How Evil People are Handled by God

Latest Rabbi Kessin shiur

Recognizing Abuse

by Rabbi Michoel Gourarie

Mirror Theory

We can all think of a few people that we would describe as being 'impossible'. These are individuals who push the wrong buttons, irritate us to no end and annoy us whenever we talk to them. These are the people that we find arrogant, critical, and negative or possess some other character deficit. How do we handle impossible people?

The interesting thing is that we don't all find the same people hard to take. The guy that annoys me doesn't bother my wife and the neighbor that she dreads talking to I can communicate with easily. Why do these difficult people clash with some but not with others?

The Baal Shem Tov explained this with the "mirror theory". He taught that when we look at others we are looking at a mirror. When we observe and analyze the behavior of other people we actually discover ourselves in them. The profile we create for others is shaped by our own personality.

None of us are perfect. We all have our deficiencies and areas of personality that are underdeveloped and need work. But we are often unaware of these deficits. Self love often causes us to be in denial, preventing us from resolving and correcting these weaknesses.

When we observe character defects in other people and criticize them, it is really the undeveloped parts of our personality that are showing up. We are only so irritated by these blemishes because the very same issues are unresolved within ourselves. My spouse might not have the same area of weakness, and therefore does not notice it in others.

When we see faults in others it can be used as an opportunity for self reflection. If we think someone is arrogant we can examine our own egos. If we describe someone as being unkind we can examine our level of kindness, compassion and empathy. If our friend's judgmental nature bothers us we should think about how we view other people.

We should always endeavor to look at people in a positive light. But when it becomes difficult, it is an opportunity to look inwards.

Art: Jack Vettriano

What about Abuse?

Is the "mirror theory" always true? For example, what about a woman who stands up to her husband who is abusing her physically or emotionally. Does it mean that because she has identified the abuse, there is something wrong with her? Does it mean that she has an abusive side to her?

Answer:

Thank you for asking this important question, allowing me to clarify the concept that I was sharing.

Inappropriate control, physical or emotional abuse is inexcusable. No one should ever have to be controlled or be the subject of any form of abuse. One of the most important aspects of a person is their dignity. In Halachic sources, we discover that there are instances where certain laws are suspended to preserve the dignity of the human being. The Talmud says that embarrassing or humiliating someone, particularly in public, is comparable to murder.

Victims of any form of abuse should never blame themselves in any way. Being the recipient of abuse is not a reflection of an abusive personality within the victim. A chronic controller or abuser is unwell, and identifying a sickness of another does not mean I myself am sick.

The mirror theory I shared with you is very different. What I was referring to was noticing deficiencies and weaknesses of other people that fall within the normal realm of human function. These deficiencies do not really affect or compromise us. They just seem to annoy and bother us even though other people do not appear to be affected.

It is these "blemishes" that we notice or highlight in others, which are really a mirror image of our own. It is these weaknesses that our sages refer to when they say that we should judge others favourably and focus on fixing ourselves first.

Count Only on Hashem

With the removal of American troops from Syria, Israel is being isolated as prophesied to happen before Moshiach, showing that we cannot count on Trump or anyone else, only Hashem..... so says  Rabbi Mizrachi  from about the 13 minute mark in this video.

The Seventh Day

Art: Miki Karni

Va'eira: An Island in Time

[extracts from "The Curtain Parted" by Robert L. Kremnizer]

In the midrash of Va'eira, Moshe tells Pharoah that the Jews will not work on Shabbat. What is the mystery of Shabbat that is so important that Pharoah is forced to cope with the fact that Jews will not work on this day? For most uninitiated Jews, Shabbat seems an enormous chore: a day without shopping, travelling, television.... who wants to live like this? Who would voluntarily undertake this imprisonment? Intelligent caring Jews shake their heads in dismay and extend their hearts to pity the misguided fanatics involved in this primitive rite, for whom reason appears not to exist.

In truth, it is difficult to communicate the preciousness of Shabbat because to a large extent its joy must be experienced. The apparent restrictions are in fact gates to new, greater and dazzling freedoms. These freedoms, however, become available only after the experience of Shabbat is lived, and lived repeatedly. Those not prepared to invest the time and energy, sadly never discover the wonder of the phenomenon.

