Introduction to Tikun haMidot Part 2

Part 2 of Rabbi Alon Anava's Tikun HaMidot

[Refinement of Character] From a Kabbalistic point of view, this “refinement of character” called Tikkun HaMiddot is very much part and parcel of the Divine purpose in creation. Even small improvements are vastly appreciated by G‑d. Every individual “refinement” or “correction” contributes to the general “World Refinement” [Tikkun Olam] which will be precipitated when Mashiach will come.

At 21:00 on the video he explains why it is bad to hold your hands in a certain way, with the fingers interlocking the hands together.  I blogged this many years ago, but never had the full explanation of why.  Now I do!



Part 1 can be found here

Introduction to Tikun Hamidot

Introduction to Tikun Hamidot [Refinement of character] - By Rabbi Alon Anava

From a Kabbalistic point of view, this “refinement of character” called Tikkun HaMiddot is very much part and parcel of the Divine purpose in creation. Even small improvements are vastly appreciated by G‑d. Every individual “refinement” or “correction” contributes to the general “World Refinement” [Tikkun Olam] which will be precipitated when Mashiach will come.

Part 2 can be found here.

Past Life Sins

Art: K. Madison-Moore

In his commentary on the Book of Yonah, the Vilna Gaon writes 

“The main thing [to keep in mind is that the purpose of reincarnation] is to effect the repair of a [negative] influence originating in a previous lifetime... [One way] to discern exactly what that negative influence is is to reflect upon the type of wrong your soul yearns after the most in this lifetime. That which you yearn after most is likely something you became habituated to in a previous life. And therefore pay attention to your vices. [They tell you exactly what you have to work on in this lifetime.] ...The main thing is to repair that which one stumbled in in a previous [life] ... How can one know what one stumbled in during a previous life? ... [Pay attention] to that particular sin one’s soul longs for greatly (for it was emblazened into the soul as a habit in the previous life). That’s why some people are drawn after one type of sin more than another. And that’s also why our Sages say that one must continually judge himself and weigh his actions..."

Note the subtle difference here between culpability and character improvement [tikkun]. Consider yourself not responsible for any sins you may or may not have done in a previous life, if you even had one (and/or know about it). Nevertheless, since in principle, at least, a previous life may be impacting on your present life circumstance, pay attention to your vices. Rather than limiting your free will, this information can, in theory, help it. For instance, you may feel you have no chance to overcome your lust for cheeseburgers. You may tell yourself you were born with this lust. It’s genetic. You feel you have no free will to oppose it. Every time you pass a McDonald’s you have to go in there and order a Big Mac.

However, if you take the Vilna Gaon’s teaching to heart, you may then come to realize that, although you are not now responsible for the sin of eating cheeseburgers in a previous life, you have this great lust as an opportunity for tikkun. Had it been just a regular lust for cheeseburgers your overcoming it may not be metaken (fix) the original weakness emblazoned into your soul. You don’t want this weakness when you are given your place in Eternity. So you were sent back here for the opportunity of eliminating the weakness; indeed, turning it into a strength. Overcoming this extra-powerful lust in this world turns your soul into a “body-builder’s” soul; perhaps even a “Mr. Universe” soul. It’s now stronger than it ever was. In any event, the point is that knowledge or even intuition about a past life can be a powerful aid to free will in this life.

Granted, it can theoretically create the opposite effect. A person may think, for example: What the heck; I’ll get it right in the next life. Or: If I didn’t get it right in the past what’s the point in trying in this life etc. The latter fear is the reason I believe the doctrine was restricted to Kabbalah, which ideally is reserved for select individuals of a higher spiritual standing to begin with.

Source: Jewish Soul Searching [unfortunately that site no longer exists]

The Tikkun of Tu B'Shvat

a Mystical Interpretation by David Aaron

The celebration of Tu B'Shvat--the 15th of the month of Shevat on the Hebrew calendar--is not mentioned in the Bible. The oldest reference is found in the Talmud, where Tu B'Shvat is called "the new year of the trees." The Talmud ascribes significance to this date only in terms of the legal implications of taking tithes [10%] from fruits.

About 500 years ago, the Kabbalists revealed the deeper meaning of Tu B'Shvat. They taught that Tu B'Shvat is an opportune time for rectifying the transgression of Adam and Eve. Amazingly, just through the simple act of eating fruit during the Tu B'Shvat festive dinner, we are able to contribute to this cosmic repair ["tikkun"].

But how? How are we "fixing" the transgression of Adam and Eve, according to the Kabbalists? First let's explore the transgression of Adam and Eve, and then we can understand the mystical meaning of the Tu B'Shvat holiday, and why eating fruit is the way we celebrate it.

Amazingly, just through the simple act of eating fruit during the Tu B'Shvat festive dinner, we are able to contribute to this cosmic repair of Adam and Eve's transgression The Torah says that G‑d put Adam and Eve in the garden "to work it and to guard it."[1] The Jewish oral tradition teaches us that this refers to the do's and don'ts of the Torah. The do's are called the "positive mitzvot" and the don'ts are called the "negative mitzvot." Adam and Eve were given very little to do: "eat from all the trees of the garden."[2] And their only don't--their single prohibition--was not to eat fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. [3] What was that about?

The Torah teaches that G‑d created the world so that we could experience goodness in general, and His goodness in particular. Experiencing His goodness—-bonding with G‑d—-is the greatest joy imaginable. G‑d empowers us to bond with Him by serving His purpose for creation. Just as when we do for others, we feel connected to them, so, too, serving G‑d enables us to bond with Him. Ironically, serving G‑d is actually self-serving—-profoundly fulfilling and pleasurable.

If we eat and enjoy the fruits of this world for G‑d's sake-—because this is what He asks of us-—then we are actually serving G‑d and bonding with Him. We serve G‑d by acknowledging that the fruits of this world are His gifts to us and by willfully accepting and enjoying those gifts.

The root of Jewish life is, in fact, enjoyment—-the pleasure of connecting to G‑d. We connect to G‑d by serving Him, and this means obeying His command to enjoy the fruits of this world.

While in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve's entire obligation was to enjoy all the lush fruits-—with the notable exception of one forbidden fruit. Sure enough, they went after that one. This misdeed demonstrated their confused orientation to the real meaning of pleasure. Rather than seeing the fruits as pleasurable because they are G‑d's gifts and enjoying them as part of their service to G‑d, they wanted to partake of them independently of G‑d-—in fact, contrary to His will.

