by Rabbi David Hanania Pinto
On Tisha B'Av night we say in the Kinnot, "By our necks we are pursued, because we pursued purposeless hatred, O woe! What has befallen us". The first principle that we must be aware of, says Rabbi Elimelech Biderman, is that we think we are sitting on the ground because of unjustified hatred, and with this, the subject is closed. But this is not the case! We must know that right beneath where we are sitting, something is buried! Something is concealed underneath the unjustified hatred! If we would pay attention to that buried matter, we would not come to unjustified hatred.
Under all "unjustified hatred" is buried "a lack of faith"!
Would we have faith, we would save ourselves hatred, jealousy, argument and lashon hara!
The Vilna Gaon explains the seemingly hard-to-understand expression 'unjustified hatred'. Why indeed do we call it 'unjustified hatred'? The hatred is not unjustified! If my friend drove me crazy, this is called 'unjustified hatred'? Do I really hate him for no reason?
Says the Vilna Gaon, Hashem tells us that this kind of hatred is unjustified. Hashem, as if, is telling me, do you think that he drove you crazy? It is not him, it is I! This person, he is only a messenger! Had he not done to you what he did, I would have sent a different messenger to do exactly the same thing, for everything that happens is predetermined by Me!
If you hate him because you think that it is he who hurt you, this points to a lack of faith in Hashem.
This is the meaning of what we said above, that underneath all 'unjustified hatred' lies 'a lack of faith'.
It is told that someone dreamt that a certain friend was speaking lashon hara about him. These thoughts accompanied him for a long time. One day he met that friend and asked him:
"Why are you saying evil things about me?"
"Far be it from me to do such a thing," the friend answered in astonishment. "I never spoke lashon hara about you. You must have dreamt it."
The next day he again met his friend and once again asked him, "Why are you speaking lashon hara about me?"
Yet his friend once again repeated the same answer, "You are simply dreaming."
When this happened for the third time and his friend tried to explain to him that it was all a figment of his imagination and a dream, he replied, "It may have indeed been a dream, but why are you talking about me?"…
This is exactly how we wander around in This World. If any of us would be asked, "Do you believe in Hashem?" we will no doubt answer, "Of course, certainly. What's the question?" "Do you believe that everything is ordained by Heaven?" "Of course, certainly. Everything is from above!"
Nice words.
But if indeed everything is from above, why are you furious with your neighbor? If you believe with perfect faith that everything is destined by Hashem, why are you quarreling with your friend? Why is your mouth constantly full of complaints against all types of people who did to you, took from you, harmed you?
3 comments:
But if indeed everything is from above, if I speak with unjustified hatred, who is doing this speaking?
Yes you are doing the speaking, and so Hashem will put you in places where your unjustified hatred can be utilized to fix others. Even though you are the one speaking, you still have free will and the option of not speaking, you have chosen to speak up and reveal this hatred.
Let's say someone is walking down a street and an ''unknown'' person walks by him and punches him in the head. That punch in the head indirectly came from Hashem. Hashem orchestrated things so the victim received a hit to the head. And whilst the person who did the hitting should be punished, ultimately the one who received the hit needed to receive it.
Yes we sympathise with the victim, just as we sympathise with anyone who is on the receiving end of any bad event, but ultimately Hashem gives us all lessons and illnesses, inconsiderate neighbours, car accidents, etc etc. in order to teach us or extract money from us as a tikkun for something we have done, or need to learn.
Anything or anyone who causes you suffering is sent from Hashem.
If you are the one who is causing someone else's suffering, then you are just the messenger, even if you believe it's from ''you'' ultimately Hashem has put ''you'' around people who need to be affected by your behaviour.
Once you have mastered the understanding that everything ultimately comes from Hashem, it will be easier to get over the ''unjustified hatred''.
Instead of blaming the messenger, you will realize that Hashem wanted you to experience this situation and learn from it. You can then move on from this person as they have brought you to the place [or mindset] where Hashem wanted you to be.
We are given many tests in life. Once we have mastered a specific test, we will again be given that same test years later, just to see how we have shaped up. Life is a test, the way you handle it is entirely in your own hands. You have a personal choice as to whether you allow yourself to be eaten up by hatred, or whether you accept that everything ultimately comes from Hashem, even this person who is causing you to feel such hatred.
To Nonee: I suggest you go here https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/3909393/jewish/Free-Will.htm
and read about a person's free will as opposed to God's Will.
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