The Hardships of America & The Emergence of Gog Before Mashiach

Rabbi Mendel Kessin - The Middle East War and The True Task of a Non Jew - Part 4

Incredible !

This is a video from 2013 which came up on my FB feed..... now normally I don't watch too many random videos, but something drew me to this one, and it totally blew me away.  I just had to share it here.   Watch the amazing story of how Diabolo became Spirit.  There is so much to be learned here.  Names affect animals too.

Judaism and Abusive Marriages - Reality Check

What do you do if you're an orthodox Jewish woman and you're in an abusive marriage?  You go to your rabbi and he tells you that you must do everything you can to save your marriage, and Hashem ''never gives you more than you can handle'' etc etc - so do you stay in the marriage and continue to be abused, thinking that this is Hashem's Will ?

Rabbi Yossi Jacobson has all the answers in this audio.

The Three Levels of Forgiving

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. [Oscar Wilde]

The people criticized G-d and Moshe: "Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the desert? There's no bread and no water, and we're sick of this unwholesome (manna) bread." G-d sent venomous snakes upon the people, and they bit the people. Many people of Israel died. The people came to Moshe and said "We have sinned! For we have spoken against G-d and against you! Pray to G-d that He should remove the snakes from us!" Moshe prayed on behalf of the people. [Chukas 21:5-7]

Even after the people criticized Moshe heavily, resulting in a punishment of venomous snakes, we nevertheless find that Moshe did not bear a grudge and prayed for the people to be saved. "From here we learn" writes Rashi, "that if a person asks you for forgiveness you should not be cruel and refrain from forgiving."

This principle is recorded by Rambam in his legal Code, the Mishneh Torah, in three places and there are a number of variations which need to be explained.

1) In Laws of Personal Injury, Rambam describes the method and process of forgiveness. "Once the attacker has asked forgiveness once, and then a second time, and we know that he has repented for his sin and he has abandoned the evil that he has done, then one must forgive him". However in Laws of Teshuvah these details are omitted. Instead, we are told that "When the sinner asks him for forgiveness, he should forgive him with a full heart and a willing spirit." Similarly, in Laws of Moral Conduct: "If the person returns and aks him for forgiveness, then he should forgive."

2) The person who forgives is given a different name in each of the three laws. In Laws of Moral Conduct he is called the "forgiver"; in Laws of Teshuvah a "person", and in Laws of Personal Injury he is called the "injured party".

3) One further detail is that in Laws of Teshuvah a person is told not to be "difficult to appease". Why does Rambam use this phrase, and why only in Laws of Teshuvah?

The Explanation

Forgiveness can be carried out on three levels:

1) When one person sins against another, he becomes liable to be punished for the sin that he committed. In order to be relieved of this punishment he needs to appease both G-d and the person that he sinned against. Therefore, through forgiving a person for his sin, one alleviates him from a Heavenly punishment.

2) A higher level of forgiveness is to forgive not just the act of sin but the sinner himself. i.e. even though one person may forgive another for a particular bad act (thus relieving him from being punished) there still may remain a trace of dislike for the person in general. Thus, a higher level of forgiveness is to forgive the entire person completely for his wrong, so that there remains no trace of bad feeling between them.

3) The highest level of forgiveness is an emotion that is so strong and positive that it actually uproots the sins of the past, making it as if they never occurred at all. After such a forgiveness, the sinner will be loved by the offended party to the very same degree that he was loved before the sin.

It is these three types of forgiveness which Rambam refers to in his three different laws:

1) In Laws of Personal Injury, Rambam discusses the laws of compensation for specific damages that one person causes another. Thus, when he speaks there of forgiveness for a sin, he is speaking of the forgiveness that is required to relieve the sinner from the punishment of that specific sin. Therefore, Rambam spells out the precise method of forgiveness that is required to achieve atonement ("when the attacker has asked forgiveness once, and then a second time, and we know that he has repented for his sin etc. then one must forgive him"), because only by following this precise method can we be sure that the sinner will be acquitted of this punishment.

To stress the point further, Rambam speaks in terms of an "injured party" and the "forgiving" of the injury, as we are speaking here of a specific sin and its atonement.

2) In Laws of Moral Conduct, the focus is not on the actual sin and its atonement, but rather, the character of the forgiver. And, if a person is to be of fine character, it is insufficient to forgive a person just so that he will be freed from punishment. Rather, one should forgive another person completely (i.e. the second level above). Therefore, in Laws of Moral Conduct, Rambam stresses that "When one person sins against another, he should not hide the matter and remain silent" for it would be a bad character trait to harbor resentment, keeping one's ill feelings to oneself. Therefore "it is a mitzvah for him to bring the matter into the open".

Thus, we can understand why Rambam omits here details of the process of forgiveness, for the main emphasis here is not the atonement of the sinner, but the required character traits of the victim.

To stress the point further, the person is termed here not as the "injured party" but as the "forgiver".

3) In Laws of Teshuvah, Rambam is speaking of the highest level of forgiveness which is required for a person to achieve a total "return to G-d". For this to occur, the forgiveness must be done in a manner that is so deep that one uproots the sin totally; as if it had never occurred at all. This is because total forgiveness is a crucial factor in the sinner's overall return to G-d, as Rambam writes: "Sins between man and his fellow man... are not forgiven until... the person has been asked for forgiveness..."

Thus, Rambam stresses here that "A person should be easily placated and difficult to anger, and when the sinner asks him for forgiveness, he should forgive him with a full heart and a willing spirit" (despite the fact that these details are more appropriate to Laws of Moral Conduct), because the goodwill of the victim is a crucial part of the sinner's teshuvah. Only when the victim is completely forgiving - to the extent that the sin is uprooted, as if it never existed - can we be sure that the sinner has returned to be as close to G-d as he was prior to the sin.

