As Good As It Gets

Art: Sharon Tomlinson

This is beautiful.... Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's message to his eldest daughter Mushki, on the occasion of her marriage this week.

Message to my daughter under the Wedding Canopy

Mushki, given the paucity of my experience in conducting Jewish weddings, I feared that I’d perform the ceremony imperfectly and my own daughter would end up living perpetually in sin. So, I brought in the heavy guns – your new grandfather-in-law, Rabbi Zalman Lipsker of Philadelphia – to join me in conducting your wedding.

I have waited my entire life as a parent to see you here under the chupa-wedding canopy, baby girl. You are my eldest child and we have always shared a special bond. One night, when you were about three and we were living in Oxford, I hosted ‘important’ people for dinner and you were sent with your baby sister Chana to your room. You weren’t used to being separated from me and Mommy and we had to install small bars in front of the bedroom door to make sure you stayed in bed and didn’t escape. A few minutes later we were all startled to hear shrieks from upstairs. We ran and saw you were squashing your sister underfoot, using her as a step ladder to climb out. Years later, when we moved to New Jersey and you were about ten, I was sitting and doing an interview with a journalist when I suddenly felt my entire back crumble. You had lunged yourself from the top of the couch right on me. You were my firstborn, and, having learned from the baby-as-step-ladder experience, you were allowed to invade my every meeting.

But now, as we stand here, those are mere memories and serious changes are afoot. The man standing next to you is to become the epicenter of your life. Like an old, crumpled paper, I am yesterday’s news (you know how much I like feeling sorry for myself.) But far from being sad, I am ecstatic to see you with your chosson. It is a validation of everything I stand for and believe. Your father is the product of a broken home and I bear the scars of that breakup till this day. Seeing you marry a fine young man with whom you will build a life makes me feel like I have reversed some of the wounds I have endured. I have been given the privilege of seeing love come alive, not just among strangers but among my own flesh and blood.

The ancient Rabbis say that a chupa is a recreation of Eden, which is why it is covered in beautiful flowers and other natural ornaments. In a sense you, Arik, are the first man, and you Mushki, are Eve, the first woman, in this new world you are both building.

Bereishis-Genesis, which we read in the Torah a little over a week ago, is the story of two people who owned absolutely nothing, not even clothing. And yet, in each other they found paradise. Their only possession was love and they reveled in the fullness that their companionship provided. Adam, whose first emotion, the Torah says, was loneliness, discovered fulfillment in the wife at his side and Eve too found happiness in her penniless husband. We commemorate that tradition till today by having a bridegroom empty his pockets prior to his arrival at the Chupa so that his wife accepts him for who he is without any accoutrements. With Eve believing in him, Adam gained confidence. He felt his very being was sufficient to make his wife blissful. She laughed at his jokes. She snuggled at his side. Eve, too, felt desirable and essential. She was, in a very real sense, Adam’s one and only. There was noone else in the entire world to distract him and he loved her with every molecule of his being.

But the story takes a sudden and painful turn. Enter the serpent who points out to Eve that there is a fruit she has never tasted. “Are you really happy?,” he asks. “Look at all the things that are outside your reach. The neighborhoods you can’t afford. The vacations you haven’t taken.” Eve looks sad. Adam begins to feel like he’s not enough. They have made one another feel inadequate and in so doing they have transformed paradise into hell. And all because they simply switched their focus, away from what they have to what they lack. And that is why, as soon as they eat from the forbidden fruit, the Bible famously says they ‘came to know their nakedness.’ Whereas before they felt they had everything, now they felt like they had nothing. Fullness has been replaced with failure. Enrichment with emptiness. They banished themselves from Eden.

In a real sense so many people today use possessions and material objects to fill the holes of their hollow hearts. They live with the mistaken belief that money will buy them Eden. But the lesson from the story of Adam and Eve is that paradise is not a fixed point on the globe but a habitation in the heart. It is not a geographic location that can be visited or a piece of real estate that can be purchased. It is, rather, an emotional frame of mind that must be experienced. Eden is walking by a river bank holding the hand of the spouse you love and paradise is seeing the children you have together laughing at the Sabbath table. I remember once, Mushki, that as a family we visited Washington, DC. All my children were walking ahead of me looking at the cherry blossoms and Mommy walked at my side. And I consciously remember thinking to myself that this is as good as it gets. This is life at the mountaintop.

