Do Your Hate Your Brother?

Success is no Subsitute for Familial Harmony
by: Rabbi Y Y Jacobson

Disaster

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, nosh was all over the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Whole

"Jacob arrived whole to the city of Shechem [1]," the Torah states in this week's portion, Vayishlach.

What a gift it is—to be whole, complete. To feel wholesome, unified, integrated, holistic. How many of us can claim to be whole?

How did this happen? What was the secret behind Jacob's "wholeness" at this time? He hasd been married for years, he had many children, and he was a successful man. He had garnered much wealth and he has dealt successfully with many an adversary.

What transpired at this moment which conferred upon Jacob this condition of "wholeness" [2]?

In fact, nowhere does the Bible describe a human being in such a way—that he or she was "shalam," whole [3]. It is an extraordinary description for a human being, who from the genesis of time, is characterized by duality, fragmentation and conflict.

Apparently, something extraordinary occurred in the life in Jacob, which made him whole, precisely at this juncture of his life.

The Preceding Scene

There is no escaping the juxtaposition between this statement—“Jacob arrived whole”—and the preceding scene in the Bible. In the previous scene, Esau finally made peace with his brother Jacob. After decades of estrangement, hostility and ire, and the fear of outright war between the brothers, they had at last reconciled, even if they would not live together.

It is a profound development. Twenty-two years earlier Esau vowed to murder Jacob, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother [4].” Now, as they are about to meet again, we stand posed anticipating a harsh encounter. Upon hearing that Esau is approaching him with a force of four hundred men, Jacob is “very afraid and distressed [5].” He devises an elaborate defense, including a strategy for war.

When Esau finally appears, something very different transpires. The Bible’s description of the meeting is unforgettable [6]:

“Esau ran toward him, embraced him, fell upon his neck, and kissed him. And they wept.” There is no anger, animosity or threat of revenge. Peace has at last descended upon the Abrahamic family. [7] The next scene in the Torah reads: "Jacob arrived whole…"

The message to us seems clear. You may be a wonderful, accomplished and successful individual, but as long as you are not on speaking terms with your own sibling, you will not be whole. As long as a family is torn by mistrust and conflict, none of its members can be whole. You may be right or wrong in your arguments, but as long as the conflict lingers, you will remain broken. We cannot make ourselves whole, nor can we mend the world, if we lack the courage and vulnerability to create peace within our own families. The family is the nucleus of civilization.

George Burns once quipped that happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. It is often easier to get along with the "whole world" than with your own family. But it is only through family harmony that we can achieve genuine wholeness in our lives.

To post a comment on this article, or to view the footnotes, please click here.

Good Shabbos!

Finally some blue sky....

Sydney celebrates its first sunny day - so far - this summer. Rain expected to return tomorrow.

Bondi Beach

Reuven: The First Baal Teshuvah

''Reuven moved the bed of Yaakov....'' [Vayishlach 35:22]

The midrash refers to Reuven as "the first one to repent'' for his sin [of moving his father's bed].  G-d said to him ''No man has ever sinned before me and repented. You have opened the path of teshuvah.'' [Bereishis Rabah 82:11, 84:19]

Even though we find that Adam and Kayin repented before Reuven, nevertheless they did so out of fear of Divine retribution.  Reuven however was the first one to truly return to God, because he realized that his sin was wrong.

For this reason, Yaakov is said to have a ''perfect complement'' of children, for not only did he have sons who were tzadikim [perfectly righteous], he also had a son who was a genuine baál teshuva.

Based on Likutei Sichos Lubavitcher Rebbe, Sefer Hasichos 5750]

#IsraelHates

#IsraelHates
The latest Twitter hashtag is just the latest in anti-Semitism
A video from Glenn Beck

Responding to Wake Up Calls: What We Must Do

by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis 

For the past several weeks I have been discussing the contemporary crisis that is engulfing us and how we might respond to it. As we are all too aware, there is a new Hitler on the block. He has multitudes of followers and, as in the past, the world is ominously silent. In this column I will conclude (at least for the time being) this series on how we might respond to our challenges. That which I am writing is not based upon whim or opinion, but that which is rooted and documented in our Torah.