The Art of Receiving

As already explained, real pleasure is experiencing a connection with G‑d. We enjoy the ultimate spiritual pleasure when we enjoy the physical pleasures of this world as part of our divine service. Then, the act of receiving and enjoying G‑d's gifts to us is amazingly transformed into a selfless act of serving G‑d.

We can understand now that G‑d’s only desire in giving Adam and Eve those two mitzvot was to give them the ultimate pleasure—-bonding with Him. True pleasure was not in the taste of the fruits, but in eating and enjoying these gifts from G‑d. This was the way to serve and connect with Him—-the Ultimate Pleasure.

But Adam and Eve misunderstood this. They did not see physical pleasure as a conduit to the spiritual pleasure of bonding with G‑d. Rather, they sought pleasure independent of G‑d.

This is the root of all wrongdoing: when instead of seeing the pleasures of this world as a gift from G‑d, enjoying them in the service of G‑d and using them as conduits to a connection to G‑d, we seek pleasure independent of any connection to G‑d. In other words, is the pleasure about us, or is the pleasure about our relationship with G‑d?

There is a fundamental difference between having pleasure and receiving pleasure. If we want to have pleasure, it doesn't matter where it comes from There is a fundamental difference between having pleasure and receiving pleasure. If we want to have pleasure, it doesn't matter where it comes from. Having pleasure is void of any connection to a reality greater than ourselves. It is simply a selfish desire to experience a particular pleasure for its own sake. Receiving pleasure, on the other hand, is rooted in the soul's desire to serve G‑d's purpose, which is to receive the ultimate joy of connecting to Him.

Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden fruit because they were confused about their purpose on earth and, consequently, what is truly pleasurable in this world. They were clueless about what would bring them meaning and joy in life.

Following Adam and Eve’s fatal mistake, G‑d told them, "Because you ate from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from, the earth has become cursed."[4] G‑d was not punishing the earth because of Adam and Eve's transgression; rather He was informing them that their distorted orientation towards physical pleasures has turned the earth into a source of curse rather than blessing for them and for their descendants.

Depending on how we view the physical world, it is cursed or blessed Depending on how we view the physical world, it is cursed or blessed. If we look at the physical world as a conduit to a connection with G‑d, and if, as a service to G‑d, we gratefully receive His gift of delicious fruits, we thereby experience His presence and the physical world becomes blessed. The physical world then becomes a bridge between the human and the divine. But if we fixate on the physical, independent of any relationship with G‑d, and mistakenly perceive this world as the source of our pleasure rather than as a bridge to G‑d, then this world becomes a barrier to G‑d and a curse for us.

Now that we understand the transgression of Adam and Eve, we can begin to appreciate how we can contribute to its rectification on Tu B'Shvat.

On Tu B'Shvat, the new sap begins to rise up into the trees. And we bring abundance to this process when we celebrate Tu B'Shvat.

More than the baby wants to suck, a mother wants to nurse. The Talmud says that more than the baby wants to suck, a mother wants to nurse. The mother not only gets tremendous pleasure from nursing her baby, but the flow of her milk is actually generated by its sucking. The more the baby wants to suck, the more milk the mother has to give. This principle also applies to our relationship to G‑d.

G‑d wants to give us the greatest of all pleasures, which is a connection with Him. But if we don't recognize that to be the greatest pleasure, and we don't want it, then He can't give it to us. Of course, G‑d could give it to us, but it would just be a waste, because we wouldn't recognize it for what it is.

The Power of a Blessing

On Tu B'Shvat, we take a fruit, and before enjoying it, we recite a blessing: "Blessed are you, G‑d ou G‑d, king of the universe, who creates the fruit of the tree." In other words, "You, G‑d, are the source of this blessing." In doing this, we attempt to rectify the transgression of Adam and Eve.

When I taste an apple with that kind of consciousness, I cannot but experience the presence of G‑d within the physical An apple is not just an apple; an apple is a blessing. Maybe I could believe that apples come from trees, but a blessing could only come from G‑d. If I really contemplate the mystery and miracle of the taste, fragrance, beauty and nutrition wrapped up in this apple, I see that it's more than just a fruit--it is a wondrous loving gift from G‑d. When I taste an apple with that kind of consciousness, I cannot but experience the presence of G‑d within the physical. When I recite a blessing before I eat and acknowledge it as a gift from G‑d, I reveal the divinity within it, and the transient sensual pleasure of the food is transformed, because it is filled with eternal spiritual pleasure. The food then feeds not only my body but also my soul. However, when I eat without a blessing, it's as if I stole the food. Perhaps it will nourish and bring pleasure to my body, but it will do nothing for my soul. The soul is only nourished when it experiences its eternal connection to G‑d.

Tu B'Shvat is an opportune time to celebrate how eating and enjoying the fruits of trees can be a bridge to G‑d, and how it can bring back the blessing to the earth.

When we enjoy the fruits of the previous year as wonderful gifts from G‑d and affirm our yearning for G‑d's presence manifest in the fruit, we are like a baby sucking its mother's milk with great appetite. We draw forth with great abundance the "milk of the earth"—-the sap in the trees rises up with great abundance, so that they will bear much fruit in the coming year.

Unlike Adam and Eve who sought pleasure separate from G‑d and who turned physical pleasure into a barrier to G‑d, we—-on Tu B'Shvat-—enjoy the fruits as G‑d's gift and experience their pleasure as a connection to G‑d. In this way we rectify the transgression of Adam and Eve. We free the earth from being a curse for us—-a barrier to G‑d. We transform it into a bridge, so that it becomes a wellspring of blessing and G‑d-given pleasure.

Footnotes
1. Genesis 2:15
2. Ibid. verse 16
3. Ibid. verse 17
4. Genesis 3:17

Source: Chabad

Also see: Tu B'Shvat and the Transformation of Eating and The Seven Species of Israel

R" Mendel Kessin: Obama, Trump, and The Future Of The World

A new shiur from Rabbi Mendel Kessin.

 

The POWER of Modesty

An amazing class by Rabbi Alon Anava about The Power of Modesty and the great spiritual levels a woman can reach by being modest.  Enlightening and highly recommended.

 

Toldot Tikkunim

According to kabbalistic teachings, Yitzchak corrected the spiritual damage caused by Adam's sin.

Therefore, just like Adam had been led by the ingenious plot of the serpent, the correction of Adam's sin had to come through ingenious trickery: ''Your brother came ingeniously and took your blessing''.  [Toldot 27:35]

Source: Likutei Sichos Lubavitcher Rebbe

The B’nei Yissachar takes this concept one step further. A number of commentators are bothered by the fact that Yaakov had to resort to such deceit in order to receive his father’s blessings. As the legitimate inheritor of Yitzchok’s spiritual legacy, shouldn’t Yaakov have been able to receive what he deserved in a more straightforward manner? 