But just as paradise is something that lives inside us, and can be experienced at any loving moment, so too the serpent slithers within, attempting to inject his venom into our bloodstream. His poison is cold, numbing us to the blessings that surround us. The Bible says that as a result of his voraciousness, the serpent is cursed to eat dust all his days. Dust is plentiful, but always unsatisfying. And so is the materialism and upward career mobility which are used today as poor substitutes for love. You must therefore expel the serpent from Eden, giving him no quarter in your heart.

When you were born, Mushki, your mother and I became parents. Suddenly we had everything. We took you everywhere. As you know I love the outdoors. I would carry you on my back up steep hills that would make your mother’s heart skip a beat and bring her to the cusp of profanity (don’t worry, she never crossed the line). We took you to visit your Grandma whom we told you lived in Miami, and the next week you cried to us that you wanted to go back to ‘Grandma’s Ami.’

Yet here you are, abandoning your father – after you had promised you’d hang around until drool was coming out of my mouth and I was in diapers – and running off with another man. But it’s as it’s supposed to be. The Bible says it most eloquently: ‘Therefore shall a man, leave his father and leave his mother, he shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

But as the two of you profess your love and dedication to each other, one question remains. What are the rest of us doing here? Why is the public gathered at this most private of moment? Why are marriages communal affairs?

Because your love is never meant to be private. You’re meant to light up the world with your affection. All of us who have gathered here look today to the two of you for inspiration. Those of us who are in less than loving marriages, or who were hurt by love, we look to you to believe again. All those whom life has beat up and who have been through the rinse cycle are looking to you to heal. All those whom relationships have let down are looking at you to feel lifted up. Inspire us. Move us. Free us from cynicism and despair. Give us hope. In witnessing the two of you dedicating yourselves to each other you have given us all a taste of paradise.

Go forth and build an eternal home among Israel and the Jewish people. Go forth and turn the ordinary into the extraordinary, the natural into the miraculous, the everyday into Eden.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has just published Ten Conversations You Need to Have with Yourself.’ (Wiley) His upcoming book, ‘Kosher Jesus,’ is dedicated to his daughter Mushki and son-in-law Arik who were married this week. Follow him on Twitter @RabbiShmuley.

The Vilna Gaon on Yonah: Secrets of Reincarnation

A Glimpse into the world of Remez

Rabbi Eliyahu of Vilna, commonly known as the Gaon [literally "genius"] was probably the most influential Jewish leader in modern history. He never assumed any official position of leadership and spent his time in almost total isolation toiling day and night in torah study. He became the undisputed greatest torah scholar and kabbalist in modern history.

The book of Yonah is read every Yom Kippur in all orthodox synagogues. The simple meaning of the story contains the theme of repentance. However, as is known there are 4 main dimensions of interpretation in the torah. They are 1: "Pshat" [simple,literal meaning], 2: Remez [allusion, hinted], 3: Drosh [not explicit interpretation], 4: Sod [secret meaning, which form the acronym PaRDeS (orchard)]. The Vilna Gaon on Mishlei [1:6, commentary "chemda genuza"] explains: "The 4th level of Torah, called "Sod" [secret] is the inner and primary meaning. The other lower meanings, are also true, but serve primarily for the purpose of straightening a man in order that he be sufficiently spiritually developed to understand the Sod". These four dimensions of interpretation exist certainly in the 24 books of the bible but even in the mishna and in the talmud. 

Very few people can delve properly beyond the pshat. Only one who has attained mastery in the four levels can be capable of deciphering the hidden code. The Vilna Gaon was such a rare person and offers us a spectacular view of a parallel book of the Yonah story in the realm of "Remez". Note that the simple meaning of the book is also true as we see, for example, that the Midrash Raba lists the "special fish" which swallowed Yonah as one of the creatures specially prepared during the 6 days of the creation of the world. Yet in the Vilna Gaon's "remez" version of the story, the fish is not real but is only symbolic of the grave of Yonah. 

