by Rabbi David Hanania Pinto Shlita
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| Art Norman Rockwell |
The maggid who revealed himself to the Beit Yossef said to
him, “He who speaks Lashon Harah about others, his merits
are removed and given to the person he has spoken about. This
is the entire truth, and if people realized it they would rejoice
in discovering that Lashon Harah was spoken about them.
They would rejoice as if given a gift of gold and silver.”
We need to understand the meaning of this punishment. How
is it fair that the merits of the person who speaks Lashon Harah
are given to the one about whom he speaks? With regards to
no other sin do we find that other merits are lost as a result.
What is the reason for this special punishment regarding the
sin of Lashon Harah?
Rabbi Dessler Zatzal explained that what draws a person
into speaking Lashon Harah is his erroneous way of evaluating
himself, namely by comparing himself to others, not
by evaluating his own worth. When a person finds himself
among others, he evaluates his gestures, words, and clothing
by questioning how others will react to them. He wonders
how he will appear to others, and whether they will approve.
Thinking in this way diminishes a person, whether consciously
or unconsciously.
Such dependence on the views of others originates from
an erroneous belief. In fact we tend to think that a virtue is
considered as such only when others recognize it, to the point
that a person who is scorned seems abhorrent. Because of this
erroneous viewpoint, a person is liable to take pleasure in
compliments that he is showered with, all while knowing deep
down that he does not possess the virtues for which he is being
complimented. Evaluating oneself in this way is wrong!
It is from here that a taste for speaking Lashon Harah develops.
By recounting that others have done wrong, the speaker
highlights his own superiority, since a person will not point
out shortcomings in others if he himself possesses them. When
this person speaks Lashon Harah, it is as if he were saying:
“So-and-so has this shortcoming, but I don’t have it at all.”
One who speaks Lashon Harah wants to raise himself up
and highlight his own importance, not by his own virtues, but
by lowering others. Even if he doesn’t explicitly say so, he
still thinks it, even if unconsciously. He is seeking honor for
himself at the expense of shaming others.
Since the goal of such a person is to build himself up by
destroying others – to raise himself upon the ruins of others –
he will be punished measure for measure, meaning that others
will be elevated at his expense! His merits will therefore be
transferred to the one about whom he spoke Lashon Harah,
and the liabilities of that person will belong to him. Thus he
will be redeemed from his sins by being punished measure
for measure. What he wanted to do to others will be done to
him.
– Siftei Chaim
1 comment:
From the Rebbe:
Wonder Making
Do you want to make miracles? It’s not so hard.
Let’s say you see someone’s faults and you truly want to help—whether it be a friend, a spouse, your child or even your nemesis.
Don’t say a word about what you have found wrong. Instead, find something wondrous about that person, perhaps something that nobody ever mentions. Talk about it—to yourself, and to those who will listen and sympathize.
In very little time, you will see such a new person, you will believe you are a maker of wonders.
Indeed, we all are.
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