Healing Rifts

Parshas Vayishlach

Re-establishing bonds/Healing Rifts

by Rav DovBer Pinson

This week's Torah reading opens with Yaakov/Jacob returning home after many years of exile. He had left his home many years earlier, to escape the wrath of his brother Esav/Esau who wished to kill him. Yaakov is now returning to make peace with his brother.

The Torah reading begins with the words “Yaakov sent angels ahead of him to his brother Esav.” [32:4]

He begins his return by sending messengers, or ‘angels.’ Angels are conduits of energy.

Sending “his angels”, represents an issuance of pure thoughts of love and reconciliation towards his brother, either through physical messengers or actual angels.

The message is relayed back to Yaakov that Esav is approaching him with four hundred men, apparently to wage war.

Realizing that Esav is not in favor of brokering peace, Yaakov prepares himself and his family for battle, prays for guidance, and finally encounters Esav.

Upon Esav’s approach, Yaakov “prostrated himself to the ground seven times, until he came close to him, to his brother. And Esav ran toward him and embraced him, and he fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.” [32:3-4]

Something crucial changed between Esav’s approach for battle and his subsequent embrace of Yaakov.

Between war and embrace, there were the seven prostrations of Yaakov - and this seems to change the entire relationship between the brothers.

When a person prostrates him/herself, they are physically breaking the straight line of their body. Spiritually, this represents a breaking of negativity or concealment. [Kidushin 29b]

Bowing is a movement that allows for an [alleged] immutable outer reality to crumble, and a new reality, one that reflects an inner truth, to emerge.

Seven is symbolic of the natural order of the world; a world created by seven in seven. The world of nature is an outer concealment that hides the miraculous, the enlivening Divine animating force and potential of everything, within it.

By prostrating seven times, Yaakov breaks the old reality that once seemed so unshakeable and revealed the truth of their story - the natural love between brothers that was always there beneath the concealments and friction.

“Until he came close to him, to his brother”

He prostrates himself until he can reach “his brother” not the external Esav who now hates him, but the inner Esav, his twin brother. This works, the outer reality falls away, and Esav responds with love, reaching out to his brother in embrace.

The Energy of the Week:

Re-establishing Bonds / Healing Rifts

This week’s Torah reading gives us the strength to repair relationships with others, particularly family, that may have been marred in the past.

The actions of Yaakov set a map for a way to reconnect.

Sending messengers, or messages if you will, is a way to begin.

Reach out carefully, being aware of the hard feelings and the need to break through.

Preparing for ‘war' represents an understanding that you are only one half of the equation, and if the good will is not reciprocated, you may have to acknowledge defeat, and wait for another time.

Prayer represents a reaching out beyond yourself - understanding that there is something greater than yourself and your estranged friend or family in this picture, and that it will affect a change for good in the entire universe if this rift is healed.

Prostrate, finally there is the need to humble our voice that wishes to hold on to an old reality and break free of what you felt to be true until now. Thus revealing a deeper truth that has been there all along.

Source: Iyyun.com

Mamash

"And Yaakov sent angels ahead of him to Eisav" [Vayishlach 32:4]

Rashi comments: "And Yaakov sent angels -  literally [mamash] angels".

R'Meir of Premishlan explained Rashi's words with the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos [4:13] : "He who fulfills one mitzvah gains one advocate for himself". When an individual performs a mitzvah, he creates an angel that speaks favorably on his behalf in Heaven.

The verse tells us that Yaakov sent angels as messengers to Eisav. Which angels did Yaakov send? Those angels that had been created through the mitzvos that he had performed.

This is what Rashi is alluding to when he says: "mamash angels".  For "mamash" is the acronym of the words "malachim me'mitzvos sheásah" ["angels from the mitzvos he performed"].