This parallel story of Yonah is one of a human being who got caught up in materialism, dies, goes through Gehinom [purgatory], and returns in a reincarnation. The Sages teach that the vast majority of people alive today are reincarnations, which are sent back down because they did not complete their previous "mission". So this book, can very well speak personally to many of us. In Chapter 4 verse 3 the Vilna Gaon gives us a sign into how to see what went wrong in our previous lives.

And how could one know what he corrupted before [in his previous gilgul]? There is on this 2 signs. One - that [sin] which he stumbles many times in this gilgul. On this they said "let him examine his ways", which ones does he stumble. Two - which sin does his soul desire greatly, because it was used to it previously and became second nature. Therefore there are some men who desire one sin more, and others who desire a different sin. And on this they said "examine his ways" - that he should also fix his ways.

To read the whole thing go to: a glimpse into the world of Remez

Emunah: Above and Beyond

''He trusted in Hashem, and He considered this for him as an act of righteousness'' [Lech Lecha 15:6]

Why, asked the Chofetz Chaim, was Avraham's trust in Hashem considered 'righteousness' - as though it was something above and beyond what was demanded of him? After, all, Avraham fulfilled every commandment in the Torah; what was so unique about his trust in Hashem?

We see from here, answered the Chofetz Chaim, that trust in Hashem is more than just another mitzvah, rather it is the foundation of the entire Torah.

To what can this be compared? To a man drowning in the sea who suddenly sees a tree extending from the shore. Which part of the tree will he attempt to grab? Not the branches, for they can easily be broken off; rather, he grabs hold of the roots.

So too, concluded the Chofetz Chaim, is trust in Hashem. Trust in Hashem is comparable to the sturdy roots of a tree, which serve as a foundation and a base for the entire tree.

Source: Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein

Sparks of Holiness

"They will leave with substantial wealth" [Lech Lecha 15:14]

The above verse indicates that amassing wealth was one of the purposes of Egyptian exile.  For this to be achieved, it was necessary for Yosef to become the ruler of Egypt and gather wealth from all the other lands.

According to chassidic teachings, ''sparks of holiness'' are trapped within the physical world and are released when a Jew takes the object and uses it to perform a mitzvah.  Therefore, one of the inner purposes of exile is for the Jew to utilize physical objects in the service of G-d.

Thus, someone who truly desires to cleave to G-d needs to involve himself in the physical performance of mitzvot, for this is also the only way he can fulfill his soul's mission.

Source: Based on Likutei Sichos Lubavitcher Rebbe

Miracle in Ashdod

[INN] A classroom in a special education school in Ashdod has served as a makeshift synagogue on Sabbaths for 40 years running. Throughout those years, not one Sabbath prayer was missed. Until this last Sabbath. And that was what saved the congregants from a Gaza missile that struck the synagogue's ...

Converts and Soul Roots

 

And Abram took Sarai his wife, his nephew Lot, and all their belongings, as well as the souls that they made in Haran; and they left to go into the land of Canaan [Lech Lecha 12:5]

When a person is in a state of small-mindedness (mohin d'katnus), he gives birth to the souls of converts. (1) This is the meaning of: "the souls that they made in Haran," which is the three aspects of Elokim in Smallness, having the numerical value of the word Haran (2).

(1) This idea, found throughout the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov, is based upon the principle of root and branch souls. When a root soul falls to a lower level, it is in order to raise up the "branch" souls that are connected to him, who themselves are on a low level. Although converts may have very high souls - according to the Talmud, they observe the mitzvos with more exactitude than born Jews - before their conversion, their souls are locked in a Gentile body. A similar teaching can be found in the writings of the Baal Shem Tov concerning ba'alei teshuva - returnees to Judaism. Their ability to repent comes from the influence of a Tzaddik who has fallen to a lower level and raised himself again.