Citing the Zohar HaKadosh, the B’nei Yissachar explains that Yaakov represented the tikkun [refinement] of Adam and his sins. Yaakov’s arch-nemesis was his wicked twin brother Eisav, who is described by the Torah [25:27] as a “yodeah tzayid” – hunter. The Targum Onkelos renders this phrase “gevar nachshirchon,” hinting that Eisav represented the nachash – serpent. Because the serpent enticed Adam and Chava to sin through tricky, underhanded methods, Yaakov had to rectify its previous triumph by successfully taking the blessings away from Eisav using similarly devious tactics.

The Arizal teaches that Rivkah was a gilgul [reincarnation] of Chava, the first woman. One of the purposes of reincarnation is to give a soul the opportunity to rectify the sins that it committed in an earlier lifetime. In what way did Rivkah correct the sin of Chava and atone for its consequences?

After the serpent convinced Chava to eat from the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge, she immediately gave some to Adam to eat. Rashi explains that she did so out of a fear that after her death, Adam would remain alive and would find another mate. As a result of his sin, Adam was cursed with death and with the pain and difficulty of sustaining himself.

Because Chava ensnared Adam in sin when he listened to her, her descendant Rivkah learned from her mistakes and rectified her sins. In contrast to Chava who caused Adam to eat something forbidden, Rivkah saved Yitzchak from eating from the food that Eisav brought him which was not properly slaughtered, and according to some opinions was dog meat [Targum Yonason ben Uziel 27:31].

Source: ShemaYisrael

Secrets of Reincarnation The Vilna Gaon on Yonah

A Glimpse into the world of Remez

Rabbi Eliyahu of Vilna, commonly known as the Gaon [literally "genius"] was probably the most influential Jewish leader in modern history. He never assumed any official position of leadership and spent his time in almost total isolation toiling day and night in torah study. He became the undisputed greatest torah scholar and kabbalist in modern history.

The book of Yonah is read every Yom Kippur in all orthodox synagogues. The simple meaning of the story contains the theme of repentance. However, as is known there are 4 main dimensions of interpretation in the torah. They are 1: "Pshat" [simple,literal meaning], 2: Remez [allusion, hinted], 3: Drosh [not explicit interpretation], 4: Sod [secret meaning, which form the acronym PaRDeS (orchard)]. The Vilna Gaon on Mishlei [1:6, commentary "chemda genuza"] explains: "The 4th level of Torah, called "Sod" [secret] is the inner and primary meaning. The other lower meanings, are also true, but serve primarily for the purpose of straightening a man in order that he be sufficiently spiritually developed to understand the Sod". These four dimensions of interpretation exist certainly in the 24 books of the bible but even in the mishna and in the talmud. 

Very few people can delve properly beyond the pshat. Only one who has attained mastery in the four levels can be capable of deciphering the hidden code. The Vilna Gaon was such a rare person and offers us a spectacular view of a parallel book of the Yonah story in the realm of "Remez". Note that the simple meaning of the book is also true as we see, for example, that the Midrash Raba lists the "special fish" which swallowed Yonah as one of the creatures specially prepared during the 6 days of the creation of the world. Yet in the Vilna Gaon's "remez" version of the story, the fish is not real but is only symbolic of the grave of Yonah. 

This parallel story of Yonah is one of a human being who got caught up in materialism, dies, goes through Gehinom [purgatory], and returns in a reincarnation. The Sages teach that the vast majority of people alive today are reincarnations, which are sent back down because they did not complete their previous "mission". So this book, can very well speak personally to many of us. In Chapter 4 verse 3 the Vilna Gaon gives us a sign into how to see what went wrong in our previous lives.

And how could one know what he corrupted before [in his previous gilgul]? There is on this two signs. One - that [sin] which he stumbles many times in this gilgul. On this they said "let him examine his ways", which ones does he stumble. Two - which sin does his soul desire greatly, because it was used to it previously and became second nature. Therefore there are some men who desire one sin more, and others who desire a different sin. And on this they said "examine his ways" - that he should also fix his ways.

To read the whole thing go to: a glimpse into the world of Remez

Anticipating the Geula

In his definitive work on Moshiach, Otzrot Acharit Hayamim, Rabbi Yehoshua Chayun of Bnei Brak quotes the Maharal: "The essence of yemos HaMashiach is the return of the world to its complete spiritual tikkun, as was in the time of Adam Harishon before the sin." 

In various places, such as Maseches Brachos it says: "There is no difference between the olam hazeh [this world] to Yemos Hamashaich [time of Moshiach] but for 'shi'abud malchuyos' [dominion of the nations].

The explanation for this given there, is that in Yemos HaMashiach, the way of the world will not change from its present state of nature to a way that goes against nature, etc., 'ein chadash tachas hashemesh' [there is nothing new under the sun]. Nevertheless, there will be a most awesome and wondrous change from its current shape and form, physically and spiritually, including the living, the inanimate, the vegetation, the desert and the people. And there is no contradiction here, for the world, as it will be in Acharis hayomim, is naught but a return to its original state before the aveira of Adam Harishon. 

Thus, indeed, 'ein chadash tachas hashemesh' for what was once is what will again be. 

There are many wondrous things written by Chaza"l about these times, but I will mention just two more: First, the biggest change in yemos Hamashiach is the cancellation of the yetzer hara [evil inclination]. The whole world will change immensely due to this great and wonderful chiddush. Animals will live in peace with each other  - can you imagine your neighborhood cats hanging out with the dogs and mice of the street?" There will be no money or financial dealings since there will be no more need for money. Hashem will directly give us our daily needs. 

One hint we have to the cancellation of money is in Maseches Sanhedrin 97, where it says, "ein ben Dovid ba ad shetichleh prutah min hakis [the son of David does not come until people's pockets are empty of even one penny]." 

We can understand this vital issue if we think carefully about what money has caused throughout the generations. All the gashmius and havalim [physicality and vanities] of the world start with money... and since there will be no more gashmius, everything will be purely for the sake of serving Hashem and for ruchnius [spirituality] -  there will thus be no more need for money, banks, etc. 

In the Nevuos [Prophets], we read that before Moshiach comes Hashem will take away all the gashmius.  His nation have so fallen in love with "es maahavecha". Therefore we can understand that a World of emes [truth] would have no need for gashmius and the likes and seeing as how it truly controls our lives, I'm sure we will not miss it when it is gone. 