We have a saying, that more than the Jewish people have kept the Shabbat throughout our history, the Shabbat has kept the Jewish people. The celestial properties of Shabbat are a necessary ingredient for the spiritual thriving and prospering of a Jew.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe taught that the blessings of Am Yisrael come to us because of Shabbat. Indeed, whoever keeps Shabbat properly obtains these unlimited blessings. Fascinatingly, these blessings come to those who actually fix their boundaries on Shabbat - not of course physical boundaries, but those which a Jew takes on for spiritual reasons. Am Yisrael and Shabbat therefore are absolutely and completely inter-dependent, and without Shabbat we cannot access these unlimited blessings.

Shabbat is best understood in terms of withdrawal from the creative and destructive physical activities into spiritual ones. On Shabbat a Jew abstains from 39 forms of labour and withdraws from the physical into the spiritual, surrendering his dominion over the creative and destructive processes of the world. On the seventh day, a Jew imitates G-d's withdrawal from the creative processes, to journey into touch with Hashem and, in doing so, renews personal vigour and recharges spiritual potential.

The Neshamah

The Jewish soul, the neshamah, has five levels. Three of these levels are enclothed in the body, two are not. The highest of the levels of the neshamah not enclothed in the body is called "Yechidah" - that part of the soul which is bound-up together with Hashem. On the day of Shabbat, the observance of Shabbat reaches that level of every neshamah which is "Yechidah", higher than any revelation of his neshamah in his body.

Anatomy

The three lower levels of the neshamah are revealed in the body. The neshamah has various powers which are revealed through organs of the body. For example, the neshamah has a power to see, and the power to see is revealed in the body. It is revealed in the body even without the organ which is instrumental in doing the seeing.

If a man's eye is impaired, he cannot see, but he still has the power to see. The proof is that we can mend the eye and the sight is restored. Similarly with hearing. Again, there is the power to hear and there is the instrument which hears. If the instrument is faulty, hearing is impaired. Nevertheless while the ear is faulty, the power to hear remains. Separate the neshamah from the body, by death, remove the power to hear, and the best ears in the world will still hear nothing.

The neshamah also has powers which are not enclothed or revealed in the body. The level of the Yechidah, as we have just learned, is not revealed in the body whatsoever. This is the level of the neshamah which responds when a Jew keeps Shabbat. Since this level of neshamah is independent of the physical body, the revelation is equal in all Jews.

As every Jew's Yechidah is part of Hashem Himself, there can be no concept of superiority or inferiority or a quantitive difference in a Jew's Yechidah; and it is specifically this level which is revealed on Shabbat. This is because the Yechidah, bound up and part of Hashem, is exposed and highlighted by the keeping of Shabbat. Not surprisingly, one can actually feel this. Ba'alei Teshuvah often report this phenomenon.

This is what Yaakov was doing establishing the boundaries for Shabbat as an inheritance for Am Yisrael forever. This inheritance is so specific that even Pharoah was bound by it in this parsha. These are the gates to freedom, mistakenly perceived by the uninitiated as limitations on freedom. When keeping Shabbat, a Jew is in touch with the level of his neshamah which is the Yechidah, and by doing so he is directly in touch, in a feeling sense, with G-d.

New Year's Eve Segulah

Copied from the FB page of  Rav Avrohom M. Alter -  January 1, 2018 · New Years Eve Segula

The Apta Rav says that sometimes our prayers are unworthy of being accepted on High on Rosh Hashana. So Hashem waits until the gentile new year and observes how they celebrate it vs how we celebrate ours.  In THAT merit Hashem then accepts our tefilos back from Rosh Hahshana!!

The Rationale Behind God's Justice

Rabbi Mendel Kessin, latest shiur.

The Hidden Message in the Ten Plagues

Rabbi Alon Anava

Sufficient Aggravation

Rabbi Nota of Chelm had a chassid who was very well-to-do, who said to him "I am very wealthy and I lack for nothing. But recently there is a little voice within me, that tells me that all is not well. It is as if I have a premonition that my fortunes are about to take a turn. It is one thing if a person is born into a life of poverty, and accepts poverty as a way of life. Not so with me. If I lose my fortune, the change will be disastrous, and I doubt that I will be able to adjust to it."

