Truth be Told

Whenever Josh writes about controversial subjects, people email me and complain. 

First of all, you do not have to read his blog.  I suggest that if it offends you, do not click on it.

The reason I keep Josh on the Blog Roll is because I myself have been conned by a rabbi [many years ago] and I think it is important that people understand that there are, unfortunately,  rabbis today who are not what they appear to be [I'm speaking generally here, not referring to the subject of the controversial posts].   Some of these rabbis have a huge yetzer hara for money, and will do anything to get it.   Contrary to their followers' claims that these rabbis are "tzadikim", in reality they destroy lives and destroy souls.

As I don't have personal information about the rabbi[s] being written about, I don't get personally involved.  However, I do remember that at the time I was taken for a ride.... no-one believed me, and the rabbi concerned has not changed his ways at all, has not done teshuvah, and continues on his merry way, destroying lives and families.

For this reason, I think it is pertinent that people wake up to the fact that we live in a dangerous world where very few people can be trusted.  Josh, however, can be trusted, whether you agree with him or not, and for me, an honest person will always be welcome on my blog roll.  But if you don't want to read his stuff, don't click on his blog. I do not take responsibility for what he writes, you need to complain directly to him, not to me.  Josh is staying on the blog roll for many reasons, but it's your choice whether or not you read him.

Many Jewish people are, by nature, naive.  If we don't possess the trait of deceit, it's hard to notice it in someone else until it's too late and we've already been conned. Sometimes we need a wake-up call and sometimes those wake-up calls are hard to digest, but nevertheless they are necessary. 

If you comment, please don't yell or hurl abuse at me, because I will delete you :)  Josh, however, will stay. 

Sufficient Aggravation

Rabbi Nota of Chelm had a chassid who was very well-to-do, who said to him "I am very wealthy and I lack for nothing. But recently there is a little voice within me, that tells me that all is not well. It is as if I have a premonition that my fortunes are about to take a turn. It is one thing if a person is born into a life of poverty, and accepts poverty as a way of life. Not so with me. If I lose my fortune, the change will be disastrous, and I doubt that I will be able to adjust to it."

"What kind of changes have you made in your home recently?" Rabbi Nota asked.

Assuming that the Rabbi was inquiring about laxity of Torah observance, the chassid said "G-d forbid, Rabbi. Everything is as it was. Shabbos is totally Shabbos, my kosher standards are as rigid as ever, and I faithfully study the Torah daily."

"That's not what I am after" the Rabbi said. "What physical changes have you recently made in your household?"

The chassid thought for a moment, then said "Yes, I did make a change, but it is hardly significant. I had a set of expensive crystal glassware, but I would get upset when a crystal goblet fell or was chipped. I therefore set it aside, and bought silver goblets which are more resistant to damage."

"There you have your answer" Rabbi Nota said. "Every person is destined to experience a small amount of adversity. You were fulfilling your quota of unpleasantness when a piece of crystal was damaged. When you eliminated that source of unpleasantness, you invited adversity from other sources. Put away the silver goblets and use the crystal again. You will then have sufficient aggravation from the crystal being chipped so that you will not need any other."

And so we have an explanation for the custom in Jewish homes that when a glass or dish breaks, we exclaim "Mazel tov!" If we were destined to experience some loss, we satisfied this decree by the loss of the glass or dish, and now we could go on to be happy.

Source: Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski MD

Tu B’av: When Smaller Is Bigger

by Rabbi Lazer Gurkow

 

 

Self Doubt

Have you ever made a snap decision that radically altered your lifestyle? I’m talking about deciding to move to a place you were visiting, changed careers midcourse, or perhaps seeing something attractive in a particular teacher and making a snap decision to transfer your child to her class.
What occurs when the excitement wears off and reality sets in? What do you do if the new position is an improvement in some ways, but in other ways a setback? How do you respond when questions arise and self-doubt encroaches? Are you the adventurous sort who goes with the flow or the prudent sort who retreats to the safety of familiar territory?