Adapted from: Revach L'Neshama

Why Me

Art Tricia McKellar

Excerpts from an article by Nechama Greisman

Sometimes people look at difficulties in life as a punishment. According to Chassidus, when a person has to face tests and challenges in life, this is not because he deserves punishment. Rather, he has to face challenges in order to raise him up to a higher level. HaShem would like him to bring out his emunah — his faith and trust in G-d, or his ahavas Yisrael, his love for a fellow, or for the Torah. Let’s say you have to contend with a very, very unpleasant person. You say, perhaps, “Why did HaShem make me the daughter-in-law of this woman who is so difficult to deal with?” You keep saying to yourself, “My friend has such a nice mother-in-law; how come I got her?”

The answer is that perhaps HaShem wanted… not perhaps. HaShem definitely wanted you to work on a certain trait and you would never know how to work on it if you didn’t have practice. So this difficult person that you have to deal with is a way of bringing out or working or strengthening those middos [traits] that might be weak in you, but not in your friend. That’s why she doesn’t have that test. This is not, G-d forbid, a punishment.

Tests, or nisyonos, can generally be classified into two groups. There are nisyonos of poverty, whether material or spiritual, and there are nisyonos of wealth, whether material or spiritual. In the simplest sense, when a person lacks something in life, whether it’s a lack of money or a lack of personality traits that we would like to have, or lack of husband or lack of parents, or any lack, anything that we think we should have, or want to have and we don’t have, that is called a nisayon of poverty. When a person has wealth, more than other people are endowed with, such as intellectual wealth, good looks, outstanding qualities of some sort, or simply a lot of money — this is a test of wealth.

Each kind of test is given to a person to develop a different kind of middah that is vital for true service of HaShem.

A person could spend his whole life being very discouraged, depressed and angry over his lot in life, and it will lead him nowhere. However, a Jew who is filled with Torah will learn to deal with his situation.

One must realize that if HaShem placed him in a particular situation, this is for a reason. It is something that is clearly necessary for him, and it is certainly for his benefit. There is a story about a man who had a terrible wife. Later on, he found out that in a previous incarnation he was guilty of a sin that carried the death sentence. However, instead of administering the death sentence, the Heavenly Court decided that he would have a wife who would regularly shame him in public. Each time this happened, it removed part of the death sentence. We don’t always realize that when we experience some negative situation, it is part of the account from the past or the present. I once read an article that was written by a famous dancer in the New York City Ballet. She described the painful exercises that she had to go through to keep fit for performing on stage. She described it as actual physical pain. When you read it you say, Ribono shel Olam, who would want to be a dancer? It is such a terrible life. But there were plenty of rewards and that’s why she did it.

Similarly [lehavdil], when a person is imbued with faith in HaShem, he knows that sometimes he has to pay a price for other good things in life. Every painful experience for the body is a tikkun [rectification] for the soul. Suffering cleanses. Of course, this does not mean that one should look for suffering, G-d forbid. But if this happens by Divine Providence, then one must accept suffering with love, knowing that it is for the person’s own good. 

Acceptance is the first thing that the test of poverty is supposed to bring out. To accept it and not say it was a mistake, I don’t deserve it, this is bad. To say, “HaShem understands why it happened. He knows that it was addressed to me, it wasn’t a mistake, it wasn’t meant for someone else. If I got it, it’s my package, and that it truly is for the good, whether I understand it or not.” 

If anybody here in this room has gone through a difficult time, and I think every one of us has, in different ways, you will know that it isn’t easy to say these words and truly internalize them and believe them. For some people it can be a lifetime task learning to accept with love what HaShem gives us. But you don’t learn that unless you have this test. If you never had a hard day in your life how are you going to learn to accept difficulties? So HaShem gives one person an illness, another one has a child who has a problem, another one is not pretty, or whatever.

Source: Chabad

Tikkun for Embarrassing Someone

When one embarrasses someone else, not only does he commit a transgression between man and man, but he also violates G-d's command. In order to correct this, one needs to do the exact opposite of the wrong.

In this case, the sin includes hurting someone's feelings. Therefore, one needs to improve his respect and positive feelings for all people, especially towards friends. In addition, since embarrassing someone generally comes from having ego or anger, one must go to the other extreme in removing these ugly traits from his character. See Rambam, Laws of Personality Development, chapter 2.

Based on Igros Kodesh of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Vol. 16 #5863

Surrounded by Angels

Photo: Source unknown

Every action we do creates an angel. A good action creates a defending angel, a bad one creates a prosecuting angel.

One lie will lead to many more lies, creating more and more prosecuting angels.

Every day contains the potential for the creation of good angels who will defend and assist you in times of need.

The path you choose to follow is the path along which you will be lead. Good deeds will lead to more good deeds.... while lies and deception bring about a continuing cycle of lying to cover up the previous lies.

There is a way to break the cycle, and that is to about-turn, and retrace your steps. This is teshuvah - returning to the right path. This path ensures a continual helping hand from Above.

Any obstacles encountered whilst retracing your steps are called "tikunim" - corrections. Each one is a test, tailored to suit your needs. Passing each test is achieving a tikkun in that area, or with a particular person.

Sometimes tests come all at once, and sometimes they are few and far between. Each person will be given exactly what they require at exactly the right time.

Tikunim can also relate to actions done in past lives. You may have owed someone an apology from another lifetime. You have met up now, in order to achieve a rectification.

As long as you are on the right path, the obstacles will be easily taken care of. The key is to have trust [bitachon] in Hashem and never give up or be side-tracked. But even if this does happen, you can again retrace your steps and return. Teshuvah is never out of anyone's reach.

A life without bitachon leads to worry and anxiety:

ביטחון - bitachon - trust

דאגה - deagah - worry or anxiety

דאגה contains the first 5 letters of the alef-beis, minus the letter "beis" - which stands for "bitachon" showing us that a life without trust in Hashem will result in worry and anxiety.

באר - baer - is the Hebrew word for "well"

בור - bore - is the Hebrew word for "bore/pit"

Whilst they sound the same, and have similar meanings, there is a major difference between the two.

A Baer is a living well, a well containing water that is "alive".

A Bore is a hole, containing dead stagnant water or worse.

The difference between the two words in Hebrew is the Aleph in the centre of the word באר.

The Aleph represents Hashem [Adon Olam]. If you have Hashem in the middle of your life, you will access the well of the living waters. If you remove Hashem from the centre of your life, it becomes a bottomless pit.