To stress this point further, Rambam writes "It is forbidden for a person (not an "injured party" or "forgiver") to be cruel and difficult to appease" - i.e. here we are not talking merely of the minimum forgiveness that is required to relieve the sinner from his punishment. Rather, here we are talking of the victim as a "person". And one can hope that he will not merely "forgive" his fellow who hurt him, freeing him from punishment, but that he will allow himself to be "appeased" completely, thereby helping his fellow Jew to come to a complete Teshuvah.

Source: Based on Likutei Sichos Vol 28 Lubavitcher Rebbe

The Power of Pain

A 75-second revelation from Rabbi Simon Jacobson

Can a Disease Become a Cure?

We all have made our share of mistakes, intentional or unintentional. We all have our flaws and defects, our psychological scars and lacerations. Conventional wisdom tells us that we can heal from our wounds and grow through our pain. We may be able to erase our unwanted pasts or overshadow them with positive strength. But can our actual mistakes and deficiencies become healing agents? Can a disease become a cure?

Please join Rabbi Simon Jacobson in this Kabbalistic healing workshop and travel into the inner core of all ailments and discover surprising secrets of your soul, not the least of which is the startling truth: All disease stems from a response to correct an aberration. At the root of all afflictions -- of all negative energy -- lies tremendous potency. Learn how to tap these powerful forces which feed your pains and convert them into formidable allies.

`Mishpatim’ – Judaism Abhors Child Abuse

by Rabbi Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz 

Rabbi Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz

Just after the giving of the Law at Sinai, the Torah presents us with an assortment of laws, some criminal, some civil and some purely religious.

The civil laws in our Torah portion this week, Mishpatim, regulate how we act with one another. They must have been of immediate, practical use, even in the desert; they dealt with slavery, mayhem, and stealing, among other sins. Even more basic are the foundational principals of justice – some explicit and some implicit, but clear in their meaning. The Torah is clear about equality. No one is above the law. Individuals of all stations in life and society must be treated equally. It does not matter if they are of high rank or not. It is of no concern whether they are men, women or small children: the law is equal to all of them.

These laws are as relevant today as they were in ancient times. Mishpatim makes clear, for example, that Judaism abhors the abuse of children.

As the Torah well understands, child molestation is an ancient vice. It has become much more widely discussed because of several recent scandals, mostly in religious institutions.

There are some objective reasons why such things happen quite often in religious institutions. Children are taught and trained to be obedient and to accept their elders as authorities – which makes it so much more difficult for them to resist abuse or to report it. Unfortunately there is no sex education in some of the schools; nor is the subject discussed in some homes. So when something like this happens, it takes time for a child to understand it and even more than that – to talk about it.

Child molestation almost always causes enormous, multi-level damage to the victim's soul: it may make the victim unable to form healthy relationships. They may lose trust in people, because the molesters are often those who were supposed to be their caretakers and protectors.

It should also be stressed over and over again that this crime of child molestation is not just a civil offense: it is also a very severe religious crime. Under Jewish law, it may even deserve capital punishment. Offenders may also be liable for the most severe punishment of karet (untimely death by the hands of the Almighty).

It is important to say all that because there is a tendency to cover up such incidents, especially in institutions, and sometimes even to protect the perpetrators. Partly this is so because those in charge are often more in touch with the molester – who may be a colleague or a friend – than with the children. This is especially the case since children hardly ever express their hurt. And, of course, institutions do not want their reputations to be harmed.

The first and foremost duty of any educational institution, and the prime responsibility of its heads and leaders, is to be rid of anyone who causes such great harm. Good reputation or personal friendships must by no means stand in the way of investigation and clean-up.

We must make sure that such a person will never again be in a position to repeat such offenses. It is therefore not enough to fire the perpetrator from his (or her) work place: it is both the organization’s and society’s duty to make sure that the crimes are known and punished.

As Mishpatim reminds us, no one is above the law. Child molestation is not a local problem; seemingly, it has been with us for millennia. Our duty is to diminish, even eradicate, this evil as much as humanly possible.

Rabbi Steinsaltz, who lives in Jerusalem, is a teacher, philosopher and author who has translated the Talmud into Hebrew and English.

Originally published at The Jewish Week

Domestic Abuse : Torah Advice from Rabbi Mizrachi

If you are a Jewish woman in a physically abusive marriage, if you are searching online for Torah guidelines on Jewish domestic abuse, if you have been given bad advice by someone and told to keep quiet about it for the sake of ''Shalom Bayit'', if you are in any way doubtful of whether you should go to the police or not, then please watch this very short video from Rabbi Mizrach. The Torah does not condone violence by a husband.

And to anyone who wants to comment that in this day and age people should know this..... I'm here to tell you that they don't.  Thank you Rabbi Mizrachi for speaking up.

Pray For Her

Written by Adina Bensoussan 

URGENT: I know a woman who is in desperate need of help. She is in an abusive relationship, a victim of domestic violence. She is regularly beaten, cut, and her life threatened. Any time she tries to fight back, the community leaders tell her that she is wrong to do so.

They ask her questions:

What did you do to incite the violence?

Maybe you said something to cause anger?

Maybe you didn't make supper in time?

Maybe the house wasn't in order?

They urge her not to fight back. They say she must deserve it for some reason. Go home. Resume your life. Just keep low, stay quiet. Maybe give him some more space in your home. Try to give him things to make him happy. She does. She listens. She gives him sentimental gifts that were given to her by her parents. All in the name of peace. Anything for peace.

But he's insatiable. No matter how much she gives, he always wants more. The only thing that seems to make him happy is her suffering, and her death.

She listens to what her leaders say, for all she wants is to live in peace. Enjoy her home. Enjoy the sun. Enjoy her family.

