Psychics, Telepathy, Kabbalah and Judaism

What is Practical Kabbalah?

by Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh Inner.org

There are two basic types of Kabbalah:

Kabbalah iyunit, "contemplative Kabbalah," seeks to explain the nature of God and the nature of existence via intellectual and meditative techniques.

Kabbalah ma'asit, "practical Kabbalah," seeks to alter the nature of existence and change the course of events via ritualistic techniques. Sometimes practical Kabbalah involves summoning spiritual forces, such as angels, and commanding them or causing them to swear to perform a certain act or function in reality.

Four hundred years ago, the Arizal taught that in our generations we should not be involved with, or attempt to use the methods of practical Kabbalah. As the Holy Temple is not standing, and we do not possess the ashes of the Red Heifer, we are unable to purify our bodies. The practice of practical Kabbalah by a person with an impure body is very detrimental and perversive. Thus the Arizal totally forbade the pursuit of this realm of Kabbalah.

What About People Who Claim to have Spiritual or Healing Powers?

by Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh  Inner.org

In general, if the "healer" is not a true tzaddik ["righteous one"], such as a Rebbe, the healing is always a mixture of good and evil. It is certainly possible for a person's soul to possess psychic powers. However, with the exception of a very few true tzaddikim, psychic powers are a mixture of light and darkness, at best. Often, they are completely negative. When good and bad or truth and falsehood are mixed together, the final result is usually negative. Thus if there is a mixture of good and evil, it is better to stay clear of these practices.

There were great tzaddikim, such as the Rebbes of Kamarno, that possessed psychic powers. They related that when they arrived at a certain maturity of understanding, through being involved in the truth of the Torah and Kabbalah, they understood that these psychic powers were detrimental to their own progress in the true service of God. Even though these powers were purely good, they asked God to remove them as they felt that these powers were not helping them or the world in the true service of God. They desired to serve God purely through the study and teaching of the Torah and the performance of mitzvot.

Spiritual Powers of the Non-Righteous

Although we have stated that telepathy is actually a Divine power of the righteous, we sometimes find that “normal” people profess to have similar spiritual powers. It should be clear that ninety-nine percent of these so-called “healers” and spiritual diviners etc. are nothing more than charlatans. This is true whether they deceive the public consciously or whether they themselves truly believe that they possess such powers. The whole of the book of Tanya is intended to save people from self-deception. However, there is still a minimal percentage of people who truly are capable of such divination even without having purified themselves in holiness.

The powers these people possess do not come from garbing the higher powers of the soul with the garment of thought, rather they have holes in their garments, a type of nakedness through which the light from the upper powers of the soul are manifest.

Before the primordial sin, Adam and Eve were both naked and were not embarrassed of their nakedness, however the rectification after the sin was that they must wear garments. Our sages teach us that the word levush, “clothing,” is a permutation of lo bosh, “unembarrassed,” meaning negation of the negative embarrassment that resulted from the sin.

Garments are of utmost importance, so much so that the word tikkun, “rectification,” is a synonym for levush. Through their prayers, the tzaddikim raise and purify their garments, especially the garment of thought. The pure and refined garments then rise to clothe the inner powers of the soul, which gives the tzaddik the power to act spiritual actions that normal people are unable to carry out. However, there are people whose natural garments are not refined, rather they have “holes” in their garments. They are born with a defect, just as a person may be born lacking a certain limb, God forbid. There are some limbs that are more crucial than others and a person is able to survive without that limb, contrarily, he may even develop sharper senses in another limb to overcome his disability. There are those who are born with the ability to solve dreams, for instance, with holes in the garments such that the inner light is revealed, giving him the power to act. However these are the unrectified lights of chaos and do not result from the person’s having purified his garments, therefore there is always a certain extent of self-conceit in such people.

Read the entire article on Kabbalah and Telepathy at this link: TorahScience

Paranormal Powers

The following is a reply by Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh to someone who has paranormal powers:

The most important principle to remember when considering paranormal phenomena is the one anchored in the injunction: “Be simple [tamim] with GOD your God.” This injunction appears within the context of a constellation of prohibitions pertaining to witchcraft and sorcery. Since these practices were widespread among the pagan peoples who occupied the land of Canaan at the time of Israel’s conquest, they presented one of the first obstacles to rectified service of God. The Divine antidote to these insidious influences is identified in the verse as the attribute of temimut, simplicity or integrity.

That said, the next thing to understand is that the Torah’s abhorrence of occult practice does not imply that a person with unusual sensitivities to spiritual experiences, like yourself, need ignore, suppress, or devalue them. They certainly possess a place, even a prominent one, when incorporated within a Torah-oriented way of life .

It is indicated in various Jewish teachings, that all living beings are endowed with a spiritual consciousness. In particular, we find in the mystical collection of verses called Perek Shirah, the Chapter of Song, that every creature is gifted with a unique song of praise to God .

Although it may not appear this way to most people, it is only by virtue of a person’s choice that the spiritual side of his or her being remains hidden from awareness. At every moment we decide whether it is the external aspect of creation with which we wish to identify—its (apparently) autonomous material character—or whether it is its deep spiritual dimension that we wish to penetrate.

One of the most basic teachings of the Ba’al Shem Tov, the eighteenth century founder of the Chassidic movement, asserts that as we move through life, we are constantly being addressed by God through both our normal and paranormal senses . Every experience in life has some providential significance of which, unfortunately, we cannot always be certain without the benefit of direct prophecy. Although this would appear to leave us in a paradoxical situation, experiencing a constant flow of Divine communication which we are not always able to decipher, Kabbalah teaches us that we can always benefit from these signals by adopting a dual strategy: the innocent path of simplicity together with the focused approach of rational analysis .

These two somewhat antithetical approaches to paranormal experiences work together as follows:

Whenever subliminal vibrations emanating from the created realm amplify themselves into our consciousness, we must try as hard as possible to accept the vibes with equanimity without becoming overly obsessed or concerned with the experience. In true simplicity we should remember that all experiences ultimately emanate from God and thus are equally “normal.” The danger lies in entertaining the possibility that such an experience emanates from some source other than God.

Having accepted the experience with all simplicity, we can then try to analyze the symbols that appear in the experience with the rational tools that are available to us and to attempt to relate the experience to recognized Torah principles.

The very association in your mind with sorcery etc. can totally pollute that which may otherwise be a potentially enriching spiritual experience, for the essence of the occult is denial of God’s absolute unity and His mastery over creation . Thus practically speaking, the permissability of opening yourself up to the sensations you describe depends upon the degree to which you can rid yourself of such associations.