Tikkun for an Evil Eye



Art: Linda Boucher

"He who possesses a beneficient eye shall be blessed." [Proverbs 22:9]

There is a “beneficient eye” and an “evil eye”. Both terms have been used for several millennia and are found in the Talmud as indicators of the measure of a man.

Abraham was the paradigm of one who possesses a “beneficient eye”. He always looked for good in others, and felt neither jealousy of, nor hatred for, his fellow man. Bilaam, on the other hand, epitomized the possessor of an “evil eye” – one who always looks for fault or is jealous of another’s possessions or status.

The Talmud, when referring to the evil eye, credits it with almost mystical powers. Looking at another’s possessions with jealousy in your eyes can cause evil to befall that person. For this reason Talmudic law forbids us to build our homes too close to that of our neighbours. Privacy is very important, lest we look upon our neighbours’ possessions with a covetous eye. Neighbours should maintain a reasonable distance between one another, or, at the very least, homes should be built with a separation and a space between them.

Having an “evil eye” is usually understood as looking at another person with the intent that evil should befall him. It also includes coveting another’s possessions, being annoyed at his success (as if his success somehow impinges on our ability to succeed in life), pettiness and so on.

Rebbe Nachman teaches that an evil eye leads to an increased breathing rate. Somehow, jealousy and rage at another’s success causes one to draw breath at an accelerated pace.The Talmud therefore teaches “The cup of benediction at the conclusion of a meal should be given to one with a good eye. It is thus written (Proverbs 22:9) “He who possesses a beneficient eye shall be blessed.” Do not only read “shall be blessed” but shall bless….”

Conversely, one should beware of people with stingy and jealous eyes, as King Solomon cautions (Proverbs 23:6) “Do not break bread with [one who possesses] an evil eye”.

It is not merely a matter of superstition. As much as a good eye blesses, an evil eye takes. The source of the power of the evil eye is greed. When one looks upon another's possessions with greed, and the other is in any way guilty of mis-using his money, or is otherwise unworthy of the wealth he possesses, he might lose his possessions, G-d forbid. Clearly the way we look upon another's possessions can arouse Divine judgment against him. In the same vein, when we view the possessions of others generously, we can with a mere look of our eyes, bring blessing upon them.

When we realise that the eyes are the "windows to the mind" the significance of "evil eye" increases.

Rebbe Nachman taught: Memory depends upon the eyes, as in (Exodus 13:9) "[the tefillin shall be as] a remembrance between your eyes". In order to guard one's memory, one must first guard oneself from an evil eye - from evil thoughts about others, from jealousy, and from all forms of negativity. The evil eye can cause harm not only to the one being focused upon, but also to the one who is focusing, to an even greater degree. Conversely, maintaining an evil eye goes hand in hand with forgetfulness."

Yet we needn't live in constant fear of the evil eye, of others who may wish us harm. Rebbe Nachman teaches that if we feel incapable of guarding ourselves against an evil eye, then we should flee from it. However, if we can come to understand the essence of the evil eye, our actions can be far more effective: we can rectify it.

For example, a person might have an evil eye against another's position in life. This evil eye stems from the fallen attribute of Malkhut (kingship) which, when blemished, leads to low self-esteem and the need to put others down in order to get ahead. To correct one's own fallen Malkhut, one should strive to elevate G-d's Malkhut - by learning Torah or by otherwise disseminating G-d's Name in the world. In this way, one demonstrates one's allegiance to G-d, rather than to one's own need for self-aggrandizement. This serves to rectify the evil eye of the fallen Malkhut at its root.

Source: "Anatomy of the Soul" - Chaim Kramer - from the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

When you invite jealousy, you're inviting negative energy from someone else. For this insensitivity or transgression on your part, you may incur a Divine consequence of losing some of your blessing. [If you give a child a toy and he hits his little brother with it, you might take the toy away. He's not using it the way you intended.]

Another spiritual rule that the kabbalists describe, explains the evil eye like this:

When someone stares at your blessing and thinks, "Why should so-and-so have that brand new Hummer? He's not so righteous. Why is God rewarding him?", it's like a complaint to Heaven, and an accusation that gets registered. The heavenly court then examines you and your blessing to determine if you in fact deserve it. If you don't, your blessing may be damaged or lost.

Of course, the accuser doesn't get off scott free, either, because then the heavenly court decides to investigate the accuser. "Who is this that comes to judge My child?" God asks.

So it's always a bad idea to give someone else an evil eye. And it's a bad idea to expose yourself to it, too.

Rectifying Past Lives

What happens to people who fail to do teshuvah for past wrong-doings - is there no hope for them?

The answer brings us to the Divine gift of reincarnation.

All Kabbalistic sources are in agreement: the soul (or the portion of the soul that requires it) will be reincarnated to rectify any wrongdoings committed in its previous lifetime. To facilitate this, the reincarnated individual will be drawn to the specific areas which require rectification (tikunim).

According to the Arizal, the Talmud [Shabbat 118b] alludes to this when it tells us that Rabbi Yosef was asked about his father Rabbah: "Which mitzvah was he most careful to perform?" The questioner knew that every Jew is required to fulfill all the mitzvot to the best of his ability. Clearly, however, he was asking a deeper question: if a person is inordinately connected to a particular mitzvah, it indicates that his entire mission in being born was to rectify that mitzvah. According to this, the questioner was asking which particular mitzvah had Rabbah's soul been lacking in his previous incarnation.

The Arizal writes that the same applies to every single individual. The main characteristics of one's spiritual weaknesses are the specific areas one must rectify [see Sha'ar HaGilgulim 16]

Everyone has difficulties in their character traits which G-d gave them to work on in this life. If they were given a problem, it is their task to find out how to use it in a way that serves G-d, rather than going against His directives.

The very thing which a person will have the most trouble doing, is perhaps the one thing they need to rectify in this life.

from the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

adapted by Chaim Kramer

[Igros Kodesh of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, vol 5, letter 1257]

You tell me you are giving the proper amount of tzedaka. However your shalom bayis (peace in the home) situation needs great improvement.

The fact that you are having great difficulties in this area is a sign that this mitzvah has not been completed in your previous life. The holy Arizal teaches us that most souls living in a body have been here before. The reason they come back again is to fulfil those mitzvos that they did not do properly the first time around.

Those mitzvos that they did complete in their previous lifetime do not require any more refinement, and therefore their observance is easy.

However, those mitzvos that one did not complete in his previous lifetime are the ones most difficult to do. The yetzer hara targets these non-completed mitzvos as the ones to oppose most.

The fact that the issue of shalom bayis is so difficult for you proves that it is a mitzvah which needs fulfilment. In your past lifetime you did not refine this mitzvah. Now is your opportunity.