After each domestic explosion, things calm for a short period of time until she's beaten again. She asks why. The answer? Because I can. Because you breathe. Because I decided that you shouldn't be in existence. Yes, you give me things, but I just destroy them. I pretend I want peace, but I just want to hurt you. Your suffering makes me happy.

When they go to the hospital after a fight, the doctors tend to him first. Assess his injuries. Patch him up. Give him pain medication. They write in his medical chart that he was attacked. Beaten. They ask her if she's hurt.....Yes? Just walk it off. Stop complaining. Stop causing violence.

She is confused. No one is helping her. Everyone is blaming her. How can people be so ignorant? How can they blame a woman who lives in fear of being killed....for the sole reason of just existing?

Always blamed. No matter what, always her fault. But faulted for what? For providing him with a beautiful home that she literally built from nothing? For allowing him to live freely? For feeding him? For taking care of his every need? But yes, his anger is her fault. At least that's what everyone is telling her.

But she alone knows the truth. She and G-d. She's stopped trying to convince people otherwise. She's tired of the beatings. Tired of living in fear. Tired of the attacks. She's ready to live without fear. She's ready to fight back despite everyone telling her not to.

The only thing she needs? G-d. She calls all of her friends and asks them to pray for her. Be better people for her. Care for each other, for her. Provide her with as many merits as they can, because she knows the fight may be ugly, but that Gd and her ability to be close to Him is her only weapon. And with that, she will prevail. She will survive. She will prosper.

She's asking that we pray for her.

Her name: ISRAEL.

However, as is true for many women, the world severely underestimates her strength.

Seeking Forgiveness from the Abused

Rabbi YY Jacobson delivers a powerful Elul message to survivors of child sexual abuse and to the Jewish community.

 

Mind Games



Art: Mike Worrall

The Baal Shem Tov said : "The world is a mirror. The defects you see in others are really your own."


That solves one problem: if we see a defect in someone else, we can rest assured that defect exists in us too, otherwise we wouldn't have noticed it.

But what happens when that defect does not exist in you, and therefore you don't notice it in someone else........ ?

That's how simple, naive, innocent people fall for con-artists [and narcissists]. These innocent people don't possess a sneaky or manipulative trait: for them, it would be unthinkable to deceive someone else or use a friend to further their own agenda.... and therefore they do not realize when they are being taken for a ride, being used and manipulated.

They didn't see it, because they don't have that quality themselves.

When the truth finally hits, that they have actually been deceived, they are in a state of shock. It's hard to believe, how could this happen? Sometimes the victim may turn nasty and try to shoot the messenger, but ultimately, once they have given the matter a lot of thought, they should realize that the "messenger" was the one they should be thanking for waking them up and ensuring that they will be on their guard in future relationships.

It's no crime to be innocent and naive, in fact it's a virtue, but these days the world is a very dangerous place, and we need to be on the alert for anyone who's messing with our minds.

Geneivat da'at - Theft of the Mind - is the worst theft of all.

Geneivat da'at is not limited to con-artists..... it's practised all the time by abusers and manipulators.  They do the crime, but they won't admit it, or accept responsibility for it.  Instead, they'll blame you, the victim, for everything, and bring attention to your defects in order to take the heat off themselves.   They will try to discredit you in every way possible in order to ensure that no-one will listen to a word you're saying.

Be aware that this is how abusers behave, and be on your guard in the future. Get as far away from these people as you can, and don't go back. 

Abusive Parents

Abusive Parents: A Video from Rabbi Simon Jacobson This video is an eye-opener for adults healing from childhood abuse.

 

An Open Letter on Abuse, by Rabbi Y. Y. Jacobson

B”H. The month of liberation, 5773. March 2013.

Dear Jewish Community Watch,

In response to your request—as well as to the many other inquiries and requests for my reaction to the issue of child abuse.

First, I want to express my sincere gratitude and accolades for all the hard work you and various other organizations and individuals are doing to put an end to the devastating crime of CSA, which has wreaked utter havoc in scores of innocent lives over so many years.

Sadly, many people, including some in leadership positions, are ill-informed of the detrimental effects of child molestation. The average person who has not suffered through CSA doesn’t realize how so many of the abused suffer for years or decades from feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, shame, guilt, and pain. Many of the victims—due to their profound pain and skewed sense of self—find temporary relief in all forms of destructive behavior, including molesting a new generation of children. Many of them fall prey to terrible addictions in order to escape their agony. Untold numbers of these innocent souls are haunted by unbearable nightmares that won’t allow them to lead a normal life internally. Most of them struggle to maintain functional marriages, since their sexual boundaries have been brutally violated.

Though recovery is surely possible—for the soul is more powerful than all else, and the Divine infinite power within each of us can overcome all darkness—the pain they must endure is heart-wrenching.

Many people are equally ill-informed of how rampant the problem is, and of the great number of our youth that have been victimized over the years.

But, thankfully, a new dawn has arrived.

Ever since dedicated volunteers have taken action and established organizations to combat this ugly malady, the issue of child molestation has been brought to the forefront of the community’s attention. It is no longer possible to ignore the seriousness of this epidemic. At last, we have begun—and only begun—to take the necessary steps to eradicate this black stain for good.

Initially, when the efforts began to expose predators’ names and photos, I was concerned that some activists would become obsessed with “witch hunting” and would inadvertently accuse innocent people of committing these terrible crimes—forever tainting their reputation. I was afraid that these investigations might not be thoroughly reviewed and vetted with the hyper-sensitivity and professionalism that this issue calls for. (I still shudder at the thought of an individual’s life being ruined by some mean-spirited person who has an axe to grind.) However, after much scrutiny I have learned that these investigations are thorough and honest. I have also learned that in cases where a past abuser is ready to be fully accountable and to do what it takes to help the victim through the healing-process (and, obviously, with experts testifying that he/she no longer poses a danger to the public), the abuser’s identity is not exposed. Additionally, I am also aware of dozens of cases presented to Jewish Community Watch that are not brought to light due to a lack of sufficient evidence.