Full Moon

The Fifteenth of Av was the happiest day in the Jewish calendar. It was a time of joy and merrymaking. Many restrictions were lifted on this day and many a tragedy was averted on this day. On this day our people took comfort for the calamities they suffered on the ninth of Av. In ancient Israel this day was dedicated to matchmaking and matrimony. (1)
The mystics saw the significance of this day in the fullness of the moon which appears as a sliver in the beginning of the month and grows progressively larger till the fifteenth of the month. Thus, synonymous with the highest point of revelation, the fifteenth is a day of abundant blessing. (2)
The problem is that after reaching its fullest capacity on the fifteenth the moon grows progressively smaller till it disappears completely. This renders the fifteenth a small consolation. It is the highest point of revelation, but it is also the beginning of the downturn. Is this a cause for celebration?

The Power of Humility

In addition to the above, the fifteenth of Av was, according to our sages, the driest day of the Israeli summer and was thus the final day to chop wood for use on the Temple’s altar. After the fifteenth the trees began to moisten, which rendered them unfit for use on the altar. (3)
The wood chopping aspect of the fifteenth answers our earlier question about the diminishing moon. Our sages taught that the sun’s light was far more intense when it was first created than it is today, but when G-d saw that humanity was undeserving of such light He concealed it. This light will yet be revealed, according to our sages, in the messianic era when our capacity for light will have increased. (4)
The moon, according to our sages, was as luminous, at first, as the sun is today. When the sun’s light was diminished to its present day proportions it was in equal measure to the moon. The moon then complained that two equal luminaries could not co exist. The moon hoped it would be granted the superior light that once belonged to the sun. But G-d instructed the moon to diminish itself and become a recipient or reflection of the sun’s light. (5)
At first glance this appears to be a punishment to the moon for its hubris. Yet upon deeper reflection we realize that it was a lesson rather than a punishment. The moon was not seeking self aggrandizement. The moon yearned for the powerful G-dly light that will be revealed in the Messianic era. This light represents absolute cognizance of our creator and total attachment to Him. The moon took note that the sun was stripped of this light and saw an opportunity to claim this connection with G-d for itself.
G-d taught the moon that growing larger does not necessarily bring one closer to G-d. On the contrary practicing humility and setting oneself aside is the path that leads to G-d. The Messianic era will not be marked by our greatness, but by our humility for when we will stand face to face with G-d our ego will be utterly suspended and we will merge completely into His beatific presence. (6) (7) (8)

Driest Day and Fullest Moon

We now return to the connection between the wood chopping aspect of the month and the diminishing moon. Up until the fifteenth of Av our ancestors prepared the wood for the Altar, but it was only after the fifteenth that the wood was actually put to use in the service of G-d. (9)
The wood chopping teaches us that there is a time for Mitzvah preparation and a time for Mitzvah observance. The diminishing moon teaches us that our actual observance of the Mitzvah does not rise to the full level of Divine worship until we internalize the true meaning of service.
The first half of the month is marked by a growing moon. It is a time to grow in our service of G-d through Torah study and Mitzvah observance. But such growth carries the danger of hubris when rather than serving G-d, our growth serves to enhance our self image. It is in the second half of the month, when the moon diminishes, that the real service of G-d can begin. We are reminded that true service is not marked by self growth but by suspending our ego and being absorbed in His greatness. This is when the observance rises from the level of practice to the level of worship.
The Fifteenth of Av is thus a day of true celebration. It marks the time when we turn from self absorption to self abnegation; when we turn our sights from ourselves to G-d.