"What kind of changes have you made in your home recently?" Rabbi Nota asked.

Assuming that the Rabbi was inquiring about laxity of Torah observance, the chassid said "G-d forbid, Rabbi. Everything is as it was. Shabbos is totally Shabbos, my kosher standards are as rigid as ever, and I faithfully study the Torah daily."

"That's not what I am after" the Rabbi said. "What physical changes have you recently made in your household?"

The chassid thought for a moment, then said "Yes, I did make a change, but it is hardly significant. I had a set of expensive crystal glassware, but I would get upset when a crystal goblet fell or was chipped. I therefore set it aside, and bought silver goblets which are more resistant to damage."

"There you have your answer" Rabbi Nota said. "Every person is destined to experience a small amount of adversity. You were fulfilling your quota of unpleasantness when a piece of crystal was damaged. When you eliminated that source of unpleasantness, you invited adversity from other sources. Put away the silver goblets and use the crystal again. You will then have sufficient aggravation from the crystal being chipped so that you will not need any other."

And so we have an explanation for the custom in Jewish homes that when a glass or dish breaks, we exclaim "Mazel tov!" If we were destined to experience some loss, we satisfied this decree by the loss of the glass or dish, and now we could go on to be happy.

Source: Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski MD

What God Really Wants From Man

I was hoping for a new 21st Century talk but this is good too.

Checkmate

Trump's brilliant move : read it here

I'm hoping Rabbi Kessin will have a new shiur up as I'm sure he'll have plenty to say right now.

The Re-count

Rabbi Glazerson brings some very interesting information in this video....concerning the month of Teves 5778 - which we know was last year - however, we count the years differently depending on the matter in hand.  When we count the years for Moshiach's arrival, we count from Adam -  after all, the word Adam is an acronym for Adam/David/Moshiach.  So perhaps when we were all disappointed that Moshiach didn't arrive in 5778...... according to the ''counting from Adam'' we are still in 5778.

Everything's in the Torah

Tonight marks 11 years since my sister and her husband were killed instantly in a freak car accident on 11 Teves.  The parsha at the time was Vayechi, the same parsha we read this week.

Their names were Zev Yosef a"h and Rachel a"h.  All of those names can actually be found in parshat Vayechi.

Yosef - Vayechi 48:1

Rachel - Vayechi 48:7

Zev - Vayechi 49:27

What does it mean?  I have no idea.... but it's pretty cool.

In Pursuit of Truth

Art Mike Worrall

"Tzedek, Tzedek shall you pursue, that you may live and inherit the earth." [Deut 16:20]

"Pursuit" in Scripture is usually in order to destroy, as in "Five of you shall pursue a hundred" [Lev. 26:8].  Why, then, are we told to pursue tzedek - truth - as if it were an evil that we wish to eradicate?

There are times when we must keep away from the truth.

G-d asked Abraham: "Why did Sarah laugh, saying "Will I really give birth, when I have become old?" [Genesis 18:13]. Actually, Sarah had said that Abraham was old [Gen 18:12].  G-d changed the report for the sake of harmony between the two.

Why did G-d mention age at all?

To teach us to use falsehood when necessary for peace.  Being overly "righteous" about it is forbidden.

There are times when truth destroys and falsehood builds.

This is demonstrated by the very word שׁקר - "falsehood". Two of its letters stand on a single base, making them unstable.  Why, though, is the first letter - שׁ - sometimes formed with a stable base?  To show that we should not always discard falsehood. On occasion it is necessary.

Returning to our verse: "Tzedek, tzedek shall you pursue, so that you may live and inherit the earth".  The first tzedek means "charity" or "kindness".  The second means "truth". (Tzedek bears both meanings in Biblical Hebrew).  Our verse hints that truth is to bring charity and kindness in its wake.  Sometimes, charity and kindness require you to "pursue" and banish truth.  When?  "So that you may live" - when life is at stake.

If a critically ill person asks you how he looks, don't reply: "You look as if your condition is deteriorating."  That might hasten his death.  Lie and say: "You look as if you are on your way to recovery."  His joy at hearing this may help him recover.