Given the above, it is my heartfelt hope that all parents, rabbis, leaders, community activists, educators, principals, spiritual mentors, therapists, social workers and counselors will begin educating themselves regarding the lifelong effects of child molestation. They will then come to understand the untold suffering brought upon victims of CSA. Just as we would do anything to stop a gunman from walking our streets and taking lives, heaven forbid (what Jewish law calls a “rodef”), so must we do anything and everything to stop the people who are murdering the psyches and emotional innocence of our children.

We must also begin educating every single one of our young adults about two critical factors: 1) If they have been molested, help is available. They must know that if they will break the silence and reveal their story, they will be embraced rather than shunned, and will be guided with loving care towards a life of wholesomeness and happiness. We must give all of them the names and contact information of approved professionals, so they can reach out to them if necessary. 2) Preventive medicine: If they might ever be prone to engage in these terrible acts themselves, they must know: A) the horrific impact of such actions, and B) that there are things they can do to help them avoid becoming potential monsters who will surely destroy lives. They must all know that help is readily available for people with an inclination toward touching children inappropriately.

Parents and educators must discuss these dangers with their children and students—both the danger of becoming a victim, as well as the danger of becoming an abuser. Every—and I mean every—Yeshiva bachur must be educated about these two items.

We must also educate the community—both children and adults—on how important it is to talk to someone if they are privy to any sort of abuse being perpetrated in the community. To withhold this kind of information is essentially akin to being an accomplice and an enabler of the unthinkable crime of destroying lives in this vicious cycle. Most victims are too afraid or ashamed to speak up—and surely it is not their fault. They are terrified of being shunned, not believed, and of the possibility of being rejected forever. That is where our community stands today. We must change that and teach all of our youngsters that they will be heard, listened to, believed, and embraced with a loving heart and open arms. They will not be judged or ridiculed. We will treat their pain with the deepest respect and empathy.

***

Lest you think that the above information is based on speculation, I must tell you that unfortunately that is not the case. I come here today after many years of learning firsthand about the tragic plight of victims, and the ugly plight of abusers—who in the process of murdering others, murder themselves, too. It is now abundantly clear to me that by educating every boy and girl in our educational institutions about the horrors of CSA as outlined above, we will literally rescue countless precious souls from untold years of misery.

One case in point: A young man asked to meet with me some time ago. His story is not uncommon: He had been sexually molested in a particular Yeshiva by an older student who had been studying in this Yeshiva and was serving as a spiritual mentor of sorts to younger students. As the victim grew older, he in turn began to molest children himself, including his own siblings. (One of the facts about CSA is that it is often committed by close relatives or friends, and sometimes by very religious-looking people.) Concurrently, he had also become addicted to viewing unmentionable smut, which became part of his daily routine. He completely lost his boundaries for intimacy. Though he was—and still is—an extremely good-hearted young man, he was trapped in the disease of addiction and paralyzed by endless shame and guilt. He got married, but his marriage inevitably soon became dysfunctional. Floundering to survive, he discovered addictive drugs and was soon using them every day—including Yom Kippur. Finally, after hitting “rock-bottom,” this shattered “abused-abuser” shared his story with me. It was the first time that he had shared his true story with anyone, and it took him more than twenty years for to open up! He broke down and wept uncontrollably.

So many lives were destroyed from the actions of that older student. And so many lives could have been spared if the young man, the initial victim, would have known as a young adult that help is available and that he didn’t have to suffer all alone.

The brokenness and utter despondency I observed in this young man—and in many others with similar stories–is typical of victims of CSA. Many of them feel broken and crushed to the very core of their existence. Having been violated in the most vulnerable, holiest, and most sensitive part of their being—the part within us that most reflects G-d, possessing the ability to create new life—makes them feel like their lives are worthless.

Too much blood has been shed on the altar of silence and fear without anyone uttering even a cry. Victims have lived far too long by the code of shame and silence, always blaming themselves for the cruelty of their perpetrators. The devil of abuse has been allowed to grow strong and rampant because of our silence. It is time to declare all-out war—a war of information and education—against the silent bullets that have claimed thousands of our holiest and most beautiful souls.

We as a community must—and will—come forward publicly to support every effort being made on behalf of our innocent and precious youth. With Hashem’s help, we will succeed.

For such is the nature of light: it dispels even the densest of darkness.

Sincerely and thankfully, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson 

Dean, TheYeshiva.net

www.TheYeshiva.net

Why Do You Need to Control Me?

"Let My People Go!" But Can They Let Themselves Go?

by: Rabbi YY Jacobson 

Three Boys

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".

The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45"!

The First Commandment

The Biblical account of the Jewish Exodus from Egypt has been one of the most inspiring stories for the oppressed, enslaved and downtrodden throughout history. From the American Revolution, to the slaves of the American South, to Martin Luther King’s Let Freedom Ring, the narrative of the Exodus provided countless peoples with the courage to hope for a better future, and to act on the dream.

Moses’ first visit to Pharaoh demanding liberty for his people only brought more misery to the Hebrew slaves; the Egyptian monarch increased their torture. The Hebrews now would not listen any longer to the promise of redemption. Now let us pay heed to this strange verse in the weekly portion, Vaeira:

So G-d spoke to Moses and to Aaron, and He commanded them to the children of Israel, and to Pharaoh the king of Egypt, to let the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt. [1]

G-d is charging Moses with two directives: Command the people of Israel and then command Pharaoh the king. However, the verse is ambiguous: What did G-d command Moses to instruct the people? The message for Pharaoh is clear: Let the children of Israel out of Egypt. But what is it that Moses is supposed to command the people themselves? The Jerusalem Talmud [2] says something profoundly enigmatic:

G-d instructed Moses to command to the Jewish people the laws of freeing slaves.