The Highest Milestone

The above is also applicable to the journey of life. Life is a growing curve dotted with landmarks and milestones. We begin in infancy unable to accomplish anything at all. As we progress through toddlerhood and childhood we develop social skills, which are enhanced during adolescence and early adulthood through education. Graduation is a milestone of great achievement; it qualifies us to embark upon the world and make our mark.
It is only when we enter the workforce that we realize how low on the totem pole we really are. We start at the bottom rung and make the arduous climb step by tortuous step. After decades of promotion we reach our peak and decide that it is time to retire. The company throws a party and to the tune of great accolades we reach another milestone. The big question is what’s next? Can we rise from here?
The answer is yes. It is only after retirement that we attain the fullest wisdom of life. So long as we are engaged in the daily grind, our minds were focused exclusively on the next goal and it was difficult to step back and contemplate the larger questions. Once we have achieved all that can be achieved we can begin to consider the big picture. Not just pay lip service to it, but consider it on a gut level.
The big picture is the realization that life is not about what we can make of ourselves, but what we can do for others. How we can be of service and for whom we can make a difference are the sole considerations of the big picture. It is not about taking, but about giving. It is less about the mark we leave than the people we help. It is not about mastering the secrets of life; it is about serving the master of life. Arriving at this realization is the largest milestone of all.
So long as we are driven by egocentric considerations and illusions of grandeur we are blinded to the innate G-dly energy that pulsates within us and makes us unique. It is only after the ego is suspended and the glare of self image recedes that we come to appreciate how holy the human experience can be. How exalted and noble is the ethic of service. How virtuous it is to serve G-d.
It is only when we reach this milestone that life is endowed with sanctity. Reaching goals and accomplishing tasks in the service of our own ego is vane, but when we identify with this truth our achievements take on cosmic meaning.
This is the milestone that awaits us after all other milestones have been seemingly reached. When we have reached our peak and can accomplish no more we appear to begin the downward slide to oblivion. And yet it is this very slide away from the limelight that grants us the greatest gift of all; the gift of humility that bestows meaning on the whole of life.

This is the message of the waning moon. The fifteenth of the month is significant not only because it is the day when the moon shines at its brightest, but because it is the point from which we embark on our journey toward humility.

Radical Changes

We now return to the dilemma we posed at the beginning of this essay. When life presents opportunities for radical change and significant growth we embrace it because of the personal benefits we perceive in it. The truth is that these opportunities are presented to us not for our benefit, but for G-d’s; they enable us to serve G-d in new and radically different ways. (10) This truth is not presented to us upfront because if this were the only perceived benefit we would hardly be motivated to surrender everything we like about our current circumstances in the service of a higher ideal.
Life therefore presents us with many reasons to make the change. We perceive the benefit of our new employment, we anticipate the excitement of our new location, we grasp the advantage of our son’s new school and we embrace the opportunity to change. Yet unbeknownst to us we are really presented with this opportunity because it enables us to serve G-d in a new and upgraded way.
When the move has been made and we have settled in we come to learn its many drawbacks. We wonder why we didn’t perceive them earlier and why we were blinded to the difficulties we would encounter. At this point we question the wisdom of our move and consider turning back, but that is the wrong interpretation of these questions.
In truth this is life’s way of informing us that this change really was not made for personal benefit. In fact we now perceive the drawbacks that the counterbalance those benefits to which we were blinded earlier. The true purpose of our move was Divine.

Our very doubts give us opportunity to embrace our new circumstances in service to G-d rather than to ourselves. It is time to look around and ask ourselves what I and I alone can accomplish for G-d in this new place. When we find our little niche we know that we have found the true purpose of our change.
Just as the diminishing of the moon’s light presents an opportunity to suspend our ego and embrace our inherent connection to G-d so is self-doubt an opportunity to let go of the selfish reasons that precipitated our move and seek out the ways in which we can connect with G-d.

