The Mainstay of the Home

Art: Catherine Nolan

There is a special mission given to Jewish women, each of whom is called the ''mainstay of the home'' for the conduct of the entire home depends on her.

Every Jewish home must be similar to the Sanctuary and Holy Temple in which G-d's presence resided. It must be pure and holy, so that G-d can say ''I can dwell within them''.

Since the woman is the ''mainstay of the home'', it is she who makes the home a sanctuary, similar to the Holy Temple of which G-d says ''I will dwell within them''.

Based on Sicha of the Lubavitcher Rebbe

The Plan

This week's Parsha, Terumah, means ''contribution'', since the Tabernacle [mishkan] was constructed from contributions made by the Jewish people.

But why is the Parsha about G-d's house named after man's contribution?

Chassidic thought teaches that G-d created the world because He had a Plan, but the Plan contains a clause: The Plan is that G-d's presence should be revealed in the world.

The clause is that this should occur by the efforts of man.

At the giving of the Torah, G-d stated His Plan.  He taught us that we can reveal His presence in the world by performing the mitzvot.

But, at that moment, everything had come from G-d.

With the construction of the Tabernacle, G-d's clause began to be implemented.  Now man had made an effort to help G-d's Plan reach fruition.

It is for this reason that our Parsha, which speaks of G-d's house, is named after man's contribution.  For G-d's house could only be complete when His clause for human involvement was adhered to.

Source: Likutei Sichos Lubavitcher Rebbe

All of us are part of The Plan.  We were chosen to be here to witness the Final Redemption, may it come speedily in our days.   We are gilgulim [reincarnations] of the D'or HaMidbar - the generation who wandered through the desert.  We complained a lot, both then and now.  But everything we are doing, and everything that is happening to us, is a tikkun [rectification].  


When the Lubavitcher Rebbe established the womens' group N'Shei Ubnos Chabad [Women and Daughters of Chabad], the Rebbe called in Rabbi Yosef Wineberg shlita who was at that time a young man and told him the following:

“It says in Kisvei Arizal [the writings of the Arizal] that the generation before Moshiach is the same generation as the Dor HaMidbar. At that time the women were exceptional in a number of areas:

• They did not participate in the Chait HaEigel [the golden calf]
• They gave their jewelry for the Mishkan.
• They showed great love for the land of Israel.

The reward for this will be that in the generation before Moshiach the Talmidei Chachamim will follow the directions of their wives.

If we want to accomplish with the men we first must accomplish with the women.”

Teaching Rabbis about Abuse

If you're an orthodox woman who is a victim of domestic violence, your biggest nightmare could just end up being the rabbi you turn to for help. Unfortunately there is a tendency amongst some rabbis to defend the abusive man, and blame the woman for not being able to hold the marriage together.

This is a very real problem all over the world: many victims of domestic violence are already ashamed of their situation, they don't need to be condemned by anyone, never mind their spiritual leader. Thankfully, things are changing now, although there is still a long way to go.

12 June 1994 [also known as Gimel Tamuz] - the day of the passing of the Lubavitcher Rebbe zt'l from this world - was the same day that the notorious OJ Simpson murdered his wife and her friend - and as nothing in this world happens randomly, there is a message there for all orthodox Jews....if they care to notice.

There is an excellent article at Ynet: A Room of Their Own  about a Shelter for abused religious women which offers help in a community that views leaving home as betrayal.

One of the main issues that the organization deals with is teaching and guiding rabbis on this issue. "It's important to give the rabbis the tools. Many times an abused woman will go to a rabbi, and it is important to let the rabbis know what the options are and give them the tools to support these women," Korma says.

In order to approach rabbis in the ultra-Orthodox communities, the organization produced a movie and special pamphlet, wherein it gathered all the Halachic (religious law) sources forbidding violence against women. In N.'s case, the rabbi she went to tried to convince her she was imagining things. "Sometimes I almost believed him, maybe I'm not ok, maybe I'm wrong, and maybe my 'tzadik' husband doesn't treat me that way..." she says.

N. has some advice to women in her situation. "Don't be silent; don't turn a blind eye. During the engagement period, if there is something wrong, speak up. After marriage don't let the snowball effect of violence grow bigger. Turn to the right people or it will just get worse. The damage to the children, living under terrorist rule, is tremendous'' she says.