To some extent, the simple indulgence of the ego in such an experience can be just as threatening as the introduction of occult associations. You should never consciously intend to bring on such an experience for the sake of the gratification it provides you or the feeling of power it gives you. Doing so is a guarantee to either losing your sensitivity altogether or to summoning all kinds of false experiences which are liable to affect a destructive impact upon yourself and upon others .

So don’t attempt to seek out paranormal stimulation. When it presents itself, take it lightly, and try not to exaggerate its significance. In short, be simple with God and you will find joy in having creation sing to you even when the words of the song are unclear.

At the same time, realize that man’s Divine gift of rational analysis is intended to help human beings digest experience so that the moral good inherent therein can be gleaned and the evil discarded. The process of rational analysis, clarifying reality through the prism of our consciousness, is called birur, and it occupies a central place in the Kabbalistic scheme of redemption. The Torah is our representation of the Divine standards meant to be applied in the pursuit of such clarity. Through the process of birur we gradually strip away the layers of illusion that envelope reality and lay bare the Divine essence inherent in all things.

Hence it is incumbent upon you to try to “clarify” your intuitive experience as best you can, using the language and thought patterns of the Torah as a guide.

The teachings of the Torah encompass law (mitzvot and halachah) as well as prayer, ethics, Kabbalah, Chassidut etc. The phenomena that you experience lend themselves in particular to the language and teachings of Kabbalah. Chassidic teachings, which enclothe Kabbalah in an accessible, conceptual form, can surely help you place your experiences into a proper Jewish perspective. Even familiarizing yourself with stories about the great Chassidic masters (especially the Ba’al Shem Tov) will demonstrate to you how relevant and prevalent experiences such as those you describe were to Jews who lived less than three hundred years ago. The stories and parables told by the great Chassidic Master Rabbi Nachman of Breslav are another rich resource for you to explore in pursuing an alternative spiritual language with which to analyze your experience.

The Divided Heart

Rebbe Nachman taught: A person's heart contains two inclinations: one towards good and one towards evil. This causes division within the heart. An example of this division is when a person feels he "knows" that G-d is always present, yet is lax in using his prayer time to really speak to G-d. If he truly felt G-d's presence, he would certainly pray with all his might. The fact that he is lax and does not exert himself to pray with full concentration shows that part of him "does not acknowledge" G-d's presence. This is the result of a "divided" heart. [Likutey Moharan I 62:2]

Strife, simply defined, is a lack of accord between two parties. Two countries might argue between themselves, so might two families or two individuals. The strife that exists within one's own heart is the result of a schism between one's right side, which strives for spirituality, and one's left side, which pulls towards materialism. Someone who has not yet succeeded in fully purifying his heart will always feel this "inner strife". Questions of faith, and confusion concerning both one's immediate and longterm goals are all symptomatic of a divided heart.

Rebbe Nachman explained it this way: The world is full of strife. There are wars between the great world powers, there are conflicts within different localities, there are feuds among families, there is discord between neighbours and friction within a household, between man and wife, between parents and children... Life is short; people die a little each day. The day that just passed will never return, but people still fight, and never once do they remember their ultimate goal in life.

The characteristic traits of each nation are reflected in individuals. Some nations are known for their anger, for example, and others for bloodthirstiness. Each nation has its own particular trait. In the same way, these traits are to be found in each household. Even someone who wishes to live in peace can be dragged into conflict by virtue of his living among conflicting parties.

Man is a microcosm, holding within himself the world and everything in it. A man living alone can become insane, because his personality is forced to focus upon the "warring nations" within him, and he finds no peace. When Moshiach comes, all these wars will be abolished.

If someone's heart is divided, what can he do to "pull himself together"?

Rebbe Nachman placed much emphasis on the study of the Codes of Law. The Codes abound with discussions, sometimes quite heated, between the various Sages regarding what is permitted and what is forbidden, what is pure and what is impure, and so on. One's goal during one's studies should be to clarify the opinions of the Sages, bringing "peace" to the opposing views and coming to a clear conclusion. This method of study - examining opposing views and arriving at a peaceful solution - can have a deep and lasting effect upon a person's character. Employing one's Binah (understanding) to resolve a conflict of Torah Law can bring "peace" to one's divided heart, the heart divided between two inclinations.

Though this method of study is an advanced one and will certainly pose difficulties for those who are unfamiliar with the system of Talmudic research, Rebbe Nachman's directive to study the Codes in order to achieve lasting benefit is a universal one. In several lessons, he speaks about the importance of studying and knowing the Codes in order to proceed on the proper path in life.

Rebbe Nachman taught further: The good inclination is known as "a poor but wise child" [Ecclesiasties 4:13] - poor because few listen to him, wise because he leads one on the path of life. The evil inclination is compared to "an old foolish king" - people tend to listen because he is king, but his advice is foolish. These two inclinations represent the kingdom of holiness and the kingdom of impurity. One who studies Torah with effort strengthens the kingdom of holiness. [Likutey Moharan I 1:2]

The Arizal used to expend tremendous effort in his studies of the Codes. He exerted himself so much that it caused him to break out in a sweat.

Rebbe Nachman teaches that advice which comes from improper sources overwhelms the heart and putrefies it. The heart is then compared to an outhouse; the advice of that heart is malodorous. Rabbi Chaim Vital thus writes that the reason the Arizal worked himself into a sweat when he studied was in order to break the illusory powers of the evil inclination that envelop the heart. We know that excess waste products pollute one's system and we know that sweating is one way of purifying the body of this waste. The 613 commandments of the Torah are called the "613 precepts of advice". This type of advice also brings harmony to the heart, clearing it of division.

Source: "Anatomy of the Soul" by Chaim Kramer

A Rebbe Nachman Miracle in Our Days

This is a true story, involving some friends of mine, and it's happening right now.  [told with the permission of the couple]

Last Rosh Hashanah, Lizzi travelled to Uman to pray at the kever of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, to help her find her beshert [loosely translated as soul mate].  Lizzi knew the time was right, and she also knew she needed some help from Shamayim.  Lizzi prayed very hard that Rosh Hashanah, and then travelled back to Israel.

A few weeks later, Lizzi's aunt Sonni who lives in the UK, had a dream.  In the dream she saw her niece Lizzi, standing under a chuppah.  She also recognised the choson [groom] - he was the son of her friend Susie, who lives in Melbourne Australia.