Footnotes

1. Babylonian Talmud, Taanis: 30b and Jerusalem Talmud Taanis chapter four.
2. Pri Etz Chaim Shaar Chag hashvuos. Ohr Hatorah (nach) p. 1096
3. Babylonian Talmud, Taanis: 31a. The Talmud further comments that from this point forward the nights grow longer and it is incumbent on all Jews to increase in their study of Torah. The subject of this essay will also address the question of why the night is more suitable to Torah study than the day. See also Eiruvin 65a.
4. Babylonian Talmud, Chagigah: 12a.
5. Babylonian Talmud, Chulin 60b. The moon continued to complain and G-d told her that she would serve in the day as well as the night.
6. Adapted from an address by the Lubavitcher Rebbe on 16 Av, 5745. This is also implied by G-d’s consolation to the moon that great Jews such as King David would be linked to the moon when they were descried as humble. G-d was informing the moon that true greatness is humility.
7. This helps to explain why the night is best suited to Torah study. It was only after the moon was successfully diminished that it was able to illuminate the night. The sun cannot illuminate the night. The sun turns the night into day. The moon is able to humbly accept the presence of the night and yet mitigate its darkness with light. Light and dark are opposites yet the moon reconciles them. The moon does not negate the dark; it illuminates it. When the moon began to practice self abnegation and devoted itself to the exclusive service of the Divine it was able to reflect the Divine. Light and dark are both creations of G-d. It is thus only within the power of G-d to bring the two together. The same is true of nighttime Torah study. Torah represents light. Studying the Torah at night demonstrates that the light of G-d is not opposed by the dark; on the contrary, the night can serve Torah study as well and even better than the light.
8. It is therefore with the advent of the moon that we pray every month for the light of the Moshiach. See Isaiah 30:26.
9. See commentary of Tosafos Yom Tov to Taanis 4: 8.
10. King David (Psalms 37: 23) taught that our lives are directed by G-d for the purpose of His service. Our decision to move to a particular location or vocation is guided by G-d so that we might serve Him better in that place.

The Difference between a Rich Man and a Poor Man

Art: Vladimir Kush

"And you say in your heart: "My strength and the power of my hand amassed this wealth for me" [Eikev 8:17]

A wealthy wood merchant approached R' Chaim of Volozhin and told him that he was in danger of losing his entire fortune.

"Why is your fortune at risk?" asked R'Chaim.

The merchant related his story. "I sent a large ship carrying wood to Prussia" he explained. "The Prussian authorities, however, are not allowing my merchandise into their country. They have warned me that should the ship not turn around, they will sink the ship and all of my precious cargo along with it!"

"Do not worry!" responded R' Chaim. "You will see, Hashem's salvation comes in the blink of an eye!"

That same day, the price of wood increased significantly and, to the merchant's good fortune, the Prussian authorities also allowed his ship to enter their country.

The overjoyed merchant ran over to R' Chaim. "Rebbe" he said, "today I have witnessed the hand of Divine Providence! I now realize that the government's unwillingness to allow my ship to enter their country was all for the best. For had it been permitted to enter any earlier, I would have received a lower price for my wood. Hashem saw to it, however, than my ship would not enter Prussia any earlier so that I would reap far greater profits!"

"You now see the difference between a rich man and a poor man" sighed R' Chaim. "A poor man sees Hashem's guiding Hand each and every day. But a rich man, who is certain that his wealth stems from his own abilities and strengths, only notices Hashem's Providence once every few years."

Source: Rabbi Y. Bronstein

Meshane Makom Meshane Mazal - Change Your Place, Change Your Mazal

By changing our place in life we can change our Luck [destiny or fortune]

Art: Jacek Yerka

Adapted by Yrachmiel Tilles

Many of Rabbi Yisrael Baal Shem Tov's ways might have seemed strange to an outsider, but Reb Zev Wolf Kitzes, the Baal Shem Tov's constant companion, had enough confidence in his Rebbe never to doubt his actions. He knew that in the end -- even if it took years -- all would be for the best.

Reb Zev Wolf once accompanied the Besht on a visit to a certain village Jew. The impoverished villager welcomed the Besht into his home.

"I must have a donation of 18 rubles," the Besht requested. The poor man did not have this large sum. But, considering that it was the Besht making the request, the villager took some of his furniture and his cow, sold them, and gave the Besht the money. Reb Zev Wolf looked on silently while the Besht took the money and then departed.