The Other Devorah

The Cloud and The Bee by Al-Baum

Torah by Rabbi Yissocher Frand

This week's parsha records the death of Rivka's nursemaid, Devorah: "Devorah, the wet nurse of Rebecca died and she was buried below Beth-El, below the Allon, and he named it, Allon-bachuth" [Vayishlach 35:8]. Rashi wonders what Rivka's nanny was doing in Yaakov's household, such that Yaakov should wind up burying her. The Medrash states that Devorah was 133 years old at the time of her death. Rashi states that Rivka had sent her old nursemaid to Yaakov in fulfillment of her promise to him that she would send word to him when it was time to come home from Padan Aram [Vayishlach 27:45]. Devorah died on the journey back home after having carried out this mission.

Rashi's words are very difficult to comprehend. Why would Rivka choose this elderly woman to journey on this long trip to carry out such a mission? Could she not find a more appropriate messenger to send word to her son that it was time to come home?

Rav Dov Weinberger makes a beautiful comment on this Rashi. Yaakov was most reluctant to leave the house of Yitzchak and Rivka. Rikva insisted that he must leave. But Yaakov protested: "What will be with my spirituality? How can I leave this holy household and survive in the house of Lavan the crook?" Rivka promised "I will take you back and I will restore to you what you lost spiritually in the years you were away."

To accomplish such a mission, one cannot send a young kid. On such a mission, one must send a "great grandmother." To restore the idea of what the House of Yitzchak was like in Yaakov's mind, it was necessary to send someone from the older generation. The person who grew up in yesteryear presents an untarnished image. They come from the "old home." Unlike the "younger generation," they represent "the way it is supposed to be."

Many times we will meet a person, not from our generation and not even from the generation of our parents, but someone from two generations ago. It is sometimes worthwhile just to observe how an old Jew acts. He witnessed what things were like "when times were spiritually correct."

Those old enough to remember Rav Ruderman saw a connection to the glory of what European Jewry was in its prime. He corresponded with the Ohr Sameach. He saw the Chofetz Chaim. He sat on Reb Chaim Soloveitchik's lap. He took walks with Reb Chaim Ozer. His reactions were Torah reactions. He knew instinctively what Yiddishkeit [Judaism] was all about.

When Rivka wanted to spiritually retrieve Yaakov from the house of Lavan, she had no choice but to send a delegate who represented the previous generation.

The Chofetz Chaim lived to be a very old man. He died when he was 93 years old. At the end of his life, he wanted to travel to Eretz Yisrael and spend the last days of his life in the Holy Land. He wanted to study the laws of Kodshim and the Temple Sacrifice there. As a Kohen, he hoped he would merit to witness the coming of Moshiach and to participate in the Divine Service in the rebuilt Beis HaMikdash.

He felt that he was an old frail man and could not contribute much more to European Jewry and therefore wanted to "retire" to the Holy Land. He took counsel with Rav Chaim Ozer, the (much younger) leader of European Jewry at the time. Rav Chaim Ozer advised him not to leave Europe. He told him "Even if you cannot be in the Yeshiva any more and you cannot give Torah lectures any more and even if you cannot write any more because of your age -- still, if you remain, people will be able to see what a Jew is supposed to look like."

This can be compared to children sitting at their parents' table. Many times they misbehave. But when their grandpa [Opa/Zeida/Saba] is sitting at the table, the behavior is different. When a member of the previous generation is there, a bit of awe and respect is present as well.

This was Rav Chaim Ozer's message to the Chofetz Chaim, and this explains Rivka's choice of messenger to retrieve her son Yaakov back from Padan Aram.

Source: Torah.org

Torah by Rabbi Azarya Berzon

Apparently, there was an underground movement in Charan which preached Avraham's morality and circulated his teachings. Rivka belonged to that movement. She knew Avraham's world, his hashkafot, and when she became his daughter-in-law she didn't have to learn it from scratch. She had received her special training even while living in a pagan home. Avraham's teaching had spread across the borders and many people in many lands were impressed. But who was the leader? Who was the teacher? It couldn't have been Rivka for she was too young. No doubt many were opposed to this movement and it had to go underground. We find its leader briefly mentioned in Chayei Sarah and then three weeks later in Parshat Vayishlach.