Sonny rang Susie to tell her about the dream.  Susie immediately relayed this incredible dream to her son Moishe, who was a bit skeptical, but eventually agreed to ''meet'' Lizzi on Facebook.

Lizzi and Moishe became Facebook Friends, and almost instantly they knew they had met their perfect match.

After only a couple of weeks, Moishe got on a plane and flew to Israel, met Lizzi, and within a few days they were engaged.  

Im yirtze Hashem, they will be married next week, in Israel.

Wedding photos will be posted then.    

This is why people go to pray at the graves of tzadikim.   

Lizzi lighting candles for Rebbe Nachman, as she does every night

Trees and the Hidden Channels

 from the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov; translated by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan


Many types of fruit do not grow in some lands, only because people do not understand.

The world has a foundation stone. Channels emanate from this stone, reaching every land. The Midrash teaches us that the wise King Solomon knew the details of these channels and was therefore able to plant all types of trees.

If people knew the exact location of these subterranean channels, they would be able to grow fruit trees even in these lands. They could grow many that never grow there now.

Each channel has the power to stimulate a particular species. Even if a particular channel does not pass through one land, all channels are intertwined and flow into each other. If one knew the exact place, he could plant any type of tree.

If one knew the location of all channels, he could dig a well and know where to plant trees around it. He could then make any type of tree grow.

The foundation stone of the world constantly rises and descends. If one knows its position, then he knows what to plant at a particular time.

All these things are concealed from the world for some things may not be revealed.

People say that the world is gaining knowledge, but earlier generations made the primary discoveries, and this took the greatest wisdom.

Later generations make discoveries only because earlier ones prepared the way. One generation makes the basic discoveries, and later generations apply them, but the latter contribution is really the smaller.

The Talmud says "If you would not have removed the piece of clay, you would not have found the jewel under it."

There are things that may not be revealed, for if they were revealed, later generations would make an idol of them. There is knowledge that may not be revealed, for later generations would use the basic knowledge and continually add to it, often irresponsibly. They could then develop concepts leading to cataclysmic discoveries.

It is written [Lev. 19:23] "When you enter your land and plant any tree... three years shall its fruit be forbidden to you". The Zohar teaches us that the evil forces of klipah dwell in trees duirng these first three years.

Earlier generations misunderstood this and thought that they were obliged to worship a tree during the three years that it was under the influence of the klipah. According to their error it was a logical necessity to make such a tree an object of worship.

Angelic Healing

Image: Dusteramaranth

Every aspect of creation is governed by an angel. Even trees and plants (especially those with healing properties) have angels supervising their growth. As the Sages said [Bereishit Rabbah 10:6] "There is nothing below, not even a common herb, which does not have an angel on high that strikes it and tells it to grow". Each of these angels receives its life force from the particular Utterance which is the source of its creation. It then transmits a measured amount of this life force to its particular charge.

This power of the angels to receive and transmit life force is referred to as the power of the "hands". (The Hebrew word for power is ko'ach, numerically equal to 28, the number of bones contained in the fingers of both hands). With its "right hand" an angel receives life force. With its "left hand", it dispenses the exact amount needed to its charge below. This is the meaning of the Sages' statement: "he strikes it and tells it to grow". "Striking" is done with the angel's left hand (for the left side represents Gevurah, judgment).

The Torah tells us [Proverbs 4:20-22] "My son attend to my words, incline your ear to my utterances.... For they are life to those who find them and healing to all their flesh." We learn from this that all healing flows from G-d, through His Torah. The Torah is the source of the [healing] power of the angels, who in turn transmit it to all the various herbs in their charge. This power is manifest when one accepts the Torah and has faith in the Sages who reveal it, for the Torah was given over to the Sages, and one who deviates from their teachings is called "he who causes a breach in the wall [of faith].

This is the meaning of the injunction [Deut 17:11] "Do not deviate, neither to the right nor to the left, from what they teach you". If you deviate to the right (tending towards unnecessary zealousness), your angel's "right hand" (ability to receive from its corresponding archangel and Utterance) will be hindered. If you deviate to the left (by transgressing the Torah), the angel's "left hand" (ability to transmit) will be hindered.

Of course, the removal of your angel's hands means that you cannot receive your healing, for without an angel to bestow the life force upon it, the herb upon which your healing depends loses its power to heal. Thus, the degree to which a person is attached to Torah determines the degree to which he is able to be healed.

Source: "Anatomy of the Soul" - Chaim Kramer

from the teachings of Rebbe Nachman

The Fallen Sukkah of David

Art by Joan Landis

by Rabbi Gedaliah Aharon Kenig zt''l - founder of Nachal Novea community in Tsfat and foremost Breslev leader of the previous generation.

Integrating the mind through perfect faith

Reprinted from Tzaddik Magazine

The sukkah is associated with King David.  It is thus called the ''Sukkah of David''.  It could have been called by another name, like the ''Sukkah of Israel'' or the ''Sukkah of Moses'', yet our sages connect sukkah to David haMelech.

The fourth evening of the holiday of Sukkot marks the yahrzeit of Rebbe Nachman of Breslev, who is referred to as the nachal novea mekor chochma - ''the flowing river, source of wisdom'' [Proverbs 18:4].  He proclaimed an astounding concept to the world:  ''There is no such thing as despair!''  Nothing in the world is beyond hope.

How can such a claim be made when everything points in the opposite direction? Everyone experiences situations textured with despair to the point that it appears the entire world has ended.  Everything seems black, with no glimmer of light.  The despair these situations engender is called the ''Fallen Sukkah of David.''

Yet Rebbe Nachman asserts: ''There is no such thing as despair!''  Although it is impossible to avoid difficult situations, the mind possesses a special power that can prevent one from falling completely during hard times.  On Sukkot we pray:  ''May the Compassionate One raise for us the ''Fallen Sukkah of David''.  Conceptually, the Sukkah of David represents a spiritually cleansed mind connected to a higher spiritual level, a place beyond our own intellectual perception of the world.

Integrating the Mind

According to the kabbalah, the sukkah represents the levels of perception beyond the conscious mind called makifim or ''external intellect''.  In contrast, pnimim or ''internal intellect''' is the knowledge we have successfully acquired.  These two levels are dynamically related: when the higher intellect enters our mind enabling us to understand it, the new insight becomes encompassed within our internal intellect.

Makifim are those levels of understanding that transcend intellectual grasp. They surround and hover above the conscious mind, radiating understanding into the internal intellect.  It is this upper level of intellect surrounding the mind that is called sukkah.  This is similar to a physical sukkah, which completely surrounds us.  During the holiday of Sukkot, we are required to enter the sukkah with our entire body, which includes the head, our intellect. Without the entire body entering the sukkah, the mitzvah of sukkah remains unfulfilled.