It is necessary to understand why G·d created a situation in which a Tzaddik falls from his level. It would certainly be better for him to remain constantly on his level and serve G-d with an expanded consciousness and to love Him perfectly. The Baal Shem Tov and my Master, Rabbi Dov Baer (the Maggid of Mezritch) explained it as follows. When the Tzaddik falls from his level and endeavors to regain his strength, he creates the souls of converts. This is like someone who wants to take his friend out of the mud. He also has to go down into the muck to raise him up." [See Kedushas Levi, by R. Levi Yitzchok of Berditchov, on the verse: "Your ointments have a goodly fragrance" (Song of Songs 1:3)]

(2) G-d's Name "Elokim" has the numerical value of 86. When multiplied by three, gives the number 258, which is the numerical value of the word "Haran." The implication is that when Abraham and Sarah were in the land of Haran - in a state of small-mindedness - they gave birth to the souls of converts: "the souls that they had made in Haran."

[See R. Yitzchok Luria, Etz Chayim, Sha'ar HaKelalim, chapter 13.3]

Sefer Baal Shem Tov: The Baal Shem Tov's Teachings on the Torah

Translation and Commentary by Rabbi Dr. Eliezer Shore

One Who Suffers

Art: 'The Garden of Melancholia' - Mike Worrall

The Talmud [Berachos 5] says one who suffers should examine his actions. If he doesn't find anything bad, he should consider it is due to "bitul Torah" [neglect of Torah study]. 

The commentators note "bitul Torah is also something bad. So how can one say he didn't find anything bad??"

The Vilna Gaon explains "If a person learned Torah properly, he would have found the "bad thing", since Torah opens a person's eyes to good and evil. [i.e. according to one's level of Torah learning will be his level of sensitivity to good and evil].

No Fear

by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

In our rapidly changing society, events occur with such speed that before we absorb one, another is already upon us. Additionally, our attention span has become nil. We no longer know how to listen.... even while someone is talking to us, we are busy texting someone else or scrolling through our Blackberrys. So let us pause for a moment and review recent events.

During the last months, we have lost many great Torah sages, but I wonder if we truly feel the terrible void that has been left. And now, the beloved Rebbetzin Bathsheva Kanievsky has been called on high. Her sudden demise represents a tragic loss, especially to the many thousands of women who found solace and comfort through her loving guidance, wisdom and sage advice. May her holy neshama have an aliyah and may she continue to daven for all of us.

This past week has also been a cause for jubilation and thanksgiving. For the past five years, all of us have been davening for the safe homecoming of Gilad Shalit, and now, Baruch Hashem, this past Succos we saw our prayers answered. I realize that there has also been some controversy over the exchange that made his freedom possible – a thousand savage monstrous killers released for one frail, painfully thin little Jewish soldier! To many it is incongruous to even imagine that such a disproportionate, suicidal deal could be struck. Surely, this was a grossly dangerous, ridiculous exchange.

I am not going to argue the pros and cons of that, but I do know that every Yiddishe neshama is precious to us. Our sages teach that ‘kol ha mekayem nefesh achas’ – all those who save just one life, it is accounted to them as though they saved an entire world’. Of course, you could protest, “At what price?” These savage killers could, G-d forbid, take many more lives and encourage more kidnaping.

I am not a halachic expert and I am not here to make a judgment call on that. We are Am Yisrael, and we march to the tune of a different drummer. It is not that we are unaware of the terrifying dangers that this deal represents, but just the same, to us, every Yiddish neshama is precious, so even as we offer prayers of thanksgiving for Gilad’s homecoming, we also pray that Hashem protect us from these barbaric monsters and that they perish before they inflict more harm.

Throughout the years, in my classes, I have taught that one can always find some sort of “remez” - allusion in the parsha (Torah portion of the week) to events that are unfolding before our eyes. This time, it was not only the parsha, but the Book of Psalms as well which stunningly confirm this teaching.

The Book of Tehillim designates a psalm for each day of the week. Gilad Shalit was released on the third day – Tuesday, and the psalm for that day is number 60. There are two words in that Psalm that jump out and demand our attention – Succoth and Gilad. Indeed, the release occurred on the holiday of Succoth, followed by the words, “li Gilad.” “Gilad is mine”

As for the parsha which we read on Simchat Torah, it is written, “And Hashem showed him the entire land – the Gilad” [Deut. 34:1]

Farfetched? Coincidence? Remez (a sign), a message? Take it as you will, but the fact is that these are the passages that we read from the Torah and the Book of Psalms at the time that Gilad Shalit was returned to his land. So take a few moments, put aside your Blackberry and your cell phone, and think. Think some more and absorb.