The Obstructing Shadow - Part 2

continued from Part 1

by Rav Ephraim Kenig shlita [Reprinted with permission from Tzaddik Magazine]

Levels of Tzaddikim 

The world is divided into groups. Tzaddikim are also divided into different groups. There are tzaddikim in the category of Yesod Olam - foundation of the world - and there are tzaddikim on a lower level, yet the world's existence completely depends upon all of them. The holy Zohar explicitly states that the highest level in each generation is that of Moses. Afterwards, there are the thirty-six tzaddikim called the lamed vav tzaddikim. According to the Zohar, thre are 36 in the Land of Israel and 36 outside of Israel. The entire world stands in their merit, since without them, the world could not exist. The Zohar mentions other examples, such as a category of 10,000 tzaddikim, who are on a lower level. Nonetheless, the world requires all of these tzaddikim to exist. 

We also need to place ourselves in some sort of category of tzaddikim.  You may ask youself ''Why do I need to call myself a tzaddik?''  Don't forget that we were born to carry out a specific mission, so it is not a matter of what we want or not. It is not merely a one-time task like when someone says to you ''Go bring this envelope to someone" - rather it is a mission involving your entire being and everything connected to you.  Your entire life is no more than a simple shlichut - mission.  For example, someone says to you ''Get on a plane, travel to a certain place and do this particular thing.''  You will be well aware of why you are in that particular place, since it is part of your mission.  You'll also take care not to damage anything in the process of carrying it out. Nonetheless, at the same time, you still feel ''something'' from yourself since, despite being on a mission, you still need to eat, sleep, travel, accomplish etc.

In other words, whatever you do in the world, whether sleep, eat, make money, pray, put on tefillin, or any of the other mitzvot, it is all one big mission.  This is the most truthful way to think about ourselves since we have no other function in the world besides our Divinely-given mission.

You may ask ''What is my mission?''  The answer lies in knowing that everything is connected to the kavod of Hashem, since He created the world to reveal His glory.  Before the world came into being, there was no-one to reveal  His kavod.  After creation, it is our mission to reveal it.

When you feel some deficiency, it is a signal that there is some sort of ''shortcoming'' in the revelation of G-d's kavod.  The more we reveal His kavod, the less lack we will feel.  Hashem created us with all of our materiality to serve as a foundation in this world for Him, and to elevate our Divine awareness until we clearly realize that we have no other function than to see the Divine in every detail of life.  Everything should bring us closer to the knowledge that there is a Creator of the World Who desires something from us.  If it is against the Torah, it is not the desire of Hashem.  Every step we take in life should bring us closer to a mindset that nothing exists beyond our appointed function in the world.  Bringing children into the world, working in whatever area Hashem has brought us, or any other life situation, is all part of our mission to reveal what Hashem desires.

Delving deeper, we will sense how limited our understanding is. This is when to pour out our hearts: ''Ribbono shel Olam! Heal us so we can reveal Your kavod. Give us livelihood so we can magnify Your kavod in the world. Redeem us from the oppression of outside influences, so we can carry out our mission.'' The emphasis should be in this direction, rather than driven by the desire to shed the discomfort of exile.  Thinking this way makes us more complete and less demanding of space and self-importance. When we achieve such a level, Rebbe Nachman promises that we will experience no lack.  Obviously this is a process, but we must begin.

This is all connected to Rebbe Nachman's concept of a self-generated shadow that blocks our own shefa.  Every day, the ability to prevent its creation can be drawn from the power of Moses and his humility, since he is the primary soul in which we are all rooted.  Rebbe Nachman describes how the influence of Moses is found within every limb of our body, reminding us to perform the mitzvah associated with that particular limb.  His point of humility is also there, waiting to be developed.  It is this point that will help us better understand how to remove our sense of ''somethingness'' and feel much more authentic.  Most think that kavod and happiness are found by taking up more space in the world, as if this is the purpose of life.  However, this point of humility will save us from being distracted or thrown off by the attractions of the world.

May Hashem help us be encompassed in the humility of Moses, so we will be able to receive an abundant influx of everything good in this world, as well as all the other worlds we will witness in the future.  This blessing very much depends upon us. When we repair ourselves, we repair the entire universe. By drawing Divine awareness into the world so everyone will know there is only Hashem, we will experience the good of the World to Come in this world as well.

Translated and adapted from a lesson based on Likutey Moharan 172.

[1] Likutey Moharan 172.
[2] King Solomon wrote ''Elokim made Man straight, but they pursued many intrigues.'' [Ecclesiastes 7:29]
[3] ''For My glory I created...'' [Isaiah 43:7];  ''The earth is filled with His glory'' [Isaiah 6:3]

The Obstructing Shadow: Get out of the way of your own Blessing

by Rav Ephraim Kenig shlita [Reprinted with permission from Tzaddik Magazine]

''Every lack a person experiences, whether children, livelihood, or health, comes from oneself.'' [1]  [Rebbe Nachman of Breslov] 

There is an old saying: "The One Who gives life will also provide for it." In other words, since G-d created the world, He most certainly provides whatever we need to exist, whether livelihood, children, health, etc. As discussed in the writings of the Arizal and many other holy books, He created the universe to bestow good on it, not so it should be lacking.

If this is true, when why do we need to exert ourselves so much in order to subsist?  An animal usually has everything it needs in its local environment. Why would it be different for a human being, who is considered the choice of creation?

This is Rebbe Nachman's point. The lack is not inherent in creation - it comes from oneself. The human being was created perfect and complete [2], but something happened that created lack and deficiency.  For example, when a baby is born, the parents hover over the infant to ensure that it is warm, well-fed, and has everything it needs. As the child grows and begins to develop its own ideas and direction in life, the parents still desire to bestow good on the child. Sometimes, the child goes out on their own and acts foolishly without realizing the damage caused to themselves and others. The parents still worry, and do their best to warn the child of the various dangers, even when he or she stubbornly persists in pursuing their own ideas.

Likewise with Hashem. As mature as we consider ourselves, we still possess only a child-like understanding of the greatness of G-d. We don't fully grasp the extent to which He wants to benefit us, and instead, we act like immature children who make trouble.  Divine light, called shefa, constantly flows to us. Descending through all of the upper worlds into this world, it arrives to fill any need we may have.  Shefa is very subtle in the heavens, and once it comes into the world, it manifests as a beneficial influence.  Just as parents desire good for their child, G-d's love likewise directs the appropriate shefa to reach us in a ready-made fashion, like children, money, a home, etc.  The only thing that can stop it is the shadow created by our own actions. The shefa is then experienced as a deficiency.