''David merited the crown of malchut - kingship'' [Kohelet Rabbah 7:2]

The physical universe and everything that occurs within it, is part of the lower level of the World of Action, and connected to the kabbalistic sefira of malchut.  Malchut itself possesses a type of ''intellect'' expressed as the animating intelligence contained by everything in the world.  This intelligence corresponds to King David and the lower internal intellect mentioned earlier.  The crown of King David, however, symbolizes the higher surrounding intellect, corresponding to the concept of sukkah.

When we don't understand why things are a certain way in the world, the power of faith should be exercised. Faith draws down the highest light into any situation. If you believe that there is a G-d Above Who governs the world, you won't dismiss something as meaningless just because you don't understand it. On the contrary, despire your current inability to understand, you will know everything is functioning according to a Higher Plan which is just and fair.  This faith will then illuminate your entire reality. In every situation, you now connect the upper surrounding intellect, called sukkah, to the lower internalized intellect, corresponding to your current perception of how the physical world operates.  When you believe that whatever happens is governed from Above, it is clear that it is good.

''When I dwell in darkness, G-d will be a light for me'' [Micha 7:8]

Even if I am sitting in darkness and don't understand what is happening, if I nonetheless believe that everything is just and fair because it is supervised by G-d, then this faith is a light for me.  Despite the darkness, it does not even occur to me to despair, since the same governing Power that brought me here to this situation or state of mind will do everything for my good and ultimately take me out of this darkness.

Through this expression of lower intellect, you will now attain the higher intellect, called sukkah. The merging of these two intellects is called the ''Sukkah of David'', which occurs when your perception of the way the world operates [Malchut David] is joined with the upper surrounding intellect [sukkah].  The opposite occurs when the two are separated, a division caused by thinking everything is under the jurisdiction of nature and human agency.  ''David'' is separated from sukkah - our perception of this world is separated from the upper intellect, faith in Divine governance of the world. This state is called ''The Fallen Sukkah of David''.

Thus, when Rebbe Nachman says ''There is no such thing in the world as despair'', he is drawing down the highest light into the human heart to give us the ability to understand that regardless of the difficulties we experience, there is a higher Power in charge of every detail in the world.  The process of attaining this level of understanding is called ''raising the fallen sukkah of David''.  Sukkat David is the rectified state of mind where the upper and lower intellect are united.

Turning Darkness into Light

G-d created us in order to know Him.  How is it possible for a limited physical human being to know G-d, Who is Infinite?  It is only possible to know G-d through facing the difficult challenges in life, and strengthening ourselves to get through them.

During times when it is extremely difficult to find G-d, one may fall, since it seems that G-d doesn't exist. The difficulty of the search itself brings one to a state of nothingness. By strengthening oneself during these moments, the very obstacles which prevented perception of G-d can be transformed into a vessel for Divine light.

Sometimes we undergo bitter situations where our understanding disappears completely. Even though we want to believe in G-d, we live inside a dark cloud. However much we search, we cannot find Him. This is a very dangerous situation, because we are unable to see G-d in spite of a sincere desire to find Him. What can we do?

Rebbe Nachman has advice for this dilemma as well.  Cry out ''G-d! Where are You? I don't see you but I believe You are here! Where are you?''  These cries will eventually enable you to return to your proper place, because the question of ''Where are You?'' indicates a belief in the existence of the thing for which you are searching.  You believe G-d is present, but you just don't know where.  The repeated cries of ''Where are You?'' from the depths of the heart are answered with: ''Here! Deeply inside, where You have always been.''

''The whole world is filled with His Glory''

One begins to sense G-d's direct supervision over every detail. Anything that seemed unjust or unfair is now understood as being orchestrated in a wondrous way for the good. Only by passing through darkness and obstacles can we draw closer to G-d, which is a fulfilment of the Divine will.

Sometimes during difficult times we say ''Oy! This is too much! I've had enough obstacles and darkness! I'm finished!''  This way of thinking is erroneous, since we were not created to remain on a single level.  On the contrary, we were created to continually ascend from level to level.  Difficult situations are necessary in order to progress and come closer to G-d.  The message of Rebbe Nachman is that it shouldn't even occur to a person to despair and think ''I can't go on''.  Strengthen yourself over and over again, and eventually you will make it through.

There is always a limit to difficulties because G-d doesn't leave us in difficult straits forever.  The only purpose of obstacles is to create a vessel to receive light. Material obstacles and the vessels they can create have measure and definition. However, G-d's light is unlimited.  We need only to strengthen ourselves and not give up. Sometimes one becomes so weak in the last moment and loses everything. This is a shame, since at that very moment a vessel is being completed to receive a higher light. At the end, the darkness can become so overwhelming that we think we are lost and give up completely, G-d forbid.

Constantly strengthening oneself is the secret to our existence.  There is no book in the world that can tell the entire awesome story of what the Jewish people have undergone since inception. Yet, despite everything, we continue to exist. This is only because of our patience, trust and will to strengthen ourselves anew each time, despite constant suffering.  We will continue to develop, and with the help of G-d, we will exist until the end, when the purpose for which we were created will be fulfilled. To know the unlimited light of the Infinite One.

Vessels to receive light are formed through obstacles. By overcoming the obstacles, the obstacles themselves are transformed into vessels of pleasantness.  Rebbe Nachman calls this pleasantness ''supernal delight'' which can now flow into completed vessels.  The delight that the upper intellect can experience is more pleasant than anything in this world. This is the meaning of ''May the Compassionate One raise for us the Fallen Sukkah of David.''

Rebbe Nachman is proclaiming to the entire world a message that everyone must hear.  There is no such thing as despair! There is no situation beyond hope! The Jewish people have always found themselves in difficult situations, and today is no different. Instead of losing hope, we must strengthen ourselves with perfected faith, especially during the days of Sukkot, when we bring our entire physical being into the sukkah.  We will then be worthy of being illuminated with a new light, which will reestablish the ''Fallen Sukkah of David forever''.  Amen.

Translated and adapted from a shiur given in Tsfat.

The Key

All beginnings require that you unlock new doors.

The key is giving and doing.

Give charity and do kindness.