There is an amazing prophecy in the Yalkut Shimoni – a Medieval/Midrashic compilation that eerily foretells the events of today and should give us all pause: Rabbi Yitzchok said: “The year in which Melech Hamashiach will be revealed, all the nations of the world will be provoking each other. The King of Persia [Iran], will provoke the King of Arabia Saudi Arabia. The King of Arabia will go to the King of Edom [the leader of the Christian nations – the President of the United States] to take counsel, and the king of Persia [Ahmadinejad] will threaten to destroy the entire world.

The nations of the world will be outraged and panic. They will fall on their faces and experience pains like birth pangs. Israel too, will be outraged and in a state of panic, ask, ”Where do we go?”

“But say unto them, ‘My children, do not fear. The time of your redemption has come..... And this last redemption shall be different from the first that was followed by further bondage and pain. After this last redemption, you will not experience any further pain or subjection.” [Yalkut Shemoni, Isaiah 59]

The Klausenberger Rebbe, Z’tl, referring to this teaching said, “Remember these words. “They are perhaps not understood now, but in time they will be and be a source of strength to our people.”

Had you heard these prophecies centuries ago, when they were written, you might have laughed and scoffed – even if you read them as recently as 1970, you would have been hard put to believe it, for of all the Moslem countries the Shah’s Iran was probably the friendliest. But today, the impossible has become possible, and events are unfolding so rapidly, that we have difficulty absorbing their impact. So how are we to understand it all?

The Yalkut compares our suffering to birth pangs. But birth pangs are deceptive; when the contractions begin, it’s easy to ignore them since they are mild and occur between long intervals. As the birth becomes imminent however, the contractions intensify and the pain becomes more intense. And just when it appears that the woman can no longer endure the pain, the baby is born and new life enters the world. It is these labor pains to which we are witness today. How long will the labor last? It’s anyone’s guess, but one thing is certain – please G-d, the birth is sure to take place. In the interim however, we may very well ask, “Is it possible to ease the suffering? Is it possible to protect ourselves from these painful contractions?”

For that too, our sages have an answer: “Let he who wishes to be spared the birth pangs of Messiah occupy himself with Torah and gemilas chassidim [acts of loving-kindness] and let him be scrupulous about Seudah Shlishis – the third Sabbath meal.”

The first two recommendations – Torah and gemilas chasadim are self-explanatory and do not require much elaboration, for he who is committed to Torah and mitzvos and to reaching out with loving kindness must, of necessity, become a better, more spiritual person.

But eating a third Sabbath mean is not as readily comprehensible. We are enjoined to have three seudos – meals on the Sabbath – Sabbath eve [Friday night], Sabbath noon [following prayer in the synagogue] and the third seudah – meal —in the late afternoon as the Sabbath Queen prepares to depart. Through these three meals we honor the three Patriarchs, the three sections of our scriptures [Torah, Prophets, and the Writings] and we recall the three Sabbath meals of manna that G-D provided us during our sojourn in the wilderness [Exodus 16:25].

This final Sabbath seudah is called Shalosh Seudah, which translated literally means “Three Meals” rather than Seudah Shlishis – the third meal. Our Sages explain that the reason for this is that all three Sabbath seudos are embodied in this one.

This third mean presents a most auspicious time for prayer. And to this very day, when I close my eyes, I can hear the sweet voices of my revered father and my beloved husband of blessed memory, leading their congregants in singing Psalm 23, the psalm that is traditionally chanted at the Shalosh Seudas.

“The L-rd is my Shepherd, I shall not want... The task of the shepherd is a lowly and lonely one. Day in and day out, he is destined to wander from place to place, seeking pasture for his flock, and yet, David did not hesitate to refer to G-d as a Shepherd, for he perceived that G-d’s love is so total so encompassing that when it comes to caring for His children, nothing is beneath him. What a magnificent and fortifying thought - for no matter where life takes us, even if we have to walk in the treacherous valley overshadowed by death, we need not fear, for G-D, our Shepherd, will always be there to lead us to greener pastures, even if, at first, we do not recognize that the pasture is green.

