Stop Talking Only to Yourself

 

Art Richard Prince

By Rabbi Alon Hazi, Chabad Sydney 

Stop talking only to yourself — talk to Hashem. 

He is here with you. 

Sometimes a person carries on entire conversations inside their own mind: Why did this happen to me? What is going to happen? Maybe I made a mistake? How can I fix things? Why do I feel so alone? 

The thoughts return again and again. 

We analyze the past, fear the future, blame ourselves and search for answers — but we do not always find peace. 

The Torah offers us another path: 

Do not speak only to yourself. 

Speak to Hashem. 

King David says: “I will pour out my words before Him; I will tell Him of my distress.” — Tehillim 142:3 

And also: “A prayer of the afflicted person when he is overwhelmed, and pours out his words before Hashem.” — Tehillim 102:1 

It does not say merely to think about the pain. It says to tell it to Hashem. Tell Him what hurts. Tell Him what frightens you. Tell Him about your mistakes. Your regret. Your longing. Your loneliness. Your anger. The things you do not understand. And what you so deeply hope will happen. 

When Chana was broken and in pain, she said: “I poured out my soul before Hashem.” — I Shmuel 1:15 

She then added: “Out of the abundance of my distress and anguish, I have spoken until now.” — I Shmuel 1:16 

Chana did not hide her pain, frustration or inner turmoil from Hashem. She poured out her soul before Him. 

Our Sages learned from her prayer: “Chana spoke upon her heart” — from here we learn that one who prays must direct the heart. 

“Only her lips moved” — from here we learn that one who prays must form the words with the lips. In other words, it is not enough for everything to keep circulating inside the mind. We must give it words and speak it before Hashem. — Berachot 31a 

Yaakov Avinu also did not hide his fear: “Please save me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esav, for I am afraid of him.” — Bereishit 32:12 

He simply said: Master of the world, I am afraid. 

Moshe Rabbeinu also spoke to Hashem from a place of difficulty and exhaustion: “Why have You brought harm upon Your servant… placing the burden of this entire people upon me?” — Bamidbar 11:11 

A person is allowed to say to Hashem: “It is hard for me.” “I do not understand.” “I do not know what to do.” “I feel that I have no strength.” “Please help me see things clearly.” “Help me repair what is within my power.” “Give me the strength to accept what I cannot change.” “Do not let me forget that You are here with me.” 

The Rambam writes that the mitzvah of prayer includes praising Hashem and then: “Asking for the needs that he requires, through request and supplication,” each person according to his ability. 

Before the fixed wording of prayer was established, each person would speak and ask according to his ability, in his own words. — Rambam, Hilchot Tefillah 1:1–3 

Our Sages also taught that after the formal prayer, a person may add extensive personal requests, even as long as the confession of Yom Kippur. — Berachot 31a 

Chassidut teaches that before prayer, a person should contemplate: “Behold, Hashem stands over him… and looks upon him and examines his heart and mind.” — Tanya, Chapter 41 

Hashem is not far away. He is not merely an idea in which we believe. He is here. He hears. He knows the heart. And yet, He wants a person to open the heart and speak. 

In Likkutei Torah, prayer is described as “the service of the heart.” It's purpose is not only to receive what we are missing, but to connect the heart to Hashem, elevate our emotions and bring life into our entire service of Hashem throughout the day. 

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov teaches: “Hitbodedut — personal conversation with Hashem — is an exceedingly great and lofty virtue.” A person should explain and express his conversation between himself and his Creator in the language in which he normally speaks, and tell Him everything that is in his heart: regret over the past, requests for the future and everything he lacks in his service of Hashem. — Likkutei Moharan II, Teaching 25 

There is no need for impressive language. There is no need to try to sound like a great tzaddik. Rabbi Nachman says that the main thing is to speak before Hashem: “As one person speaks to a friend.” Simply, honestly and directly. Even without tears and even without feeling a special spiritual awakening, the main thing is to speak truthfully. — Likkutei Moharan II, Teaching 95 

And what happens when you have no words? You can speak about that as well. You can say: “Master of the world, I want to speak to You, but my heart is closed.” “I do not even know what to say.” “Please open my mouth and my heart.” Rabbi Nachman says that even when a person can say only one sentence, he should repeat it again and again, because words have tremendous power. 

Even something as simple as: “Father, please help me.” “Give me strength.” “Do not leave me.” That too is extremely precious. — Likkutei Moharan II, Teaching 96 

Hashem already knows everything we are experiencing. Prayer is not meant to give Him new information. Speaking is meant to remind us that we are not alone. 

When a person speaks only to himself, he may remain trapped inside a cycle of fear, guilt and endless thoughts. But when he speaks to Hashem, the thought becomes prayer, the pain becomes connection, and loneliness finds a place within the Divine presence.

“Trust in Him at all times, people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge.” — Tehillim 62:9 

Stop talking only to yourself. Talk to Hashem. Tell Him everything. He is here. He is listening. He knows you. And He is with you, even in what you are going through right now. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Sources: 

📖 Tehillim 102:1 — “He pours out his words before Hashem” 

📖 Tehillim 142:3 — “I will pour out my words before Him” 

📖 Tehillim 62:9 — “Pour out your hearts before Him” 

📖 Eichah 2:19 — “Pour out your heart like water before Hashem” 

📖 I Shmuel 1:13–16 — Chana’s prayer and pouring out of the soul 

📖 Bereishit 32:12 — Yaakov’s prayer from a place of fear 

📖 Bamidbar 11:11 — Moshe’s words from a place of difficulty 

📖 Berachot 31a–b — Lessons from Chana’s prayer and personal requests 

📖 Taanit 2a — “What is service of the heart? This is prayer” 

📖 Yevamot 64a — Hashem desires the prayers of the righteous 

📖 Rambam, Hilchot Tefillah, Chapter 1 

📖 Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 119 

📖 Tanya, Chapter 41 — “Behold, Hashem stands over him” 

📖 Likkutei Torah, Acharei Mot 25d — Service of the heart 

📖 Likkutei Torah, Balak 70c onward — Prayer as the life of the mitzvot 

📖 Likkutei Moharan II, Teaching 25 — The greatness of hitbodedut 

📖 Likkutei Moharan II, Teaching 95 — Speaking to Hashem as to a friend 

📖 Likkutei Moharan II, Teaching 96 — Even one sentence 

📖 Likkutei Moharan II, Teaching 100 — The path of the righteous through hitbodedut 

📖 Likkutei Moharan, Teaching 259 — Expressing one’s pain before Hashem