[Rebbe Nachman of Breslov]

To give tzedaka to Israelis in need go to:  Amiti

Emunah: A Lightness of Being

 

from the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

"Eicha Esa Livadi Tarchachem U'Masachem V'Rivchem" - "How can I carry you alone, your bother, your load, and your quarrels" [Devarim 1:12]

Rashi says that Tarchachem means that they were nudnicks, and Masachem means they were apikursim [heretics] - Tarchachem clearly means tircha [bothersome], but how does masachem or heavy load come to apikursis?

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov answers that while intellectuals may consider people with emunah [faith] simple and naive, in a sense they are right.  With emunah  life becomes easier, as not everything must be explained and rationalized.  Emunah is a great tool to lift the weight from you.

 

However, an Apikores is constantly plagued by doubt and questions that nag him endlessly, leaving him no peace.  This constant state of turmoil eats at him and becomes a huge burden on his own shoulders.  This explains why Rashi says that masachem means apikursis, as there is no greater burden around. 

Remedy for an Evil Eye

The evil eye, also known in Hebrew as the ayin hara, is usually seen as a mysterious external force, lurking around, waiting to pounce on innocent victims. Some of us are familiar with phrases such as bli ayin hara or k'nayna hara, which are said in an attempt to ward off the influence of the evil eye. Other protective measures against the evil eye include the wearing of special amulets or visits to those who perform various practices using oil, mercury or eggs in an attempt to shatter the effects of the evil eye. On the other hand, many of us understandably relegate any discussion about the evil eye to superstition and irrationality. However, there is another dimension to the story of the evil eye, which can dramatically transform our relationship to others and the world in general.

The evil eye is synonymous with greediness, not being satisfied with one's portion, jealousy and begrudging others their good fortune. Someone who has an evil eye possesses these attributes as part of their personality. These characteristics can be manifested in a person quite openly, or sometimes in a much more hidden and subtle way. The potential damaging influence arises when someone who harbors these types of feelings against us, looks upon us, or our good fortune, including our children and our possessions. The negative force only has power over that which can actually be seen by the physical eye. This is one of the reasons that it can actually be a blessing to not be so noticeable in the public eye.

But wait... before you start glancing nervously over your shoulder, let's turn this entire idea upside down. Rebbe Nachman writes that we have to pray a lot in order to be saved from the evil eye [Likutey Moharan 54]. Which evil eye? Our own evil eye! Here is the secret principle: The evil eye only has power over us to the extent that we ourselves have the evil eye. According to Rebbe Nachman, there are two types of evil eye. The first type of evil eye is when we see our friend enjoy some elevation or greatness and wish it wasn't so. The second type is when we have an evil or begrudging eye towards anything else about our friend. The remedy for this potentially harmful situation is to develop a good eye, an ayin tova, towards everyone. This means sincerely wishing the best for them at all times, and being genuinely happy for their success.

Rebbe Nachman does point out that one also needs to pray a great deal in order to be saved from the evil eye of another, yet the primary responsibility for avoiding the evil eye lies with ourselves. If we feel that we don't have the strength to withstand the evil eye of someone else, for whatever reason, we should stay clear of that person until we have strengthened the power of our own good eye. 

Rebbe Nachman also teaches another benefit to a good eye: By finding merit, in even a wicked person, one is saved from the evil eye. This means not engaging at all in the negativity of another who wishes you harm. Respond only positively and pleasantly, emphasizing the good point that can be found in anyone or any situation. Respond to a curse with a blessing, no matter what! Then, the bad has absolutely nothing to grab and hold onto. This brings good into the world, subduing and eventually eliminating the bad completely.

Some of us may still insist on using amulets and other practices aimed at breaking the influence of someone else's evil eye upon us, but we need to be aware that, at best, the relief will only be temporary if we don't develop the power of our own good eye. By developing the power of our good eye through a little effort and revision of our habitual responses, we can shift our whole outlook towards the world and those around us. We have the ability to be channels for good to flow into the world; it all depends upon our desire. Not only can we wish good for others, but we can actually pray to God that the entire Creation itself be successful [Rav Ephraim Kenig]. In this way, we are restored as partners with God to repair and heal the world.

Source: BreslevTsfat
Also see: The Power of Vision

Coming Back for More

"V'Anshei Damim U'Mirma" - men of blood and deceit [Tehilim 55]. The Mishna in Pirkei Avos [5:19] says that this pasuk refers to Bilam HaRasha. Why, asks the Ben Ish Chai does it use the plural form of Anshei - multiple men - when Bilam is only one person? 

The Ben Ish Chai quotes the Arizal who says that Bilam was a Gilgul [reincarnation] of Lavan HaArami. Bilam had two spirits in him, his own evil spirit and that of Lavan. 

We know from his dealing with Yaakov that Lavan was the world's greatest swindler. We also know from the Hagadah that he tried to annihilate Bnei Yisroel. Bilam himself also tried to destroy Bnei Yisroel. Therefore within Bilam lay Anshei Damim U'Mirma, two of the most blood thirsty and deceitful villains in history.

Source: Revach.net

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov and some of his followers were standing by the window one morning, when a funeral procession went by. As was the custom, the people in the procession were following the coffin, weeping and wailing for the loss of the deceased.

Rabbi Nachman turned to his followers and said "More than likely, the soul of the dead man is laughing his heart out over the big scene they are making out there. When somebody dies, everyone always weeps over him as if to say "How nice it would have been if you had remained in this world a little longer, so you could endure even more suffering and hardships here!"

Reb Nosson, the Rabbi's closest disciple, was deeply puzzled by this strange statement. "But what about Gehenna?" he asked. "Even in the next world, he won't be entirely free from suffering, because he was not righteous enough to escape the torments of Gehenna. So he will have to suffer in the afterlife also."

"But at least when he gets out of Gehenna, his suffering will be over forever!" Rabbi Nachman replied. "Once he has been purged of his sins in Gehenna, his soul will be purified, and he will enjoy the reward for the good deeds that he performed in this world."

"But what about reincarnation?" Reb Nosson asked. "If he has to be reincarnated again, then what is the point of leaving this world and its troubles behind, only to return here again and again?"

"When he gets to the Heavenly Court," Rabbi Nachman replied, "he can put up a stubborn argument on his own behalf, and refuse to be reincarnated in any way, shape or form."

"Can he really do that?" Reb Nosson objected, "How can he refuse to accept the ruling of the Heavenly Court? Will it really help him if he refuses?"

"Of course it will help him" Rabbi Nachman replied. "He can stand before the Court and insist "Do whatever You want with me here in the heavenly realms - send me to Purgatory for every last detail of my sins if you must - but don't make me go back to the physical world again. Just get it over with here." If he is very, very firm in this, if he remains stubborn and does not move from his position, then it certainly will help him."