The Talmud is referring to a law recorded later in Exodus: [3] If a Jew sells himself as a slave, the owner must let him go after six years. He is forbidden to hold on to the slave for longer. This was the law Moses was to share with the Israelites while they were in Egyptian bondage.

The Basis for the Commentary

The Talmud bases this novel and seemingly unfounded interpretation on a fascinating narrative in the book of Jeremiah: [4]

Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying: So says the Lord G-d of Israel; I made a covenant with your fathers on the day that I brought them forth out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slaves, saying: "At the end of seven years you shall let go every man his brother Jew who has been sold to you, and when he has served you for six years you shall let him go free from you."

The question is, where do we find a covenant made by G-d with the Jewish people when they left Egypt to free their slaves? In a brilliant speculation, the Talmud suggests that this is the meaning of the above enigmatic verse, “G-d spoke to Moses and to Aaron, and He commanded them to the children of Israel, and to Pharaoh the king of Egypt, to let the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt.” The commandment to the children of Israel was to set free their slaves.

Yet this seems like a cruel joke. The Children of Israel at this point were crushed and tormented slave themselves, subjugated by a genocidal despot and a tyrannical regime, enduring horrific torture. Yet at this point in time G-d wants Moses to command them about the laws relevant to the aristocrat, the feudal lord, the slave-owner?! [5]

What is more, as the Torah puts it: “G-d commanded them to the children of Israel, and to Pharaoh the king of Egypt to let the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt.” It seems like the two instructions—the one to the Israelites and the one to the Egyptian king—are linked. And furthermore: the commandment to the Israelites preceded the commandment to Pharaoh. But what does the commandment to the Jewish that they free their slaves one day in the future have to do with the mission to Pharaoh to set the Hebrews free from bondage?

Who Is Free?

The answer to this question is profoundly simple and moving, and is vital to the understanding of liberty in the biblical imagination.

Before Pharaoh can liberate the Jewish slaves, they must be ready to become free. You can take a man out of slavery, but it may prove more challenging to take slavery out of a man. Externally, you may be free; internally you may still be enslaved.

What is the first and foremost symptom of bring free? That you learn to confer freedom on others.

The dictator, the control freak, or the abusive spouse or parent, does not know how give others freedom. He (or she) feels compelled to force others into the mold that he has created for them. Uncomfortable in his own skin, he is afraid that someone will overshadow him, expose his weaknesses, usurp his position or make him feel extra in this world. Outwardly he attempts to appear powerful, but inwardly his power is a symptom of inner misery and confinement.

Only when one learns to embrace others, not for whom he would like them to be, but for whom they are, then can he begin to embrace himself, not for whom he wishes he was, but for whom he is. When we free those around us, we are freeing ourselves. By accepting them, we learn to accept ourselves.

Who is powerful? He who empowers. Who is free? He who can free others. Who is a leader? He who creates other leaders.

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power,” Abraham Lincoln said. Ask yourself, do you know how to celebrate the soaring success of your loved ones and constituents? Do you encourage them to spread their wings and maximize their potentials? Can you allow others to shine?

Pharaoh may set you free physically. But former slaves can become present tyrants. People who were abused often become abusers themselves. It is what they know about life; it is the paradigm they were raised with. They grew up in abuse and slavery, so they continue the cycle with others. The first Mitzvah the Jews had to hear from Moses before even he can go the Pharaoh to let them go free was: One day you will be free. Remember that freedom is a gift; use it to free others.

Source and footnotes: click here

Why Me?

by Rabbi Aron Moss

Question of the Week:

Does G-d pick on some people? I think he is picking on me because I have suffered one loss after another for much of my life. It seems that as soon as I have survived one tragedy, another one comes crashing down on me. I always bounce back but I am starting to take it personally...

Answer:

There was once a tow-truck driver who lived near a muddy old country road. Every day he would jump into his truck and drive a mile or so to a particularly sludgy bend in the road, and every day his truck would get stuck in the mud. But it was a trusty old truck, and its chunky tires and growling engine would always be able to beat the mud and climb up onto solid ground.

Most days, as he drove along he would encounter other motorists who had unknowingly ventured onto the muddy road and got stuck in the bog. Some of them had been trapped there for hours, haplessly revving their engines and watching their wheels spin aimlessly in the muck. The truck driver would appear like a savior and offer them a tow, drag them out and set them back on the road.

The truck driver's son once asked him, "Why do you always drive down this muddy road. You always get stuck in it. Why don't you take your truck somewhere smoother, where the road is clear and dry?"

"That's the whole point," said the truckie to his son. "My tow-truck has the power to get through that mud. The only reason I pass by there every day is to find others who are stuck and can't get out themselves. That's what a tow truck is for."

Some souls are like tow-trucks. They somehow have the strength to burst through the thickest and muddiest roads of life. No matter what life throws at these people, they muster the inner fortitude to get through. And so they keep getting thrown into the abyss, over and over again.

What these souls probably don't even realize is that they are helping others. When you face a tough time and beat it, you bring light into that dark place, which can shine a path for others who are stuck in their own darkness. It could even be that the only reason you had to pass through that dark roadway is to help drag other souls out of their darkness.

Sometimes we help others directly, by sharing our experiences and teaching a new way to those who can't see a way out. Or it may happen indirectly. The mere fact that you went through it and survived blazes a pathway, opens a door, and other suffering souls whom you may never meet suddenly find a way out of their quagmire and are set free.

So perhaps you are a tow-truck soul. Perhaps sometimes you are being towed. We all experience both. But if we would realize that every time we conquer our own darkness we may be helping someone who can't help themselves, we would be inspired to keep on trucking.