The leader was Devorah - Rivka's nurse [Bereishit 35:8], דברה מינקת רבקה . Why does the Torah find it necessary to tell us [Breishit 24:59] וישלחו את רבקה אחתם ואת מניקתה . What is the chiddush here? After all it was not uncommon for an aristocratic family to employ a nurse for a child and to send this nurse wherever the child went. Furthermore, in Parshat Vayishlach [35:6-8], the Torah adds a sentence which seems unimportant, ותחת דבורה מינקת רבקה ותקבר מתחת לבית אל  - And Devorah the nurse of Rivka died near Beth El, and was buried under the tree, and it was called Alon Bachut [the tree of weeping] -  Is it so important that an old woman died and they named a tree after her?

The answer is found in Parshat Toldot. When Rivka sends Yaakov to Charan, she tells him [Bereishit 27:43-45]:  ''So now, my son, heed my voice and arise; flee to my brother Lavan, to Charan. And remain with him a short while until your brother's wrath subsides. Until your brother's anger against you subsides and he forgets what you have done to him; then I will send and bring you from there; why should I be bereaved of both of your on the same day?"

Rivka told Yaakov: ''When the time will come, I'll send someone to get you!''. Whom did she send? It was Devorah! Why her? Rivka was afraid that Yaakov would get too used to Padan Aram . Why send Devorah? Because Rivka knew what a great person Devorah was and what a great job she had done teaching and educating herself and others. When Devorah died, Yaakov was so shaken that he proclaimed a period of mourning. It was Devorah who had trained Rivka for being the mother of the covenant! It was Devorah who was sent to bring Yaakov back from Charan to Eretz Canaan. By adding the words וישלחו את רבקה ואת מניקתה , Hashem confirmed the greatness of Devorah, and her impact upon Rivka. And, by telling us about the death of Devorah and the mourning for her, the Torah confirmed: A great leader was lost.

Source: Mevaseret

Obama the anti-Israel President

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If You Lose, I Also Lose

Concept by Mordechai Becher    Illustration by Rafi Mollot

The Battle of the Stones:  If You Lose, I Also Lose

By: Rabbi YY Jacobson

The Shouters

The Yeshiva decided to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they lost race after race. They practiced for hours every day but never managed to come in any better than dead last.

The Rosh Yeshiva [the Yeshiva head] finally decided to send Yankel to spy on the Harvard team. So Yankel schlepped off to Cambridge and hid in the bullrushes of the Charles River, from where he carefully watched the Harvard team as they practiced.

Yankel returned to Yeshiva, and announced: "I have figured out their secret."

"What? Tell us," they all wanted to know.

"We should have eight guys rowing and only one guy shouting."

The Quarrel

The rabbis in the Talmud focus on an apparent grammatical inconsistency in the portion of Vayeitzei.

When Jacob journeys from Beer Sheba to Haran, stopping on the way to rest for the night, the Torah tells us, “He took from the stones of the place, arranged them around his head, and lay down to rest.”

But in the morning when he awakes, we read a slightly different story: “Jacob arose early in the morning, and took the stone he placed around his head and set it up as a pillar.”

First we read of “stones,” in the plural; then we read of “the stone,” in the singular. Which one was it? Did Jacob use a single stone or did he employ many stones?

A lovely Talmudic tradition, laden with profound symbolism, answers the question thus: Jacob indeed took several stones. The stones began quarreling, each one saying, “Upon me shall this righteous person rest his head.” So G-d combined them all into one stone, and the quarreling ceased. Hence, when Jacob awoke, we read, he “took the stone” in the singular, since all the stones became one.

What is the symbolism behind this imagery? What is the meaning of stones quarreling with each other and then reaching a state of peace by congealing into one?