Reb Nosson took this lesson very seriously, and made a special point of fixing it in his mind. He prayed that, when his time came to go to the Other World, he would be able to remember this teaching and make the same plea before the Heavenly Court. in order to be saved from reincarnation. "No matter what might happen to me up there," he would say, "it would still be better than having to return to earth and be exposed to all of the dangers and temptations of material life again."

Nevertheless, after Rabbi Nachman died of tuberculosis in 1810, and it became the custom for Breslover Hasidim to gather at the Rebbe's grave in Uman on Rosh Hashanah, Reb Nosson also said: "If I knew for certain that I would merit to travel to my Rebbe's grave even once in a lifetime, then I would choose to reincarnate."

The Essence of Prayer

The Great Test at the End of Days

from the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

Great disbelief will spread throughout the world.

Fortunate is the person who will strengthen himself with faith in those times.

This warning will not help.

There were others, such as Daniel, who foretold that before the coming of the Messiah, many will be tested and refined, that the evil will worsen while the wise will keep their understanding.

Many will have their faith tested. The person who will pass the test and retain his faith will be fortunate and will attain all the good that is destined to come (may it be soon and in our days) about which the prophets and wise men prophesied.

If so, everyone should take care to remain strong in his faith. Since this prediction is already common knowledge, there will be no test.

But it will still be a great test.

Many will do evil. "The wicked will act wickedly" [Daniel 12:10]

I am telling you this for the sake of those few good people who will be strong in their faith. They will have great internal  battles. But my words will console and strengthen them, for they will see that someone already predicted this. 

- Rabbi Nachman of Breslov

Every Day We Create Our Own Judgement

by Rav Ephraim Kenig shlit'a

Reprinted with permission from Tzaddik Magazine  [October 2011]

He [Rabbi Akiva] used to say "Everything is given on pledge and a net is spread out over all the living. The shop is open, the merchant extends credit, the ledger is open and the hand records therein. All who wish to borrow may come and borrow. But the collectors make their regular daily rounds, and take payment from a person with or without their knowledge...." [Pirkei Avot 3:20]

A person usually goes about their daily life thinking that whatever they do is basically okay.  Even if this is not the case, they figure if no one knows, then it's not the end of the world; they'll just fix it afterwards.  They may even realize that G-d knows about their indiscretions, but since the person considers them to be only temporary, everything will somehow straighten out in the end.  These are the type of thoughts that Rabbi Akiva is addressing in his statement in Pirkei Avot.  He reminds us that whatever we take from this world must be left behind when we leave; nothing can be taken with us when we die.

Paying Back What You Eat
One way to understand this is found in the book ''Chesed L'Avraham'' written by the grandfather of the Chida, Rabbi Chaim David Azulai a"h.  He writes that when a person dies, the chevra kadisha comes to attend to the body before the levaya [funeral].  They cover the body in the place where it was when the soul departed, and everyone returns home.  The deceased remains alone with himself. When the body is put into the grave, if the person enjoyed a lot from this world, the first thing that happens is that the worms come to demand their portion.  In other words, they must now return whatever they took from this world, whatever they ate simply to fill their stomach.  Yet if they ate only in holiness and purity, i.e. only kosher food and only in quantities necessary to sustain a healthy and strong body to serve G-d, then there is nothing to take back.  This is one understanding of  "they take payment''.

With or Without His Knowledge
Since there are specific times during the year conducive to repentance and forgiveness, a person may think that everything automatically works out.  For example, there is the month of Elul - the Hebrew month set aside for teshuvah, intensive introspection and repentance - which is followed by Rosh Hashanah and the atonement of Yom Kippur.  But the reality is that G-d is not obligated to wait until these specific times and can send messengers to collect what is due at any point.  Sometimes, one may even be aware of their situation and upon a little soul searching, may even realize they might need to go through something unpleasant.  But usually, this level of self-awareness is rare and one has no realization that anything is amiss or in need of change.  But G-d operates in His ways. It is here the idea "with or without his knowledge" comes into play.

You Are Your Own Judge
Rebbe Nachman transmits the following idea in the name of the holy Baal Shem Tov.  Before any decree is issued in the world, G-d forbid, the entire world is assembled to give their agreement.  In this instance, the 'entire world' encompasses the inanimate, plant, animal, and human levels.  They are all notified and asked if there is any opposition to the decree.  This even includes the person who has the negative decree hanging over them.  When everyone reaches agreement, the judgment is passed.

Who in the world would agree to a negative decree against oneself?  Obviously, if you were to ask the person directly, they would defend themselves and oppose the judgment.  For this reason, a similar situation is presented to them, and their opinion is asked without realizing it has anything to do with their own case.  Someone will ask them: "What do you think about what so-and-so did?"  They respond. "Whoo whoo, they deserve this or that..."   In heaven they say: "Is that right?" You just passed judgment on yourself..."  The case is closed and the person doesn't comprehend what just transpired.  According to Rebbe Nachman, this is an example of "taking payment with or without his knowledge".

The whole concept of how a person is asked each time about their own judgment is profoundly deep.  Each word of every story we hear has lofty and exalted significance.   For example, we may hear a story about two people involved in an argument that has nothing to do with us.  In the rare case it does, we need to be even more careful.  But most of the time, it is simply a seemingly random story where everyone takes the liberty of jumping into the fray, taking a stand on who is right or wrong, and who deserves what.  The very words a person utters are then taken and applied to his own case and he will be compelled to bring his own words to fruition.  This is why Rebbe Nachman advises us to be very careful about what we say.  Don't let an inadvertent word slip out in the wrong way or pass judgment on another's behavior.  If you do, you are agreeing to your own verdict, since no judgment can materialize without your agreement.

Controlling Your Thoughts

King David says Zamoti bal yalavar pi - "My thoughts dare not pass through my mouth." [Psalms 17:3]  There are two important ways to understand this verse.  Firstly, the word zamoti is related to the Hebrew word for "muzzle" - z'mam.  King David alludes to this as if to say "G-d! Since I don't weigh my words seriously enough, put a muzzle on my mouth to prevent me from saying anything irresponsible or improper."

The second explanation of how to understand this verse concerns controlling our thoughts.  Sometimes a person blurts out an empty phrase, without even knowing why they said it.  But the reality is that there are custodial forces appointed over a person from heaven; sometimes they are good and sometimes not. They seize upon these same words and turn them around on the one who uttered them.  These ramifications ought to give each of us serious pause for thought.