How to Deal with Addiction

The Fear of Setting Yourself Free

By: Rabbi YY Jacobson

Rage Therapy

A man visiting a bar each evening, would routinely throw glass cups at the bartender and at the people sitting around and drinking. Yet he always made sure to follow up his violence by pleading for forgiveness. “I suffer from uncontrollable rage and I am deeply ashamed of it; please forgive me for my embarrassing and unforgivable behavior,” he would always say.

Finally, the bartender made an ultimatum with the man. He could not come back to the bar unless he underwent therapy for a full year. The man consented. He did not show up at the bar any longer.

After the year finally passed, the man showed up at the bar one evening. Lo and behold he took a glass and threw it right at the bartender.

“What’s going on?” the bartender thundered.

“Well, as you have suggested, I went to therapy,” the man replied, “and now I am not embarrassed anymore.”

Animal Laws

This week's Torah portion [Mishpatim] deals with the laws of animals that damage other people's animals or property (1). Say, for example, your domesticated usually well-behaved dog goes berserk and it suddenly attacks and bites another person's or dog in a public place. Or your domesticated bull suddenly and uncharacteristically gores and kills another bull. What's the law?

For the first three incidents, says the Torah, the owner of the bull pays for only half of the damage. Since it is unusual for the bull to let lose and gore somebody, the owner of the bull was not expected to be vigilant against it. Therefore, he is not deemed completely responsible for the loss and he splits the loss with the owner of the wounded animal.

This is true only for the first three incidents. After three incidents of such aggression, it is now established that this bull (or dog) is of a destructive nature and the owner is expected to guard his animal and is fully responsible for all damages done as a result of his failure to guard it (2).

Is "Repentance" Possible?

How about reorientation?

Can a bull or any other animal that went astray, resume their original status of innocence?

Yet, says the Talmud (3). This can be achieved in two ways. Either the owner rigorously trains his animal until its disposition is transformed from an aggressor to a restful animal. Another option states the Talmud, is to sell the animal or grant it as a gift to another person. With a new owner and new patterns and schedules, the Halacha (Jewish law) assumes the animal, coming from a species that is usually domesticated and well behaved, to be nonviolent until it is proven destructive again (4).

The Psychological Dimension

We pointed out numerous times that each law of the Torah contains in addition to a concrete, physical interpretation, also a psychological and spiritual rendition. This is one of the primary functions of the Jewish mystical tradition -- Kabbalah and Chassidism -- to explain the metaphysical meaning behind each law and Mitzvah of the Torah and the Talmud.

How can we apply the above-mentioned set of laws to our personal lives?

The Mystical Animal

Each of us possesses an animal within, an earthy and mundane consciousness that seeks self-preservation and self-enhancement. In the Jewish tradition, in contrast to some other traditions, the human animal is not seen as inherently evil and destructive, only as potentially evil and destructive.

Originally, when we are born, the animal within our psyche is innocent and even cute, like a cute little puppy. Its primary goal is merely to preserve its existence, to gratify its natural quests, and to enjoy a good and comfortable life. However, if our animal consciousness is not educated, cultivated and refined, this cute innocent animal can become a self-centered beast; sometimes the beast can turn into a monster, prone to destroy itself and others in its quest for self-enhancement and self-aggrandizement. Sometimes our animal can become addicted to various things (food, drugs, nicotine, alcohol, sexuality etc.) to desperately fill a void it’s experiencing.

Many people's animals do indeed become, at one point or another, damaging forces, causing pain to themselves or to others. Yet there are two categories of damaging human animals. One who's moments of aggression are seen as unusual deviations, and one in whom these destructive patterns become common behavior.

In cases where the animal is generally moral and decent and its act of destruction is an unusual anomaly, the Torah states, we ought to be more understanding of the "owner" of the animal. Nobody is entitled to gore or bite another human being ever, yet practically speaking we need to remember that even the most gentle husband could lose himself and raise his voice in rage and even the most loving woman may, in a moment of stress, make an obnoxious comment. It is painful, mends must be made, but it’s not the end of the world.

As long as the offender acknowledges his or her wrongdoing and accepts accountability for it, understanding and forgiveness should follow.

To be human is to err. Our goal is not perfection but accountability. Life will sometimes throw a curveball your way and in the shock that follows you may lose yourself and begin to “gore.” As long as you are accountable for your actions and words, your negative behavior is considered an “anomaly,” an aberration to your natural self.

But, if the incidents of abuse and destruction persists -- for example, if a husband continuously shouts at his spouse or children, or a person in leadership position shatters the lives of people under his control, or a wife has only derision for her husband, or a person cannot control their food or sexual addiction -- this behavior should not be condoned. We are dealing with an animal whose selfish, destructive and unhealthy inclinations have become the norm.

Making mistakes is part of life. But when these mistakes become regular habits, without being controlled and stopped, they are dangerous. Now they have turned into a life style, a routine, sometimes an addiction. The owner of this kind of animal cannot excuse himself or herself by saying, “I did not realize, I did not know.” He or she must take the bull at its horns (pun intended) and control it.

But how does such an animal return to its original innocent status? How does an animal gone wild regain the trust of the people it has hurt so badly? How can you change your life around?

Two Paths to Recovery

Two roads are available.

The first is a rigorous process of self-refinement, in which the animal learns to confront and challenge its deepest fears and urges and to de-beast its abusive character.

Yet, even before you manage to work through all of the dark chambers of your wild animal, the teachings of Judaism present another alternative as well: To change the jurisdiction of the animal.

Take your animal and submit it to the higher power, to the property of G-d. Even before elevating your animal to a higher realm, surrender it to the higher reality. Take your rage, your addictions, your depression, and your fear and submit them to G-d.

From G-d’s perspective, the universe is created anew at every single moment. You, I and all of existence are being re-created at each and every moment. So right now at this moment you can put your past demons to rest and start anew. You are a fresh newborn.

