Praying at the Kever of a Tzaddik

Art: SRG

by Rabbi Benjy Simons

In Parshat Shelach, the incident of the spies is told over in great length, and we have the first historical record of the concept of praying by a grave site. Rashi mentions that Calev who was the representative of the Tribe of Yehuda goes to Chevron to pray by the graves of the Patriarchs, which later became included in the tribal portion of Yehuda. He was concerned that he may be enticed by his colleagues who wished to disparage the Land of Israel, and unlike Yehoshua who received a name change and specific prayers from Moshe, Calev needed to draw down his own blessings for strength and fortitude (see Sotah 34b). 

While the Halachic commentators debate what exactly is permissible when interceding with those who have passed on, the Gemara (Ta’anis 16a) records the custom to go out on fast days to (Jewish) cemeteries and have those who have passed on to pray on our behalf. The Midrash (Sefer HaYashar Vayeishev Ch. 8) also records that Yosef prayed by his mother Rachel’s tomb when being brought down to Egypt in chains and that Ya’akov himself buried Rachel on the road to Bethlehem to enable her to pray on behalf of her children who would go into exile after the destruction of the First Temple (see Rashi to Bereishis 48:7). The Arizal writes that there exists a special energy at the grave of a Tzaddik and the Chasam Sofer equates the sanctity of a Kever with that of a Shule. 

The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (128:13) writes in the context of the custom of visiting a cemetery on Erev Rosh Hashanah, that it is important that we not direct our prayers to the deceased, but rather may it be in their merit that we receive blessings and success. He writes that were one to pray to the deceased directly, one may be in violation of the prohibition of ‘inquiring of the dead’, and perhaps connected to why we do not know were Moshe is buried today, due to the concern that it would become a shrine and potentially likened to necromancy. 

The Zohar (Vayikra 70b) writes that when the world needs mercy and we are dwelling in pain, we go and notify those sleeping in Chevron and Hashem will do their desire and have mercy on the world. May we merit that all our prayers are answered and those who have passed on intercede on our behalf.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe would often answer requests by saying that he would pray for the person at the grave of his father-in-law, the previous Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak.

The following is extracted from "Not Just Stories" by Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski MD

Published by Shaar Press

Every person has a direct line with G-d, and we are not permitted to pray to intermediaries. Indeed, the propriety of prayers where we appear to be asking for blessings from angels or for their intervention on our behalf, is the subject of debate, and must be interpreted in such a way that does not violate our basic belief that we relate only to G-d as the One from Whom everything emanates.

Yes, there is also the concept of faith in a tzaddik, which is derived from the verse in Exodus [14:31] "They had faith in G-d and in Moses, His servant". The sages derived from this verse that believing in the leader of Israel is equivalent to believing in the Creator [Mechilta]. In addition, the Talmud states that if there is a sick person in one's household, let him go to a chacham [a wise man] to pray for his recovery [Bava Basra 116a]. Inasmuch as everyone has a direct contact with G-d and we do not work through intermediaries, why is the prayer of a tzaddik more potent that one's own prayer?

There are several ways in which we can understand the concept of faith in a tzaddik. First and foremost is that the opinion of a wise man, a tzaddik, as a Torah authority, must be accepted and followed even if we are in disagreement with it [Sifri, Deut 17:11].

There is also a concept of receiving a blessing from a tzaddik and this has its basis in a statement from G-d to Abraham "And you will be a blessing" [Gen 12:2] which the Midrash interprets to mean that G-d gave Abraham the power to bless people, and that gift has been given to other tzaddikim as well. Nevertheless, a person must understand that even though the tzaddik conveys the blessing, the origin of the blessing is G-d.

A woman once came to Rabbi Mordechai of Chernobel, pleading for a blessing to have a child. To the amazement of the bystanders, the Rabbi, who was exceptionally kind and benevolent, said brusquely to her "I'm sorry, I cannot help you". The woman left the room tearful and broken hearted.

Noting the bewilderment of his chassidim, Rabbi Mordechai said "Just wait a few moments, then go find the woman and bring her back here." The chassidim did as they were told and when the woman came back, the Rabbi asked her "What did you do when you left here?"

The woman replied "I turned my eyes to Heaven and I said "Dear G-d, the Rabbi refuses to help me. Now You are my only hope. Bless me that I have a child."

Rabbi Mordechai said to the chassidim "This woman believed that I had magical powers, and she was trusting in me rather than in G-d. When I refused her request, she placed her trust in G-d where it belongs. She will now be blessed with a child."

The primary function of a tzaddik is to assist people in the proper service of G-d, to help them recognize their character defects and show them how to do teshuvah.

The power of a tzaddik is in his strong belief in G-d, and anyone who has that strong a belief can bring about similar results. When the tzaddik prays for a sick person, for example, and says that G-d is the healer of the sick, his belief is so strong that it actually brings down the Divine healing upon the person. In fact, said Rabbi Mordechai, the prime reason for having a relationship with a tzaddik is to learn how to perfect one's belief in G-d.