It is not necessary to express every thought that comes to mind.  Thus King David refers here to the need for an even deeper level of restraint.  He would like G-d to place a muzzle on his mouth to stop him from verbalizing anything that enters his head.  Since according to Rebbe Nachman, it is through these very words that they "take the payment from a person with or without his knowledge".

We witness how people suffer from a bundle of woes that they carry, whether external problems or personal health issues G-d forbid. Yet the reality is that they agreed and signed off on everything.  Without their agreement, these difficulties could not have materialized.  One may say "I never agreed to such a thing!"  The recording is then played back for them and they are asked "You don't remember what you said in such and such year when someone told you a certain story? Was it any of your business to comment? You gave your commentary anyway and here are the consequences."  G-d should guard us.

This spiritual dynamic accompanies us every single day, hour by hour.  It is written "Whoever sits in the refuge of the Most High.." [Psalms 91].  The Talmud calls this particular chapter of Psalms "a song against evil forces" since it is recited by those who want to be saved from misfortune and accidents.

For instance, when mourners attend a funeral they recite these verses since they possess tremendous protective power against negative spiritual forces seeking to harm a person.  It is further written: "His angels he will charge for you, to protect you on all your paths."  This refers to the fact that there are angels who constantly accompany a person to safeguard him from harm.  According to our sages, these protective angels are more accurately called the yetzer tov and the yetzer hara - the good inclination and the evil inclination.  In contrast to what most people think, they are both responsible for protecting a person from disaster, since the fundamental role of the yetzer hara is to serve a person.  However, if one comes too close and is drawn after him, the yetzer hara is no longer obligated to fulfill his protective duty.  One then becomes enslaved to him, and the yetzer hara does whatever he wants with the person.


Forces Created From Our Own Actions
Along with the yetzer tov and yetzer hara, come all sorts of other forces, G-d forbid, which are created when a person stumbles, for example, in eating non-kosher food or is involved with any kind of negative thoughts, speech, or actions.  In this case, damaging forces are created in the world that are bound to the person who created them.  These forces are called mezekei alma - "destroyers of the world".  Their whole purpose is to cause damage and they don't even realize this is their role.

To illustrate, it is like a child who plays with matches because he thinks it is fun.  An adult comes along and admonishes him, but when he sees that the child doesn't understand, he takes the matches away by force.  This is because the adult understands very well that the child is doing something dangerous.  The child though, doesn't comprehend this fact.  He screams and cries "Why did you take them away from me?"  Likewise, these "destroyers of the world" don't even understand they are destructive. Their actions are not intentional, but since they were created from damage, this is their fundamental essence.

It is these forces that accompany us wherever we go. They catch our every word in an attempt to interpret it according to their crooked way of thinking, because after all, they are a creation based on crookedness and damage.  Since they are an undesirable creation, everything about them is undesirable. They even have the ability to compel a person to undergo judgments from the upper worlds. They facilitate a person's undoing to such an extent that life is endangered, and the individual has no idea what is actually going on.

We don't know.  We don't actually see these forces or perceive them with our senses, but what do we know? We know that there are tzaddikim on the highest of spiritual levels, who know about these matters with such clarity that they simply advise us to have compassion on ourselves and acknowledge we don't know what goes on around us on a spiritual plane.  For this reason, they caution us to guard ourselves from undesirable speech, thoughts, or deeds since they bring detrimental consequences.

One may take note of the many criminals at large in the world, who say and do terrible things, but seem to have it good without any suffering.  So where do these ideas fit in?  The answer is that something much worse is actually going on for them.  The criminal doesn't pay for his actions in this world. It simply waits for him in the next world, where everything comes back to him in a much more penetrating way.  This is what the Talmud refers to when it states "Afflictions atone for a person".  Whatever difficulties one goes through in this world serve as a huge atonement for him.  It is preferable and worthwhile to undergo it here, since in the next world, one contends with not only afflictions, but humiliation along with much more unpleasantness.

The only advice is to say to oneself "Stop".  Just as we need to be careful about what we put into our mouth, i.e. kosher and healthy food, likewise we must be careful about what comes out of it by guarding our speech.  The same caution applies to our actions. We should do nothing that the Torah, or our sages, forbid.  Similarly with thought; we shouldn't think that just because our thoughts are only between us and G-d they can be easily fixed.  It doesn't exactly work like this, since many holy books describe the power of thought as greater than the power of deed.  It is possible to do teshuvah or repair an action, but it is much more difficult to do the same with a thought.  You can nullify or gain control over an action, but once you think it, a thought is out of our control and possession.

Thus Rebbe Nachman's advice to everyone is to weigh our deeds in a way that will be truly positive in this world and the next, and to live good and thoughtful lives, with proper consideration for our every thought, word, and action.  Since there will be no-one to pass a bad judgment, every negative decree will be opposed.

Remember that you are never asked directly about your own situation, rather only about someone else's story.  Thus don't rush to pass judgment either verbally or even in your thoughts as to who is right or wrong.  Unless it concerns you directly and practically, just leave it without comment. You will feel profoundly satisfied, and it will be so very beneficial not only to you but to the entire Jewish people.

May G-d enlighten us with higher levels of self-awareness to improve our lives, as well as the entire world, every day and every moment.

Rabbi Ephraim Kenig shlit'a, is CEO and Rosh Yeshiva of the Nachal Novea Mekor Chochma institutions as well as the head administrator at Talmud Torah Magen Avot, in the Old City of Tsfat.

Nothing

Rebbe Nachman once told me "When things are very bad, make yourself into nothing. Uhu as es iz shoin gar schlecht, iz min zich gar m'vatel."

I asked him: "How does one make himself into nothing!"

He replied: "You close your mouth and eyes - and you are like nothing! Me far-macht das moil, uhu die oigen, iz bitul."

We can gain valuable insight from these words.

Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed by the Evil Inclination. You are confused by evil thoughts and very disturbed, finding it impossible to overcome.

You must then make yourself like nothing, you no longer exist, your eyes and mouth are closed. Every thought is banished. Your mind ceases to exist. You have nullified yourself completely before G-d.

Source: Rabbi Nachman's Wisdom by his Disciple Rabbi Nathan of Nemirov, translated by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan zt"l

Tikkun for an Evil Eye



Art: Linda Boucher

"He who possesses a beneficient eye shall be blessed." [Proverbs 22:9]

There is a “beneficient eye” and an “evil eye”. Both terms have been used for several millennia and are found in the Talmud as indicators of the measure of a man.