How do our actions create a shadow?  The first thing to understand is that the nature of a shadow is relative, since a shadow is created from something more physical in relation to something more spiritual.  For example, a tree will create a shadow when put up against the light of the sun or moon.  The earth will also cause a shadow in the form of an eclipse, as will the moon itself.  Even the sun will create a shadow in relation to something  higher than it.  In this case, the sun would be considered physical in relation to what is above it.  Anything more physical obstructs light in relation to something more spiritual. Similarly, a person's  physicality and undesirable deeds form a shadow that obstructs the flow of shefa, since something physical will block something more spiritual.

There is a way, according to Rebbe Nachman, to circumvent this problem. If you nullify yourself by minimizing your connection to the world, no shadow is created and shefa is received unhindered. It is normal to want to fill a place in the world, or to feel you possess something.  You enjoy the respect accorded to you by others, you consume, eat, drink and buy, all of which amounts to experiencing some sort of ''somethingness'' that defines your material existence. The more physical you are, the more it prevents you from receiving the constantly flowing Divine light called shefa.

A basic understanding of human character traits can help a person move towards minimizing their connection to the world.  Let's examine the trait of humility. Everyone is born with a specific predisposition and nature, with varying levels of coarseness or arrogance at one end of the spectrum, and qualities such as humility at the other end.  Each quality, though, needs to be expressed in the proper way and proportion.  For example, it is a natural and positive reaction to feel a sense of nullification or insignificance next to a greater person, not the opposite.

Likewise, we should feel our smallness in relation to Heaven. Our only desire should be to fulfill whatever role G-d gave us with self-nullification, which will naturally bring a tiny perception of G-d's greatness.  Even if we are not currently on this level, it is something that needs to be deeply contemplated, since it is the true reality.

As creations of G-d, we belong to Him.  To the extent we comprehend this message and internalize it, our entire existence and relationship to the world will change.  As we go about our daily business, we will begin to understand that we are nothing more than messengers on a mission given to us by Hashem.  We will also be much less exacting of our own honor and care less about what others say or think about us. These concerns are exactly what make us more material.  Freed of these concerns, we are less physical. More shefa reaches us and we experience less deficiency and lack.

The world was created with such compassion, in a way that is truly good for us in this world and the next. Consider the generation of Noah and the Flood. How did this generation come to such depravity that it had to be completely wiped out?  The Midrash explains that this was actually caused by the abundant and awesome shefa they enjoyed on a constant basis.  They had everything they wanted, immediately, with incredible opulence, which is what brought them to such coarseness and vulgarity.  They believed the shefa came from their efforts and the strength of their own hands. They knew very well G-d was sending this goodness, but they didn't believe He was the ultimate power behind sending it, or had the ability to halt it.  When Noah repeatedly warned them about the impending flood, they taunted ''Where will the flood come from, Heaven?'' since they felt they could stop the Heavenly wellsprings themselves.  Although the good was indeed meant for them to enjoy, their way of thinking was a serious error because it overturned everything to the opposite.

Where are you holding?
You can actually sense where you stand before Hashem through evaluating your current situation, whatever it may be.  The very deficiency you experience is a gauge to how physical you are, since the perceived lack is a result of Divine light that has been blocked.  It is now expressed as a specific shortcoming, which indicates a lesser level of self-nullification to what Hashem desires.

How do we know what Hashem wants from us?  According to Rebbe Nachman, it is all related to kavod - glory and honor.  He writes: '''The essence of the light of Hashem is kavod, since whatever Hashem created, He created only for the sake of His glory.''  The entire world was created only to reveal His kavod, as written throughout the holy writings. [3]  Since Hashem's glory fills the world, when you don't take up space in the world, you receive the light of Hashem unhindered.

Self-Nullification and Humility
The Jewish people have an inherent power of self-nullification, which is epitomized by Moses.  He brought us the Torah in such a way to show anyone, in any situation, that they are connected to the Torah and mitzvot, and what they need to uphold.  Moses was considered to be the most humble human being. Although our own perception of humility is very far from its true nature, we still have some conception of it, since Jews possess a natural point of humility, which is developed when contemplating the greatness of Hashem.

Whatever we have or not, comes from Hashem because of His compassion.  Internalizing this message more and more will generate full Divine consciousness, which is the purpose of our existence.  Our entire life experience is meant to bring us to an awareness of the One Who brought the world into existence. When this is deeply integrated into our daily outlook, we will feel no lack whatsoever in life.

This will be the experience many years after Mashiach will have already arrived, as well as in the Next World, when we will see the world in its perfection. There will be no ''somethingness'' that demands honor and recognition. It will be clear that you are alive only because G-d wants you to fulfill your function in the world, so you will lack nothing required to fulfill your mission.  If you need money,  He will give it to you.  If you need health or anything else, you will receive it.

This is actually the level of the tzaddikim. They already achieved their tikkun, and see the perfection in this world now. Their pain comes only from looking at the Jewish people and seeing how far they are from their true life's purpose.  They are completely given over to bringing each Jew closer to G-d, one after another, by revealing another point of awareness in what it means to serve Hashem.  These tzaddikim, with all of their perfection, are already experiencing the World to Come in this world.  Rebbe Nachman insists this is not only something for spiritual giants, but for us as well.  When we pray for Mashiach and the Temple,we are asking for this level - it is something we must all attain, since it is our purpose.

...to be continued

click here for Part Two

The Final Tikkun

Written by R. Yaakov Nathan

The generation of the desert, the Dor Hamidbar, was on a very high level. They were a "dor de'ah", a generation of knowledge, on the level of Bina. Yet they committed the sin of the Golden Calf [parshas Ki Tisa]. This sin was a direct result of their own intellectualization, their miscalculation of when Moshe should have come back from his spiritual elevation on Mount Sinai. [The verse says "boshesh Moshe" and Rashi from the Gemara explains that it means "ba shesh" - that they calculated that Moshe should have been back by the 6th hour of the day.]  It was their own intellect which brought them into trouble--they wavered in their trust of Moshe and over-intellectualized the situation.

The midrash states that the Soton showed them Moshe lying on his deathbed, which opened them up to consider the reasoning that Moshe should have already come down. The Ohr Hachayim explains that what they saw was "with the eye of the intellect"--they didn't hallucinate, but rather they misinterpreted the reality.

Amidst this confusion comes the Erev Rav, the Egyptian magicians who left Egypt with the children of Israel, demanding a new leader to replace Moshe -- since they saw that the Jews were wavering, open to the suggestion that Moshe was delayed and could not descend from the spiritual heights he had ascended to. This is the cause of the Golden Calf [see the Ramban--it was a replacement for Moshe, not Hashem].