Several days later the villager's rent was due on his inn. He could not produce the sum and the landlord evicted him. The villager, seeing no future for himself in this small village, decided to try his luck elsewhere. He finally found himself a tiny hut in a different village with a different landlord. By selling some more of his possessions, the villager managed to buy a cow. The cow provided him with his sole source of income; he sold her milk and eked out a meager living.

Some time later the landlord's cow became sick and her milk was unusable. One of the landlord's servants who knew of the new tenant quickly went to this villager and bought milk for the landlord. When the landlord was served the milk, he commented, "This milk is of a superior quality. Tell the owner that I will pay handsomely for the privilege of being his only customer."

This incident turned the tide of fortune for the villager. Each day he delivered milk to the manor and each day the landlord commented on the quality of the milk and milk products derived from it. He grew fond of the Jew and began to consult him about his business, slowly turning over to him many responsibilities. The landlord trusted him implicitly and appreciated the Jew's honesty, reliability, and faithful service.

The landlord's relationship and bond with the villager became so deep that, being childless, he transferred ownership of that village and the nearby city to the Jew. Feeling that now everything was in good hands, the landlord took leave and went abroad after having given the Jew legal title to that area.A few years later, Reb Zev Wolf came to the village of the new landlord collecting money on behalf of Jewish prisoners and captives. Reb Zev Wolf had already collected all but 300 rubles of the sum which the Besht had designated.

Upon meeting with the village rabbi, Reb Zev Wolf questioned him as to why he was so festively attired."I am going, together with a group of the town dignitaries, to greet the landlord of this city who will be paying us a visit today. Why don't you come along with us? He is a Jew and will most probably be willing to contribute to your cause."

Reb Zev Wolf accompanied the rabbi and his companions. The landlord greeted the delegation warmly, paying special attention to Reb Zev Wolf. After a little while, the landlord took Reb Zev Wolf aside."You don't remember me, do you?" he asked. Reb Zev Wolf could not place the wealthy man's face. The landlord went on to retell the story of his change of fortune. Then, he took out 300 rubles and gave it to Reb Zev Wolf.

It was only upon returning to the Besht that Reb Zev Wolf understood the entire story. "The last 300 rubles were donated by the village Jew whom you once asked for a donation of 18 rubles. Today he is a wealthy man."

"Let me now tell you why I extracted that large sum from him when his circumstances were so difficult," explained the Besht. "A change of fortune was awaiting him in the future but not in that place. It was necessary to bring him to the end of his rope so that he would be forced to leave and settle elsewhere. That is exactly what happened. The rest you already know."

Are You a Jealous Person?

Why Envy is Ignorance
by Rabbi YY Jacobson

The tenth and final of the Ten Commandments recorded in this week's portion (Vaeschanan) reads: "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife; you shall not covet your neighbor's house, nor his field, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, and anything that belongs to your neighbor." [Deuteronomy 5:17; Exodus 20:14].

The structure of the verse seems strange. In the beginning, the Bible specifies seven things we should not covet: "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife; you shall not covet your neighbor's home, nor his field, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey." But then, at the conclusion of the verse, the Bible states: "And anything that belongs to your neighbor." Why the unnecessary redundancy? Why not just state at the onset "You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor," which would include all of the specifics? And if the Torah does not want to rely on generalizations and wishes to specify details, why does it specify only a few items and then anyhow revert to a generalization, "And anything that belongs to your neighbor?"

A Holistic Story

In Hebrew, the word employed for "anything" and "everything" is identical: "Kol." Hence, the above verse can also be translated as, "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife; you shall not covet your neighbor's house, nor his field, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, and everything that belongs to your neighbor." By concluding the verse with these words, the Torah is not just instructing us not to covet anything of our neighbor, but also helping us achieve this difficult state of consciousness.