Abraham was the paradigm of one who possesses a “beneficient eye”. He always looked for good in others, and felt neither jealousy of, nor hatred for, his fellow man. Bilaam, on the other hand, epitomized the possessor of an “evil eye” – one who always looks for fault or is jealous of another’s possessions or status.

The Talmud, when referring to the evil eye, credits it with almost mystical powers. Looking at another’s possessions with jealousy in your eyes can cause evil to befall that person. For this reason Talmudic law forbids us to build our homes too close to that of our neighbours. Privacy is very important, lest we look upon our neighbours’ possessions with a covetous eye. Neighbours should maintain a reasonable distance between one another, or, at the very least, homes should be built with a separation and a space between them.

Having an “evil eye” is usually understood as looking at another person with the intent that evil should befall him. It also includes coveting another’s possessions, being annoyed at his success (as if his success somehow impinges on our ability to succeed in life), pettiness and so on.

Rebbe Nachman teaches that an evil eye leads to an increased breathing rate. Somehow, jealousy and rage at another’s success causes one to draw breath at an accelerated pace.The Talmud therefore teaches “The cup of benediction at the conclusion of a meal should be given to one with a good eye. It is thus written (Proverbs 22:9) “He who possesses a beneficient eye shall be blessed.” Do not only read “shall be blessed” but shall bless….”

Conversely, one should beware of people with stingy and jealous eyes, as King Solomon cautions (Proverbs 23:6) “Do not break bread with [one who possesses] an evil eye”.

It is not merely a matter of superstition. As much as a good eye blesses, an evil eye takes. The source of the power of the evil eye is greed. When one looks upon another's possessions with greed, and the other is in any way guilty of mis-using his money, or is otherwise unworthy of the wealth he possesses, he might lose his possessions, G-d forbid. Clearly the way we look upon another's possessions can arouse Divine judgment against him. In the same vein, when we view the possessions of others generously, we can with a mere look of our eyes, bring blessing upon them.

When we realise that the eyes are the "windows to the mind" the significance of "evil eye" increases.

Rebbe Nachman taught: Memory depends upon the eyes, as in (Exodus 13:9) "[the tefillin shall be as] a remembrance between your eyes". In order to guard one's memory, one must first guard oneself from an evil eye - from evil thoughts about others, from jealousy, and from all forms of negativity. The evil eye can cause harm not only to the one being focused upon, but also to the one who is focusing, to an even greater degree. Conversely, maintaining an evil eye goes hand in hand with forgetfulness."

Yet we needn't live in constant fear of the evil eye, of others who may wish us harm. Rebbe Nachman teaches that if we feel incapable of guarding ourselves against an evil eye, then we should flee from it. However, if we can come to understand the essence of the evil eye, our actions can be far more effective: we can rectify it.

For example, a person might have an evil eye against another's position in life. This evil eye stems from the fallen attribute of Malkhut (kingship) which, when blemished, leads to low self-esteem and the need to put others down in order to get ahead. To correct one's own fallen Malkhut, one should strive to elevate G-d's Malkhut - by learning Torah or by otherwise disseminating G-d's Name in the world. In this way, one demonstrates one's allegiance to G-d, rather than to one's own need for self-aggrandizement. This serves to rectify the evil eye of the fallen Malkhut at its root.

Source: "Anatomy of the Soul" - Chaim Kramer - from the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

When you invite jealousy, you're inviting negative energy from someone else. For this insensitivity or transgression on your part, you may incur a Divine consequence of losing some of your blessing. [If you give a child a toy and he hits his little brother with it, you might take the toy away. He's not using it the way you intended.]

Another spiritual rule that the kabbalists describe, explains the evil eye like this:

When someone stares at your blessing and thinks, "Why should so-and-so have that brand new Hummer? He's not so righteous. Why is God rewarding him?", it's like a complaint to Heaven, and an accusation that gets registered. The heavenly court then examines you and your blessing to determine if you in fact deserve it. If you don't, your blessing may be damaged or lost.

Of course, the accuser doesn't get off scott free, either, because then the heavenly court decides to investigate the accuser. "Who is this that comes to judge My child?" God asks.

So it's always a bad idea to give someone else an evil eye. And it's a bad idea to expose yourself to it, too.

Rectifying Past Lives

What happens to people who fail to do teshuvah for past wrong-doings - is there no hope for them?

The answer brings us to the Divine gift of reincarnation.

All Kabbalistic sources are in agreement: the soul (or the portion of the soul that requires it) will be reincarnated to rectify any wrongdoings committed in its previous lifetime. To facilitate this, the reincarnated individual will be drawn to the specific areas which require rectification (tikunim).

According to the Arizal, the Talmud [Shabbat 118b] alludes to this when it tells us that Rabbi Yosef was asked about his father Rabbah: "Which mitzvah was he most careful to perform?" The questioner knew that every Jew is required to fulfill all the mitzvot to the best of his ability. Clearly, however, he was asking a deeper question: if a person is inordinately connected to a particular mitzvah, it indicates that his entire mission in being born was to rectify that mitzvah. According to this, the questioner was asking which particular mitzvah had Rabbah's soul been lacking in his previous incarnation.

The Arizal writes that the same applies to every single individual. The main characteristics of one's spiritual weaknesses are the specific areas one must rectify [see Sha'ar HaGilgulim 16]

Everyone has difficulties in their character traits which G-d gave them to work on in this life. If they were given a problem, it is their task to find out how to use it in a way that serves G-d, rather than going against His directives.

The very thing which a person will have the most trouble doing, is perhaps the one thing they need to rectify in this life.

from the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

adapted by Chaim Kramer

[Igros Kodesh of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, vol 5, letter 1257]

You tell me you are giving the proper amount of tzedaka. However your shalom bayis (peace in the home) situation needs great improvement.

The fact that you are having great difficulties in this area is a sign that this mitzvah has not been completed in your previous life. The holy Arizal teaches us that most souls living in a body have been here before. The reason they come back again is to fulfil those mitzvos that they did not do properly the first time around.

Those mitzvos that they did complete in their previous lifetime do not require any more refinement, and therefore their observance is easy.

However, those mitzvos that one did not complete in his previous lifetime are the ones most difficult to do. The yetzer hara targets these non-completed mitzvos as the ones to oppose most.

The fact that the issue of shalom bayis is so difficult for you proves that it is a mitzvah which needs fulfilment. In your past lifetime you did not refine this mitzvah. Now is your opportunity.