Talk to your animal, and reflect together on the following truth. Yes, I know that you have a complicated past and I am not denying that; I know you believe that you are prone and addicted to all types of behavior. But right now, my dear animal, we will look to the present, and we will live in the present. You and I were just created anew. With a clean slate. So let us finally begin to live. For real.

Yes, I know it is scary to really feel that you do not have luggage from the past and that you need to take full responsibility for your future, but please let us muster our courage and view ourselves from the perspective of existing in G-d’s domain. In His world, everything is recreated each moment. We can liberate ourselves from our past and defy ominous predictions of our future, as long as we do it now.

If you are serious, your animal will listen.

The Prisoner’s Dilemma

I read this fabulous story: [click here for the full story : article by Dov Greenberg]

In the 16th century, an innocent Jew was thrown in prison by a feudal baron who gave him a life sentence. For some reason, this tyrannical baron decided to show the man a bit of mercy. He told him, “Look Jew, you’re my prisoner for life, there’s nothing that will change that. But this I will do for you: I will grant you one day of freedom a year during which you can return to your family. Do whatever you want. I don’t care which day you choose. But remember, you have only one day a year.”

The man was conflicted. Which day should he choose? Should he choose Rosh Hashanah, to hear the sounding of the shofar? Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year? Passover, to celebrate a seder? His wedding anniversary?

This prisoner, not being able to make up his mind, wrote a letter to one of the rabbinic leaders of that generation, the Radbaz, asking for his advice.

The Radbaz said the prisoner should choose the first available day. Whatever it is, grab it now, don’t wait — be it a holiday, a Shabbat, a Monday, a Wednesday.

A Flood of Positive Energy

This was a marvelous reply. More important, it holds true for us as well.

Practically speaking, take your self and your animal and submit them to G-d, by submerging yourself in goodness and holiness. Fill your days and nights with meaningful and good behavior, with the study of Torah, the observance of Mitzvos, with acts of goodness and kindness and with a life of productivity and meaning, and much of the evil of the animal will wither away.

To post a comment on this article, or to view the footnotes please click here

Teaching Rabbis about Abuse

If you're an orthodox woman who is a victim of domestic violence, your biggest nightmare could just end up being the rabbi you turn to for help. Unfortunately there is a tendency amongst some rabbis to defend the abusive man, and blame the woman for not being able to hold the marriage together.

This is a very real problem all over the world: many victims of domestic violence are already ashamed of their situation, they don't need to be condemned by anyone, never mind their spiritual leader. Thankfully, things are changing now, although there is still a long way to go.

12 June 1994 [also known as Gimel Tamuz] - the day of the passing of the Lubavitcher Rebbe zt'l from this world - was the same day that the notorious OJ Simpson murdered his wife and her friend - and as nothing in this world happens randomly, there is a message there for all orthodox Jews....if they care to notice.

There is an excellent article at Ynet: A Room of Their Own  about a Shelter for abused religious women which offers help in a community that views leaving home as betrayal.

One of the main issues that the organization deals with is teaching and guiding rabbis on this issue. "It's important to give the rabbis the tools. Many times an abused woman will go to a rabbi, and it is important to let the rabbis know what the options are and give them the tools to support these women," Korma says.

In order to approach rabbis in the ultra-Orthodox communities, the organization produced a movie and special pamphlet, wherein it gathered all the Halachic (religious law) sources forbidding violence against women. In N.'s case, the rabbi she went to tried to convince her she was imagining things. "Sometimes I almost believed him, maybe I'm not ok, maybe I'm wrong, and maybe my 'tzadik' husband doesn't treat me that way..." she says.

N. has some advice to women in her situation. "Don't be silent; don't turn a blind eye. During the engagement period, if there is something wrong, speak up. After marriage don't let the snowball effect of violence grow bigger. Turn to the right people or it will just get worse. The damage to the children, living under terrorist rule, is tremendous'' she says.

To read the article click here 

Two Approaches to Toxic Situations

by Rabbi Michoel Gourarie

One of the strongest powers of influence is our surrounding. Our friends, family, acquaintances and work colleagues have a strong impact on our development and behavior .Sometimes the environment can be negative or toxic. The people around us may create a culture of negativity that poses an enormous threat to our growth. Even if we are strong on the inside we are still vulnerable and can be adversely affected by forces on the outside. How do we protect ourselves from dangerous influences from those around us?

Remaining in, or coming to terms with a negative surrounding is too dangerous. We only have two options. The first is to remove ourselves from the environment. The second is to infect others with positive energy until the culture is transformed.

The Torah tells of two great men that lived in challenging times and were threatened by a toxic culture of evil behavior and distorted values. The first was Noah and the second Abraham. Noah was righteous and deserved to be saved even when the world was being flooded and destroyed. However the Torah also criticizes him for failing to influence and change those around him. He achieved salvation by distancing himself from the rest of society. Abraham on the other hand, was able to generate positive energy. His belief, kindness and sense of love became infectious. He inspired, educated motivated and encouraged others to come around to a belief system that taught morality, faith, goodness and kindness. He and Sara began as a tiny team fighting the entire world, but ended with a tremendous following of people with positive values.

The Torah tells us about both these great people, because they both have something to teach us. Sometimes the Noah model is the only option. We must make our positive development a priority which sometimes means moving away from negative influence. However, the preferred model is that of Abraham. We need to learn to communicate our values and attitudes with warmth excitement and enthusiasm. Our convictions and commitment to growth should be so strong that they become contagious. Our journey of life should be filled with such happiness that it becomes an attractive option to those around us.

Why do you need to control me?

"Let My People Go!"

But Can They Let Themselves Go?

By: Rabbi YY Jacobson

Three Boys

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging how great their fathers are.

The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".

The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45"!