For a long time now, in many of my messages throughout the world, I have quoted a passage from our sages which teaches that our final redemption will be akin to the first one when we went forth from Egypt. In Jewish history, everything is replayed – What was it that broke Pharaoh and Egypt? – The Ten Plagues. And indeed, today we have experienced the beginnings of this very same phenomena. Time and again, I have demonstrated how each of these ancient plagues has unfolded before our very eyes.

At one of my programs, a young girl approached me: “I have to admit that your examples cannot be refuted, but Rebbetzin,” she challenged, “what about the plague of wild beasts that roamed the streets of ancient Egypt? Surely such occurrences could never happen in our 21st century.”

Well, last week, we witnessed the unbelievable – lions, lionesses, tigers, wolves, bears, monkeys, roaming the streets of Ohio. Can you imagine looking out of your window one morning and seeing lions and bears in front of your home? You’d probably shake your head in disbelief and think that you were having some sort of a nightmare.

Yes, events are unfolding so rapidly that even as they do, we remain immune. We are so preoccupied with our addictive gadgets that we don’t see, we don’t hear, and we don’t think, but while we are playing games, time is relentlessly marching on. The signs are becoming more and more intense and menacing, but we congratulate ourselves and rejoice in a false sense of security. Bin Laden and Khadaffi have been killed, so what is there to fear? We forget that even before their elimination, they had become “has been” and no longer represented a global threat. Tragically, we are oblivious to the new menace that threatens us – IRAN!. Ahmadinejad is given free rein to continue her Satanic agenda while Washington ties up Israel’s hands and instructs her to “take risks for peace.”

Just recently, Ahmadinejad’s long arm reached the U. S. where he planned to murder the Israeli and Saudi Ambassadors .... Make no mistake about it, he has many partners ready to execute his nefarious plans and some of them are right here in our own neighborhood. Just consider Chavez of Venezuela. And mind you, he has these partners throughout the world, the most dangerous being Israel’s Moslem neighbors who, in the guise of democracy and with the support of the U.S. have overthrown their dictators. These terrorists have been romantically dubbed “Revolutionaries of the Arab Spring”, but they are the harbingers of a bitter Arab winter that could freeze the world.. They have only one agenda: “Kill the Jews! Obliterate Israel!”

Ironically, it is Washington that helped choreograph this ominous scene. With America’s blessing, Mubarak of Egypt, Khadaffi of Libya, have been eliminated, paving the way for Iran’s domination of the region. It is maddening when you think about it. It was only yesterday that America helped unseat the Shah of Iran, paving the way for the mullahs to take over and impose sharia law, and it is that road that made it possible for Ahmadinejad to institute his satanic plans.

As I write these words, the murderer of Khadafy is joyously celebrating, but even as this news reaches us from Libya, so does the announcement that henceforth Sharia will be the new law of the land. Ahmadinejad is laughing up his sleeve. Not only has Washington given him the green light and tied Israel’s hands, but Washington has also eliminated all his neighbors who would obstruct his path. To be sure, he has one more obstacle to overcome..... American troops stationed in Iraq. But not to worry – Washington will soon pull them out as well.

As you my readers know, I am a survivor of the Holocaust. I smell the toxic fumes that assailed us in pre-Hitler Europe, but not only has our generation lost its ability to see, to hear, but we have also lost our sense of smell, so as the toxic fumes assail our nostrils, we fall asleep and become oblivious.

I have just touched upon a few events that must give us pause, but trust me, my friends, there is much, much more. When will we realize that there is no one to help us – that in the entire world there is no one to even raise a voice on our behalf. We, the Jewish people are like one little lamb among 70 ferocious wolves who stand ready to pounce upon us and totally devour us.

There is only One source of help for us, only One support, and that is our Heavenly Father, the Almighty G-d. From time immemorial, He has saved us from their clutches. We need not fear.. We need only turn to Him – and if we do so, not only will He answer us, but He will take our hands and lead us through the dense darkness that looms menacingly before us.

“If only My people would heed Me – If Israel would walk in My way, I would subdue their foes and against their tormentors turn My Hand...” [Psalm 81]

What a simple teaching, and yet, how difficult to understand.