When Moshe ascended the mountain, the Arizal states that he received 1,000 lights. This is the level of Moshiach. Moshe had been elevated to Moshiach on the mountain, but the people did not withstand the test; their faith in Moshe wavered, allowing the Erev Rav to bring about the sin of the Golden Calf. This caused Hashem to say to Moshe "Go, descend" [32:7], says Rashi: "Descend from your greatness", descend from the level of Moshiach.

The Arizal writes that the final generation is a reincarnation of the Dor Hamidbar. The Lubavitcher Rebbe said explicitly that this applies to us - we are literally the souls of the generation of the desert. In Rambam's "13 Ikkarim" he writes that we believe in the coming of Moshiach "even if he delays".

Why does the Rambam feel the need to mention a delay here? What's the connection between Moshiach and a delay? The first redeemer [Moshe] is the last redeemer [Moshiach] and perhaps our situation now - waiting in the confusion - is the tikkun for the situation the first time around?

The Rambam explains in Hilchos Tshuva that "Tshuva is completed when an opportunity to commit one's original transgression again arises but one doesn't and repents instead." We are the generation of the midbar--we are rectifying our sin by waiting for Moshiach. Despite what the eye of the intellect might think, our obligation is to trust in Moshe Rabbeinu, not to seek a replacement leader. Not to let the Erev Rav within us entice us to find a "new leader" of the Jewish nation, to make a new Golden Calf [G-d forbid].

Moshe Rabbeinu doesn't need to be replaced, and we are playing our role in the final tikkun. Hold on strong with emunah that goes beyond the intellect and "even though he delays, we wait for him every day".

Unfinished Business

Week's Energy for Parshas Mishpatim

Resetting our Moral Compass

by Rav DovBer Pinson

The Torah reading this week opens with the words; “And these are the Mishpatim /ordinances that you shall set before them.” [21:1]

'Mishpatim' are the ethical and civil laws that govern our behavior towards our fellow human beings, a social contract, as it were.

The Zohar chooses this portion, from amongst all the other Torah readings, to explore the mystery of Reincarnation.

As a rule, our souls incarnate to reach our own actualization and individuation. Each subsequent reincarnation articulates another element of our soul. Each incarnation is a completely different person with a different tikkun [correction], meant to articulate a particular element of soul that has not yet been expressed.

There is one form of reincarnation however, where the totality of who you are and were in the past will reincarnate to create a Tikkun, a rectification for a past life. It is particularly the unfinished monetary issues and unethical dealings between people that require the totality of self to return and hopefully create repair.

Our goal is to fully articulate our particular aspect of soul within our lifetime, and not require a reincarnation of our unique self.

To this end, it is of utmost importance to rectify all negative patterns of unethical behavior that we might express in our lives. In our business dealings, and all other relationships, we must be extra cautious to be moral and honest and repair any unscrupulous behaviors.

This week’s Torah reading imbues us with the energy to effect repair, or Tikkun, for interpersonal issues, particularly in regard to monetary dealings and any dishonorable financial behaviors.

Throughout the week it is important to be extra mindful when it comes to ethical dealings with others.

Try to recognize your negative patterns in regards to business/financial dealings and receive the energy of Mishpatim as an impetus to break out of these behaviors.

Rectifying these negative unethical patterns will ensure a complete tikkun in our lifetime and the ability for our soul to move forward in this life and the next without the need to ‘come back’ and try again.

Please consider sponsoring an 'Energy of the Week' teaching that reaches and inspires an audience of many thousands worldwide This is a beautiful way to honor a loved one. Contact Iyyun today for more details: contact@iyyun.com

Solutions While You Sleep

I had a personal salvation this week, after several months of wondering why I was going through so much suffering - which was actually worse than anything I'd ever experienced before - and on Rosh Chodesh Tamuz I was given the answer via a dream - even though I didn't remember the dream, I woke up with the answer, just as I had prayed for it before I went to sleep.  Once I'd acknowledged it and dealt with it, the judgment on me seemed to disappear, and I felt so much better.

If something of great importance is transmitted to you while you sleep, you will wake up with it on your mind, and it is vital that you realize it for what it is, and act on it.  The part of our soul that ascends while we sleep can answer our deepest questions, so pray hard before you sleep for the answer, and if the time is right, you will receive it.

We have been taught that all suffering has a time limit, and if you are someone who is suffering through some kind of agonizing problem, know that it will end, and you will be given the solution to it eventually - the remedy is in your own hands, and Hashem will supply you with the answer if you genuinely want to rectify it.

This is known as a tikkun - a rectification - and the bigger the problem, the more likely it is that it is part of your life's mission to get through it and come out the other end, a better and stronger person.

Often the people we are drawn to are the ones who can help us fix ourselves, and sometimes we can also be the ones to fix them as well.  That is how tikkunim are achieved - some people have to meet simply for that reason, and therefore they are drawn to each other on some level, as their soul knows they have to work something out.  Soul attractions are real, not accidental.  We are magnetically drawn to those people who can help us find our way.  

This following piece of advice is from Shlomo's blog - A Perfect World Now

As the Vilna Gaon writes [Commentary on Jonah]:

“The main thing [to keep in mind, is that the purpose of reincarnation], is to affect the repair of a [negative] influence, originating in a previous lifetime...

[One way] to discern exactly what that negative influence is, is to reflect upon the type of wrong your soul yearns after the most, in this lifetime. That which you yearn after most, is likely something you became habituated to in a previous life.

And therefore pay attention to your vices. [They tell you exactly what you have to work on in this lifetime.] ...The main thing is, to repair that which one stumbled in in a previous [life] ...

That’s why some people are drawn after one type of sin, more than another. And that’s also why our Sages say, that one must continually judge himself, and weigh his actions..."

Shavuos: Torah, Tikkun, Segulas and More

Reb Boruch of Mezibuzh says that on Rosh Hashana we are judged on material matters, but on Shavuos we are judged on spiritual matters. [Botzina Dinehora] 

It says “ad mochoras haShabbos”, meaning that we have the whole sefira including the 50th day to teshuva and purify ourselves (the word “sapir” can mean purify). And if one can’t purify himself, even on the last day, then he has no choice but to attach himself to the Tzadik Emes, and he will lift him up and purify him. Through his attachment to the Tzadik Emes, he will be able to do teshuva. [Divrei Dovid] 

Read the post at: Shavuos - Torah, Tikun, Segulas and more