One more obvious question: How did the merging of diverse stones into a single entity satisfy their complaint, “Upon me shall this righteous person rest his head?” Even after the stones congealed into a single large stone, the head of Jacob still lies only on one part of the stone. (Your mattress is made of one piece, yet your head can only lie on one particular space on your mattress). So why didn’t the other parts of the stone [Jacob’s “mattress”] still lament that Jacob’s head is not lying on them?

We Are One

The Lubavitcher Rebbe once explained it with moving simplicity and eloquence:

The fighting between the stones was not caused because each one wanted the tzaddik's [the righteous man's] head; it was because they were separate stones. When the stones become one, the fighting ceases, because when you feel one with the other, you don’t mind if the head of the righteous one rests upon him. His victory is your victory; his loss is your loss. because you are one.

The episode with the stones, then, reflects a profound spiritual truth about human relationships. Much conflict — in families, communities, synagogues, organizations, corporations, and movements — stem from everyone’s fear that someone else will end up with the “head,” and you will be “thrown under the bus.”

But we can view each other in two distinct ways: as “diverse stones” and as a “single stone.” Both are valid perspectives, fair interpretations of reality. The first is superficial; the second demands profounder reflection and sensitivity. Superficially, we are indeed separate. You are you; I am I. We are strangers. I want the head; you want the head. So we quarrel.

On a deeper level, though, we are one. The universe, humanity, the Jewish people — constitute a single organism. On this level, we are truly part of one essence. Then, I do not mind if you get the head, because you and I are one.

It is hard for many people to create room for another, and let them shine brightly. We are scared that they might “get the head” and we will end up with the leg. Some of us spend years to ensure that others don't succeed. They feel that their success necessitates the failure of others.

What is needed is a broadening of consciousness; a cleansing of perception, a gaze into the mystical interrelatedness of all of us. Then I will not only allow, but will celebrate, your emergence in full splendor. Your success will not hinder mine, because we are one. Instead of thinking how can I cut you down I ought to think: How can I help you reach your ultimate success? Different “stones” may need to have different positions, yet here is no room for abuse, manipulation, back-stabbing, mistreatment and exploitation, because we are one.

Jacob, the father of all Israel, who encompassed within himself the souls of all of his children, inspired this unity within the “stones” around him. Initially, the stones operated on a superficial level of consciousness, thus quarreling who will get to lie under Jacob’s head. But Jacob inspired in them a deeper consciousness, allowing them for that night to see themselves as a single stone, even while they were in different positions.

In our night of nights, we need Jacob’s who know how to inspire the stones around them with this state of consciousness. For me to win, I need you also to win. If you lose, I truly also lost.

A Tale of Three Matzahs

A story [related to me by my friend Dr. Yisroel Suskind]:

Rabbi Eliezer Zusha Portugal [1896-1982], the Skulener Rebbe, was a Chassidic master from a small town, Sculeni, in northeastern Romania. Toward the end of the Second World War, in March of 1945, he found himself along with other holocaust survivors and displaced persons, in the Russian-governed town of Czernovitz, Bukovina. [The Russian army liberated Bukovina in April 1944 and completed the expulsion of the Nazi’s from most of Eastern Europe by January 1945, at which time the Russians entered Budapest, Hungary.]

Passover, beginning that year on March 29th, would soon be upon them. Some Passover foodstuffs might well be provided by charitable organizations. Nonetheless, the Skulener Rebbe sought to obtain wheat that he could bake into properly-guarded and traditionally baked matzah. Despite the oppressive economic situation of the Jews, he was able to bake a limited number of these matzahs. He sent word to other Chassidic leaders in the area who would conduct larger Passover seders, offering each of them no more than three matzahs.

One week before Passover, Rabbi Moshe Hager, the son of the Seret-Vizhnitzer Rebbe, came for the matzahs that had been offered to his father, Rabbi Boruch Hager. After being handed the allotted 3 matzahs, he said to the Skulener Rebbe: “I know that you sent word that you could give only three matzahs, but nonetheless my father, the Seret-Vizhnitzer Rebbe, told me to tell you that he must have six matzahs”. The Skulener Rebbe was unhappy to part with this precious food that was so scarce and was in high demand by so many other Jews. But he felt that he had no choice but to honor the request, albeit reluctantly.

On the day before Passover, Rabbi Moshe Hager returned to the Skulener Rebbe. “What can I do for you?” asked the Skulener Rebbe. Rabbi Moshe answered, “I want to return three of the matzah’s to you”.

“I don’t understand”, replied the Skulener, ”I thought your father absolutely had to have six matzahs?”

“My father said to ask whether you had saved any of the matzah for yourself?”

Embarrassed, the Skulener Rebbe replied, “How could I, when so many others needed matza for Passover?”

“My father assumed that this would happen”, explained Rabbi Moshe. “That is why he requested an extra three matzahs to hold them for you.”

This is how you behave when you are “one stone.” This is what we call living a life of dignity, where you are really able to be there for another human being.

__________

To post a comment on this article, or to view the footnotes, please click here.

Superficial Honor

"Yaakov has taken everything that belongs to our father, and from what belongs to our father he has amassed all his wealth" [Vayeitze 31:1]

The following question was once posed to the Vilna Gaon: The Midrash Rabbah states in relation to the abovementioned verse:  "There is no honor except for [that accrued by] silver and gold".  Yet, in Shemos Rabbah [ch 38] it states: "There is no honor except for [that accrued by] Torah, as the verse states: "The wise inherit honor".  The question is, is it the Torah or one's wealth that brings a person honor?

Wherever we find the word kavod [honor] spelled without a vav, answered the Gaon, we are meant to apply Chazal's statement "There is no honor except for [that accrued by] silver and gold".  For that type of honor is superficial and false.

However, continued the Gaon, when kavod is spelled in its complete spelling - with a vav - Chazal's statement "There is no honor except for [that accrued by] the Torah" applies.  For the honor that comes from the Torah is genuine and full.

Source: Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein

Wake Up Calls......

.....What Must We Do?

by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

For the past few weeks I`ve been discussing the crises facing our people. I`ve been asked by many of our readers a question which should challenge all of us: "What are we to do?"

Before I offer specific answers however, I would like all our readers to fully understand the urgency of the moment so those who are ambivalent will also comprehend, respond, and thus secure blessing for all our people.

The crises that we are encountering today can be seen on a national and personal level - There is a man, a nation on the world scene, that openly declares its intention to orchestrate another Holocaust - Hashem Yeracheim - may G-d have mercy.. Ahmadinejad and his cohorts have amply demonstrated that they have the wherewithal to carry out this satanic plan. And should you argue that "he is just a mad man", and the people who are with him are equally mad, I agree, but mad men, mad people, must be taken seriously, for they are mad enough to implement their evil. I know - I experienced it first hand in Hitler's concentration camps.

As Jews, we must be keenly aware that there are no random happenings in our lives. Everything, but everything that befalls us are wake-up calls from Hashem. This is a difficult concept for our generation to accept. Our culture tends to look askance at those who propound such views as simplistic, if not unbalanced. Moreover, our society tends to neutralize all personal culpability and removes all sense of responsibility from our consciences. We are never at fault - there are always some mitigating circumstances for that which befalls us, be they societal, familial, and environmental or sheer bad luck, but one thing is certain, it`s never, but never our fault! We convince ourselves that "things happen simply because they happen". Sadly, this rationale has seeped into our Torah community as well. We too have been impacted, and too many of us have turned a deaf ear to the call of Hashem. Too many of us refuse to see and understand.

It is amazing how, despite all our advances, all our discoveries, despite all our discoveries, despite the passage of centuries, education and enlightenment, we have learned nothing. From the genesis of time to this very day, nothing has changed. Even as in days of yore, in the generation of Noah, when man refused to heed G-d`s call, so today, we turn a deaf ear to the countless messages that He sends us.

In vain does Hashem send us His wake-up calls...we do not respond, we are spiritually comatose. We convince ourselves that "things happen simply because they happen".... and even those among us who do listen too often fail to translate their awareness into action. Not in vain does the Torah teach us, "V`yadata Hayom" - and you shall know today, and you shall absorb it in your heart".

There is a small gap, only seven inches, between the head and the heart, but to close that gap is a herculean task. To have heart and mind act in consonance remains a formidable challenge for every generation. Allow me to illustrate: Very often, we intellectually understand that we should not lose our tempers; we should not smoke, etc.. But since our hearts fail to absorb this, we continue to indulge our anger and we continue to smoke. So it is that the Torah admonishes us to absorb in our hearts that which our minds understand.

The Urgency of the Moment - Sound The Alarm

Maimonides taught that, when suffering is visited upon us, we are commanded to cry out and awaken our people with the sound of the shofar. Everyone must be alerted to examine his or her life and commit to greater adherence to Torah and mitzvos. Maimonides warned that, if we regard the tragedies that befall us simply as "the way of the world" - natural happenings" we will be guilty of achzarius - "cruelty."

At first glance, it is difficult to understand why Maimonides would choose the term "cruelty" to describe those who view trials and tribulations as "natural happenings". Such people may be unthinking, apathetic, foolish, blind or obtuse, but why accuse them of cruelty?

The answer is simple. If we regard our pain and suffering as "mere coincidence," we will feel no motivation to examine our lives, abandon our old ways, and change. So yes, such an attitude is cruel, for it invites additional misfortune upon ourselves and others. Therefore, step number one is not only to awaken ourselves, but also alert our fellow Jews to the urgency of the moment and the dangers that loom ahead. And yes, it would be the height of cruelty to dismiss that which is happening in the world today as mere happenstance. Great Torah luminaries of past generations, such as the Chofetz Chaim and Rabbi Elchanan Wasserman, told us that we are entering the final stages of history - a period in time called "Ikvesa DiMeshicha" - when the footsteps of Messiah can be heard. This period will be accompanied by terrible tribulations, but it is in our hands to overcome them.

Our Torah foretells four exiles through which our people would suffer: Egypt, Babylonia - Persian-Mede Empires, Greece, and Rome - (the exile in which we presently find ourselves, for it was the Romans who exiled us when they destroyed the Second Temple).

In Pirkei d`Rabbi Eliezer, an early Midrashic work, it is written that, before the coming of Messiah, we will have to contend with a fifth source of tribulation that will come from Yishmael - the Arabs, who will inflict terrible suffering on the world and on our people.

This teaching is reaffirmed by Rabbi Chaim Vital, the illustrious disciple of the Arizal, who wrote that, before the final curtain falls upon the stage of history, Yishmael will sadistically torture our people in ways the world has never before seen.

One need not have great powers of discernment to recognize the painful veracity of these predictions. Yishmael does not merely kill - he slaughters. Remember Daniel Pearl, who bound and forced to his knees proclaimed to the world, "I am a Jew," only to be decapitated. And then, remember our IDF soldier who was kidnaped and carried off to Ramallah. They literally chopped him into pieces and held up their bloody hands in a gesture of victory. They threw his remains out of the window to the frenzied waiting mob which danced upon his body parts until they were ground into pulp. What sort of a nation can do that?

We are the generation that has been destined to witness the fulfillment of the prophecy given to Hagar (Genesis 16:11-13). "Behold, you will conceive and give birth to a son, and you shall name him Ishmael.... and he shall be a wild ass of a man, with his hand against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and all over his brethren shall he dwell...."

The long arm of Ishmael's terror has indeed reached every part of the world.

Their barbarism continues unabated - Suicide bombings, decapitations, senseless and brutal acts of terror in face of which the world is silent.. And as always, when Jewish blood is spilled, the nations of the world look away. But we dare not! We must call out to our Heavenly Father, for only He can help us.

But again, what exactly does that mean? How do we navigate these stormy seas?

[To be Continued]