You may also have to banish truth to bring peace.

Let's say Reuven sent a messenger to pick something up from Shimon, whose response was to curse Reuven.  Afterward, Reuven asks his messenger "What did Shimon say?"  To prevent a feud, Shimon must refrain from telling him the truth.

Pursue truth "and inherit the earth" - banish truth to bring peace, which preserves the earth.

Source: Od Yosef Hai, Derushim Shoftim - Ben Ish Chai

Kabbalah of the Dreidel

The Dreidel Players: Elena Flevora

There are four letters on the dreydel. נ - Nun, ג - Gimel, ה - Hay, and שׁ - Shin - These letters stand for "Nes Gadol Haya Sham" - "A great miracle happened there".

[In Eretz Yisrael it is a פ - Peh instead of the Shin: A great miracle happened here.]

The four letters stand for:

a) the four parts of man - Nefesh [soul], Guf [body], Seichel [intellect], HaKol [all the rest].

b) the four foundations of the world - fire, water, wind and earth

c) the four nations that put us in exile - Egypt, Persia, Greece and Rome.  The four letters on the dreydel have the gematria of Moshiach [358].  This is also the gematria of Hashem is King etc. Chanukah is the season when the possibility exists for the light of Mashiach to burst forth. Then, man and the world will be restored to harmonious relationship and the last and most bitter exile of Rome will draw to a to a close, and we will see the fulfillment of the verse that Hashem will be King forever. [Bnei Yissaschar]

Chanukah and Purim have much in common. They are two holidays which will enjoy an exalted status when Mashiach comes. They were celebrations which were decreed by the Rabbis to commemorate events that took place in their time. Since the faith of the Jewish people were instrumental in bringing these holidays about, the Holidays of the Torah will pale in comparison to them, like a flashlight shining on a sunny day.

Both days have their special instrument. Purim the gregger, Chanukah the dreydel. Their use is indicative of the nature of the holiday.

Purim's gregger we hold from below to symbolize that the great Teshuva on the Jews provided an initiative from below which caused the divine initiative to bring about the miracle.

On Chanukah we use a dreydel which we hold from above to symbolize that the principle initiative for the miracle came from above, and our actions brought it to fruition.

Source: Nishmas

Also see:  The Kabbalah of the Dreidel 

Rabbi Kessin on the Tamar Yonah Show

Tamar speaks to Rabbi Kessin about current events, including Hamas attacks, Hezbollah Missile threat, Iranian Nuclear threat, Bibi’s failing government, the Migrant-Caravan pushing into the US southern border and more.

Click here to listen.

Trust Only in Hashem

"Yet the chief wine butler did not remember Yosef, and he forgot him" [Vayeishev 40:23]

This verse seems redundant, noted the Maharam of Amshinov. Why must it state that "he forgot him" once it already informed us that "the chief wine butler did not remember Yosef".

The Rebbe answered: As soon as Yosef uttered his request to the chief wine butler he realized that he had sinned, as he had trusted in a human being instead of Hashem.  He therefore prayed to Hashem that the butler would forget his request entirely! And, indeed, "he forgot him".

Rashi explains that Heaven punished Yosef and made him remain in prison an additional two years because he placed his trust in the chief wine butler.

The Alter of Novarodok's (R' Yosef Yozel Horowitz) level of bitachon was legendary.

One night, the Alter was sitting alone in his house in the woods learning Torah by candlelight. He continued learning until his very last candle burned out.

The Alter was now left sitting in complete darkness and it saddened him that he would have to stop learning for lack of a candle. But then the Alter decided that he must strengthen his faith in Hashem and trust that He would provide him with all that he needed - including a candle.

The Alter quickly got up and opened the door of his home. At that very moment, a man stepped out of the forest, handed him a candle, and disappeared.

For twenty-five years, the Alter saved the candle as a remembrance of that miracle and to show his students that Hashem takes special care of those who sincerely trust Him.

But then a fire broke out in Novarodok.  The Alter's home was among the many homes that were destroyed in the fire.  The fire consumed everything that was in the house, including the wondrous candle.