Still, it is difficult to comprehend how the mere eating of a third meal, singing Psalm 23, and discussing Words of Torah could have such awesome power that they can actually protect us from the suffering that will accompany the birth pangs.

But there is a profound lesson at the root of this teaching. The first two Sabbath seudos are eaten when we are hungry, but after a festive noontime seudoh, we are hardly in the mood for yet another meal. So it is not to satiate our hunger that we gather around the Shalosh Seudos table. Rather, it is to celebrate the Sabbath and sing her praises, and that is why the Third Meal encompasses them all. The Third Meal is symbolic of the conversion of the physical to the spiritual, and ultimately, that is our purpose – to become spiritual beings and to free ourselves from the shackles of materialism – and that is something that our generation, obsessed with materialism and the pursuit of pleasure has yet to learn.

You might of course wonder, “Why must we experience birth pangs in order for Messiah to come? Why can’t he just announce his presence? But the Messianic period will be very much like Shalosh Seudas, when we sit around the table, not to satiate our physical hunger not to glory in our material achievements, but to celebrate our spiritual attainments.

In order for that to happen, we will have to divest ourselves of all the icons that we hold dear. Therefore, our hallowed institutions, the bastions of strength in which we placed our trust, will have to fall away. It is that painful disintegration to which we are witness today. From the corporate world to government, to religious institutions, to science and medicine, they have all failed us. And worse, we no longer feel safe or secure in our daily lives. Terrorists and suicide bombers have become a reality of our existence and no army or police force is capable of defending us from them.

Additionally, we are witness to constant horrific natural disasters – Tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes, floods.... we see the devaluation of our assets, be it the dollar or the Euro.... We see dictators, who for generations ruled with an iron fist falling like dominos as they are overtaken by Muslim fanatics, the sons of Yishmael. Yes, prophecy is unfolding before our very eyes.

Shorn of our defenses, we stand vulnerable and terrified and wonder where it will all end...... what is it all about? But we see only that which we want to see and hear only that which we want to understand as our world quickly disintegrates.

How long will these birth pangs last?.... Until we recognize the simple truth – that “we can rely on no one but our Heavenly Father.” So let us sound the shofar, awaken ourselves from our lethargy, and heed the voice of our Father calling us. And that is the only answer to the big question – what are we to do?

Even as I write these words, I realize that this simplistic response may disappoint and irritate many. But there is no way that we, the Jewish people, can escape our destiny.

G-d appointed us to be His light on this planet, a light, which illuminates the world with His Torah.... a light which proclaims G-d is One and His Name is One... And that is our calling – a calling that we cannot escape.

Lunar Eclipse December 10

There will be a total lunar eclipse in two days' time: and unfortunately a lunar eclipse is not a good sign for the Jews [bad news for the Aussies: as it will be visible in its entirety from all of Australia and New Zealand]

Click on the MOON label for more eclipse posts.

Also see: Rav Mutzafi: Don't Worry About the Eclipse

Following Dinah's Example

''Dinah - Leah's daughter, whom she had borne to Yaakov''  [Vayishlach 34:1]

From Dinah's conduct we can learn that those Jewish women who are blessed with a God-given ability to influence others positively, should make sure to use their talents productively outside the home as well.  Of course, a Jewish woman must always maintain an air of modesty, and even when she is outside the home it should be recognizable in her actions that ''the entire glory of the King's daughter is within'' [Psalms 45:14].

Nevertheless, while retaining the utmost guard in all matters of modesty, it is crucial that Jewish women who are capable of bringing others closer to Judaism, spend time outside the home, utilizing their God-given talents for the sake of Heaven.

Based on Likutei Sichos Lubavitcher Rebbe vol 35