The First Commandment

The Biblical account of the Jewish Exodus from Egypt has been one of the most inspiring stories for the oppressed, enslaved and downtrodden throughout history. From the American Revolution, to the slaves of the American South, to Martin Luther King’s Let Freedom Ring, the narrative of the Exodus provided countless peoples with the courage to hope for a better future, and to act on the dream.

Moses’ first visit to Pharaoh demanding liberty for his people only brought more misery to the Hebrew slaves; the Egyptian monarch increased their torture. The Hebrews now would not listen any longer to the promise of redemption. Now let us pay heed to this strange verse in the weekly portion, Vaeira:  ''So G-d spoke to Moses and to Aaron, and He commanded them to the children of Israel, and to Pharaoh the king of Egypt, to let the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt.'' [1]

G-d is charging Moses with two directives: Command the people of Israel and then command Pharaoh the king. However, the verse is ambiguous: What did G-d command Moses to instruct the people? The message for Pharaoh is clear: Let the children of Israel out of Egypt. But what is it that Moses is supposed to command the people themselves?

The Jerusalem Talmud [2] says something profoundly enigmatic: G-d instructed Moses to command to the Jewish people the laws of freeing slaves.

The Talmud is referring to a law recorded later in Exodus: [3] If a Jew sells himself as a slave, the owner must let him go after six years. He is forbidden to hold on to the slave for longer. This was the law Moses was to share with the Israelites while they were in Egyptian bondage.

The Basis for the Commentary

The Talmud bases this novel and seemingly unfounded interpretation on a fascinating narrative in the book of Jeremiah: [4]

''Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying: So says the Lord G-d of Israel; I made a covenant with your fathers on the day that I brought them forth out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slaves, saying: "At the end of seven years you shall let go every man his brother Jew who has been sold to you, and when he has served you for six years you shall let him go free from you."

The question is, where do we find a covenant made by G-d with the Jewish people when they left Egypt to free their slaves? In a brilliant speculation, the Talmud suggests that this is the meaning of the above enigmatic verse, “G-d spoke to Moses and to Aaron, and He commanded them to the children of Israel, and to Pharaoh the king of Egypt, to let the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt.” The commandment to the children of Israel was to set free their slaves.

Yet this seems like a cruel joke. The Children of Israel at this point were crushed and tormented slaves themselves, subjugated by a genocidal despot and a tyrannical regime, enduring horrific torture. Yet at this point in time G-d wants Moses to command them about the laws relevant to the aristocrat, the feudal lord, the slave-owner?! [5]

What is more, as the Torah puts it: “G-d commanded them to the children of Israel, and to Pharaoh the king of Egypt to let the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt.” It seems like the two instructions—the one to the Israelites and the one to the Egyptian king—are linked. And furthermore: the commandment to the Israelites preceded the commandment to Pharaoh. But what does the commandment to the Jewish people that they free their slaves one day in the future have to do with the mission to Pharaoh to set the Hebrews free from bondage?

Who Is Free?

The answer to this question is profoundly simple and moving, and is vital to the understanding of liberty in the biblical imagination.

Before Pharaoh can liberate the Jewish slaves, they must be ready to become free. You can take a man out of slavery, but it may prove more challenging to take slavery out of a man. Externally, you may be free; internally you may still be enslaved.

What is the first and foremost symptom of bring free? That you learn to confer freedom on others.

The dictator, the control freak, or the abusive spouse or parent, does not know how give others freedom. He (or she) feels compelled to force others into the mold that he has created for them. Uncomfortable in his own skin, he is afraid that someone will overshadow him, expose his weaknesses, usurp his position or make him feel extra in this world. Outwardly he attempts to appear powerful, but inwardly his power is a symptom of inner misery and confinement.

Only when one learns to embrace others, not for whom he would like them to be, but for who they are, then can he begin to embrace himself, not for whom he wishes he was, but for who he is. When we free those around us, we are freeing ourselves. By accepting them, we learn to accept ourselves.

Who is powerful? He who empowers. Who is free? He who can free others. Who is a leader? He who creates other leaders.

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power,” Abraham Lincoln said. Ask yourself, do you know how to celebrate the soaring success of your loved ones and constituents? Do you encourage them to spread their wings and maximize their potentials? Can you allow others to shine?

Pharaoh may set you free physically. But former slaves can become present tyrants. People who were abused often become abusers themselves. It is what they know about life; it is the paradigm they were raised with. They grew up in abuse and slavery, so they continue the cycle with others. The first Mitzvah the Jews had to hear from Moses before even he can tell Pharaoh to let them go free was: One day you will be free. Remember that freedom is a gift; use it to free others.

To leave a comment at Rabbi Jacobson's site, or to read the footnotes, please click here

''Chareidi Extremists are Animals''

Jerusalem - A well known Rosh Yeshiva who is also a popular figure in the Sephardi kiruv world had nothing but contempt and scorn for Charedi Israeli extremists.

Rabbi Rafael Zar, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Ohr Dor – Ohr Yehuda, a noted baal mussar and considered by some as a spiritual leader, had strong words for those who resort to extreme measures, in the name of tznius.

“They are the worst kind of evildoers, far worse than the most secular individual,” said Rabbi Zar. “If I could I would break their arms and legs. This is not just my opinion, it is the opinion of Chazal. They would catch them, give them lashes and break their bones for their appalling behavior.

Spitting on women? I am appalled by this and any true Ben Torah feels the same way about this garbage. The people who do this are nothing more than garbage and they bring a foul stench to the scent of Torah in this world. It is repulsive. To spit on a Jewish Girl? Who do you think you are?

Anyone whose middos are so corrupt, is not a Jew in my eyes. He is an animal.”

“Someone who commits a Chilul Hashem like this does not deserve to have a beard. It is an embarrassment. According to the Holy Tazdik Baba Sali Zt’l there are Jews that when they will go to gehenim, the fire will start from their beard, because they don’t deserve to have a beard.”

Source, video and full article at: VIN News