How could you demand from a person not to be jealous? When I walk into your home and observe your living conditions, your cars, your bank accounts, and your general life style, how could I not become envious?

The answer is, "Do not covet everything that belongs to your neighbor." What the Torah is intimating is that it is indeed easy to envy the home and spouse of your neighbor, his servants, his ox and donkey; yet the question you have to ask yourself is, do you covet "everything that belongs to your neighbor?" Are you prepared to assume his or her life completely? To actually become him?

You cannot see life as myriads of disjointed events and experiences. You can't pluck out one aspect of somebody's life and state "I wish I could have had his (or her) marriage, his home, his career, his money..." Life is a holistic and integrated experience. Each life, with its blessings and challenges, with its obstacles and opportunities, constitutes a single story, a narrative that begins with birth and ends with death. Every experience in our life represents one chapter of our singular, unique story and we do not have the luxury to pluck out a chapter from someone's story without embracing their entire life-journey.

When you isolate one or a few aspects of someone else's life, it is natural to become envious. But when you become aware of "everything that belongs to your neighbor," your perception is altered. Do you really want to acquire everything that is going on in his or her life?

So the next time you feel yourself coveting the life of the other, ask yourself if you really want to become them.

Ralph Waldo Emerson was correct when he observed that "envy is ignorance."

Emunah: A Lightness of Being

 

from the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

"Eicha Esa Livadi Tarchachem U'Masachem V'Rivchem" - "How can I carry you alone, your bother, your load, and your quarrels" [Devarim 1:12]

Rashi says that Tarchachem means that they were nudnicks, and Masachem means they were apikursim [heretics] - Tarchachem clearly means tircha [bothersome], but how does masachem or heavy load come to apikursis?

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov answers that while intellectuals may consider people with emunah [faith] simple and naive, in a sense they are right.  With emunah  life becomes easier, as not everything must be explained and rationalized.  Emunah is a great tool to lift the weight from you.

 

However, an Apikores is constantly plagued by doubt and questions that nag him endlessly, leaving him no peace.  This constant state of turmoil eats at him and becomes a huge burden on his own shoulders.  This explains why Rashi says that masachem means apikursis, as there is no greater burden around. 

The Pregnant Spoon

"You must not add to the word that I command you, nor subtract from it, so as to safeguard the commandments of Hashem" [Va'etchanan 4:2]

The Dubno Maggid explained this verse by way of a parable:

An individual went to his neighbor and asked to borrow a spoon. The next day, he returned the spoon he had borrowed together with another small spoon.

"Why are you giving me two spoons?" asked his neighbor. "I only loaned you one."

"That is correct" responded his friend. "But you see, the spoon which you had loaned me was pregnant - and it gave birth."

The neighbor realized that his friend's mind had become unstable, but he nonetheless accepted the two spoons without comment.

Several days later, the friend returned and asked to borrow a cup. The neighbor lent him the cup and, surely enough, the friend gave back not one but two cups, claiming that the cup had given birth to a smaller version. The neighbor silently accepted the two cups.

Several days passed, and the neighbor was once again approached by his friend. The time, he requested to borrow a pair of silver candlesticks. The fool, thought the neighbor, will surely give me back four candlesticks. I will happily loan them to him.

Several days later, when the neighbor saw that his candlesticks had not been returned, he complained to his friend "Where are my silver candlesticks? Why have you not returned them?"

"I am sorry" responded the friend, "but your candlesticks have passed away."

"Passed away?" yelled the neighbor, "who has ever heard of candlesticks passing away?"

"My dear sir" responded the friend, "who has ever heard of a spoon or a cup that gave birth? Yet when I gave you two spoons, you took them without saying a word. Now if a spoon can give birth, then a candlestick can most certainly pass away."

With this, we can understand the aforementioned verse, concluded the Dubno Maggid. An individual must perform Hashem's mitzvos with utmost precision, for if he begins to add to the mitzvos, he will eventually come to subtract from them.

Source: Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein