What Lies Behind Unjustified Hatred?

by Rabbi David Hanania Pinto

On Tisha B'Av night we say in the Kinnot, "By our necks we are pursued, because we pursued purposeless hatred, O woe! What has befallen us". The first principle that we must be aware of, says Rabbi Elimelech Biderman, is that we think we are sitting on the ground because of unjustified hatred, and with this, the subject is closed. But this is not the case! We must know that right beneath where we are sitting, something is buried! Something is concealed underneath the unjustified hatred! If we would pay attention to that buried matter, we would not come to unjustified hatred.

Under all "unjustified hatred" is buried "a lack of faith"!

Would we have faith, we would save ourselves hatred, jealousy, argument and lashon hara!

The Vilna Gaon explains the seemingly hard-to-understand expression 'unjustified hatred'. Why indeed do we call it 'unjustified hatred'? The hatred is not unjustified! If my friend drove me crazy, this is called 'unjustified hatred'? Do I really hate him for no reason?

Says the Vilna Gaon, Hashem tells us that this kind of hatred is unjustified. Hashem, as if, is telling me, do you think that he drove you crazy? It is not him, it is I! This person, he is only a messenger! Had he not done to you what he did, I would have sent a different messenger to do exactly the same thing, for everything that happens is predetermined by Me!

If you hate him because you think that it is he who hurt you, this points to a lack of faith in Hashem.

This is the meaning of what we said above, that underneath all 'unjustified hatred' lies 'a lack of faith'.

It is told that someone dreamt that a certain friend was speaking lashon hara about him. These thoughts accompanied him for a long time. One day he met that friend and asked him:

"Why are you saying evil things about me?"

"Far be it from me to do such a thing," the friend answered in astonishment. "I never spoke lashon hara about you. You must have dreamt it."

The next day he again met his friend and once again asked him, "Why are you speaking lashon hara about me?"

Yet his friend once again repeated the same answer, "You are simply dreaming."

When this happened for the third time and his friend tried to explain to him that it was all a figment of his imagination and a dream, he replied, "It may have indeed been a dream, but why are you talking about me?"…

This is exactly how we wander around in This World. If any of us would be asked, "Do you believe in Hashem?" we will no doubt answer, "Of course, certainly. What's the question?" "Do you believe that everything is ordained by Heaven?" "Of course, certainly. Everything is from above!"

Nice words.

But if indeed everything is from above, why are you furious with your neighbor? If you believe with perfect faith that everything is destined by Hashem, why are you quarreling with your friend? Why is your mouth constantly full of complaints against all types of people who did to you, took from you, harmed you?

Finding a Lost Object

This really works, because I just did it yesterday and this morning I found the thing I had been looking for.

Say this short prayer [to Hashem] - you can say it in Hebrew or in English

אמר רבי בנימין, הכל בחזקת סומין, עד שהקדוש ברוך הוא מאיר את עיניהם. מן הכא, "ויפקח אלוקים את עיניה ותרא באר מים, ותלך ותמלא את החמת". ן אלקא דמאיר ענני, אלקא דמאיר ענני, אלקא דמאיר ענני. ן בזכות הצדקה שאני נודב לכבוד התנא רבי מאיר בעל הנס, זכותו יגן עלינו, אמצא את אבידתי.ן 

To translate: Rabbi Binyamin said: All are in the presumed status of blind people, until The Holy One, Blessed Be He, enlightens their eyes. {Bereishit 21:19}, "And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink." {The concept is that the well was always there, but Hagar did not see it. Only after praying did G-d open her eyes and she saw what was already there.}

Then give a small amount of tzedaka [charity] to the Meir Baal HaNess charity: click here to donate

If you’re facing a specific hardship: 

Say three times: “Eloka D’Meir Aneini” [God of Meir, answer me]

Then donate some charity to the poor of Israel. 

For more information on Rabbi Meir Ba'al HaNess click here

Causing Others to Suffer has Consequences

Art Gabriele Scholl

''Yaakov was no longer able to see." [Vayechi 48:10]

Chazal tell us various reasons why Yitzchok became blind. but why did Yaakov become blind?

Rav Shlomo Zalman Zelaznik Ztz"l. the Rosh Yeshiva of Eitz Chaim. explained with the principle that if someone suffers on your account, you are punished, even if you have done nothing wrong. In Yaakov's case we find two people whose eyes suffered on account of him. The first was Yitzchok. who Chazal say became blind so that Yaakov would be able to fool him and take the blessings. The second is Leah. whose eyes were swollen because she was destined to marry Eisav. while Rochel was supposed to marry Yaakov.

 "Either of these two occurrences," says Rav Zelaznik, "were enough cause to warrant Yaakov losing his eyesight despite his complete innocence of any wrongdoing. If such is the Midas HaDin when we are completely innocent of any wrongdoing, certainly, if we actually play a part in the suffering of another person, we are in huge trouble."

Source: Revach.net

The Essence of Tisha B'Av

This is a couple of years old, but the message is clear.

Tisha B'Av, what is the mourning all about?  Rabbi Mendel Kessin

The Privilege of Hearing Criticism

Excerpt from an essay on Parshas Matos by Rabbi Y. Y. Jacobson

To read the full essay click here

Rabbi Yitzchak Meir (Reb Itche Meir) Alter of Gur (1799-1866), a small town not far from Warsaw (known today as Gora Kalwaria), was the brother-in-law and foremost student of the intensely brilliant Kotzker Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Morgenstern (1787-1859). He was known as the “Chidushei HaRim,” after the title of his Talmudic and Chassidic works. Following the passing of his own master, he founded a Chassidic dynasty, becoming (in 1860) the first Rebbe of Ger. He became an influential figure on the landscape of Polish Jewry and a greatly respected spiritual leader. Reb Itche Meir suffered greatly in his life, seeing 12 of his 13 children pass before him.

Since some of his grandchildren had been left as young orphans, he ended up raising his grandson, the young Yehuda Aryeh Leib (1847-1905), who would eventually succeed his grandfather as the second Gerrer Rebbe while still a young man of age 22. The Sefas Emes, as he is known, became one of the most influential spiritual leaders of Polish Jewry. His brilliant five-part Chassidic homilies on the Torah that gave him his name, and his many volumes of commentary on the Talmud, have transformed him into one of the great Talmudic and Chassidic giants of the 19th century.

When he was still just a boy, he would often stay up late in the night studying Torah. At times, he stayed up almost the entire night immersed in Torah study with a learning partner.

And so it happened once, that at one such occasion, the Sefas Emes after staying up all night, fell asleep right before morning prayers and came late to the service. His grandfather, who raised him as his own child, noted the time his grandson had arrived to synagogue. After the prayers, the Gerer Rebbe, the Chidushei Harim, approached his grandson and rebuked him for sleeping in. He explained to him at length how the discipline to awake in the morning is crucial to human development; how allowing oneself to indulge in sleep numbs one’s spiritual growth and inhibits growth; how after sleeping a full night, a Jew ought to jump out of bed in the morning with passion and alacrity, with the joy of knowing that now he can approach G-d in prayer and study; how wasting one’s life in bed is a tragedy.

The Sefas Emes, who was a young boy at the time, kept quiet. He just listened to his grandfather rebuking him without offering the obvious excuse that he was up all night learning Torah. His study partner, who was up with him and knew what had happened, approached the young Yehuda Aryeh Leib and asked, "Why didn't you just tell your grandfather you were up all night studying?”

The young Sefas Emes answered his friend: "To hear criticism from my saintly Zeide is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. There was no way I was going to forfeit that privilege by offering justifications for my behavior!”

Mashiach's Arrival: How Do We Know

Rabbi Shimon Kessin, renowned speaker from NY gave this breathtaking shiur at KSY, Kehillas Shivtei Yeshurun, in Ramat Beit Shemesh, Israel in 2013.

You will be "blown away" by the depth of insights that Rabbi Kessen shares with us and you will totally change your perspective on what we should pray for on Tisha B'Av. 

Rabbi Kessen teaches that "the Beis HaMikdosh, the resting place of the Shechina (G-D's presence in the world) was NOT destroyed"! "Mashiach's arrival; Is it soon? How do we know?"

2020

Art: Mike Worrall

"A king was informed by his chief minister that there had been blight on the crops that year. They were affected so greatly that anyone eating the grain would become insane. "But" said the minister, "there is no need for us to worry. I have set aside enough grain from last year's harvest for the both of us that will last until the harvest of the following year."

The king shook his head. "No," he said. "I will not allow myself any privileges other than those shared by my subjects.  "We shall eat of the same grain," the king continued, "and we shall both go insane together with the rest of the population. But here is what we shall do. You and I will mark our foreheads with an indelible imprint, so that when we go insane, I will look at you and you will look at me and we will know we are insane."

[Rebbe Nachman of Breslov]

Something to Think About