"You should know" said the Alter to his students, "that Heaven made us lose the candle in order to teach us that we must trust in Hashem even when we have no proof that He will help us".

Source: Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein

What Happens in Hell - Rabbi Mendel Kessin

New shiur

A Message for Eisav

by Rabbi David Hanania Pinto

"And he said, "If Esau comes to one camp and strikes it down, the remaining camp will escape."

 וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אִם־יָב֥וֹא עֵשָׂ֛ו אֶל־הַמַּֽחֲנֶ֥ה הָאַחַ֖ת וְהִכָּ֑הוּ וְהָיָ֛ה הַמַּֽחֲנֶ֥ה הַנִּשְׁאָ֖ר לִפְלֵיטָֽה  [Vayishlach 32:9]

Take a look at the word in the Torah "והכהו" - ''strikes it down''.   Whether we read it forwards or backwards, it is the same word.

There is a great message here, as is found in the Sefer Da'at Chachamim. Every blow, every wound that the gentiles inflict on Am Yisroel, will eventually rebound and hit them back in the face.

Mamash Angels

We've been told that the way to avoid the chevlei Moshiach [birthpangs of Moshiach] is by learning Torah and doing good deeds. The other advantage of both these things is that when you do them, you create [good] angels for yourself, as Yaakov does in this week's Parsha.

"And Yaakov sent angels ahead of him to Eisav" [Vayishlach 32:4]

Rashi comments: "And Yaakov sent angels -  literally [mamash] angels".

R'Meir of Premishlan explained Rashi's words with the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos [4:13] : "He who fulfills one mitzvah gains one advocate for himself". When an individual performs a mitzvah, he creates an angel that speaks favorably on his behalf in Heaven.

The verse tells us that Yaakov sent angels as messengers to Eisav. Which angels did Yaakov send? Those angels that had been created through the mitzvos that he had performed.

This is what Rashi is alluding to when he says: "mamash angels".  For "mamash" is the acronym of the words "malachim me'mitzvos sheásah" ["angels from the mitzvos he performed"].

Source: Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein

The Path You Choose

Photo: Source unknown

Every action we do creates an angel. A good action creates a defending angel, a bad one creates a prosecuting angel.

One lie will lead to many more lies, creating more and more prosecuting angels.

Every day contains the potential for the creation of good angels who will defend and assist you in times of need.

Chazal teach that the path you choose to follow is the path along which you will be lead. Good deeds will lead to more good deeds.... while lies and deception bring about a continuing cycle of lying to cover up the previous lies.  

There is a way to break the cycle, and that is to about-turn, and retrace your steps. This is teshuvah - returning to the right path. This path ensures a continual helping hand from Above.

Any obstacles encountered whilst retracing your steps are called "tikunim" - corrections. Each one is a test, tailored to suit your needs. Passing each test is achieving a tikkun in that area, or with a particular person.

Sometimes tests come all at once, and sometimes they are few and far between. Each person will be given exactly what they require at exactly the right time.

Tikunim can also relate to actions done in past lives. You may have owed someone an apology from another lifetime. You have met up now, in order to achieve a rectification.

As long as you are on the right path, the obstacles will be easily taken care of. The key is to have trust [bitachon] in Hashem and never give up or be side-tracked. But even if this does happen, you can again retrace your steps and return. Teshuvah is never out of anyone's reach.

A life without bitachon leads to worry and anxiety:

ביטחון - bitachon - trust

דאגה - deagah - worry or anxiety

דאגה contains the first 5 letters of the alef-beis, minus the letter "beis" - which stands for "bitachon" showing us that a life without trust in Hashem will result in worry and anxiety.

באר - baer - is the Hebrew word for "well"

בור - bore - is the Hebrew word for "bore/pit"

Whilst they sound the same, and have similar meanings, there is a major difference between the two.

A Baer is a living well, a well containing water that is "alive".

A Bore is a hole, containing dead stagnant water or worse.

The difference between the two words in Hebrew is the Aleph in the centre of the word באר.

The Aleph represents Hashem [Adon Olam]. If you have Hashem in the middle of your life, you will access the well of the living waters. If you remove Hashem from the centre of your life, it becomes a bottomless pit.