To read the article click here 

Miriam's Tambourine

"Miriam's Tambourine" - Michoel Muchnik

Miriam, the prophetess, Aaron's sister, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women came out after her with tambourines and with dances [Beshalach 15:20]

The righteous women did not delegate their responsibilities to their leader, Miriam the prophetess. Rather, each and every woman made for herself a tambourine, in a personal effort to trust in G-d's redemption and rejoice in it when it comes.

There is always a temptation to leave the responsibility of inspiring the people to Jewish leaders. However, we can learn from the righteous women in Egypt that it is every single person's obligation to inspire his or herself and all of the people that he or she comes into contact with.

Source: Sichas Shabbos Parshas Beshalach 5752, Lubavitcher Rebbe

''Chareidi Extremists are Animals''

Jerusalem - A well known Rosh Yeshiva who is also a popular figure in the Sephardi kiruv world had nothing but contempt and scorn for Charedi Israeli extremists.

Rabbi Rafael Zar, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Ohr Dor – Ohr Yehuda, a noted baal mussar and considered by some as a spiritual leader, had strong words for those who resort to extreme measures, in the name of tznius.

“They are the worst kind of evildoers, far worse than the most secular individual,” said Rabbi Zar. “If I could I would break their arms and legs. This is not just my opinion, it is the opinion of Chazal. They would catch them, give them lashes and break their bones for their appalling behavior.

Spitting on women? I am appalled by this and any true Ben Torah feels the same way about this garbage. The people who do this are nothing more than garbage and they bring a foul stench to the scent of Torah in this world. It is repulsive. To spit on a Jewish Girl? Who do you think you are?

Anyone whose middos are so corrupt, is not a Jew in my eyes. He is an animal.”

“Someone who commits a Chilul Hashem like this does not deserve to have a beard. It is an embarrassment. According to the Holy Tazdik Baba Sali Zt’l there are Jews that when they will go to gehenim, the fire will start from their beard, because they don’t deserve to have a beard.”

Source, video and full article at: VIN News

Rabbi Lau: Shouts of 'Nazi!' Cause Me Nightmares

Jerusalem - Tel Aviv-Yafo [Jaffa]‘s Chief Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau says he was shocked to see a photograph of a Jewish boy wearing a yellow star in last week’s hareidi religious demonstration in the Jerusalem neighborhood of Mea Shearim.

Rabbi Lau told the Hebrew-language newspaper Ma’ariv in an interview that the hareidi public feels “persecuted,” but that this feeling “in my opinion leads it to express itself in a way that borders on blasphemy. If you explain to secular Jews observance of the Sabbath through hurling rocks and shouts of “Nazi!” then first of all, they [themselves] are sinning by touching the rock—which itself is forbidden on the Sabbath—and you also destroy the tiniest chance that those who do not observe the Sabbath might begin to do so.

“The picture of the beautiful and innocent Orthodox child at a demonstration, raising his hands in surrender, wearing on his garment a yellow star, chased the sleep from my eyes that night,” Rabbi Lau continued. “I am afraid for him, even for his faith. When this child will grow up and will realize what they did to him in his community, how they exploited his innocence, how they used him, he is likely to kick away the traditions of his father’s house.

“For me, to stand a child up with his hands raised in surrender in imitation of that famous photograph from the Warsaw Ghetto distorts history and shows incomparable ingratitude to the Master of the Universe, who gave us the Jewish State that did not exist when that original photo was taken,” he added. “The significance of the act is simply to ignore the kindness of the Creator Who tells you, you aren’t standing today before Nazis who are coming to destroy you. Today you have a country, you have a home, and the police are coming to defend every Jew, even if he demonstrates in the streets of Jerusalem.

“How can you compare Jews to a Nazi who was able to throw a baby into a frying pan on a burning Primus stove?” Rabbi Lau demanded. “And I am talking about things I saw with my own eyes. Or a Nazi who could take a child similar to the one who participated in that demonstration and tear him apart? Those who demonstrated “Nazis! Nazis!”—including the “price tag” demonstrators who attacked the IDF officers—don’t know what a Nazi monster is and to what depths he can reach.”

Rabbi Lau said he believes there should be deterrents and enforcement of the law when anyone uses symbols of the Holocaust. “Shouts of ‘Nazi’ at Jews—not to mention photos of things like that child—cause us, the survivors, insomnia and nightmares,” he said.

Source: Israel National News

Challah: A Recipe for Success

L'ilui neshamot Zev Yosef ben Sholom z"l and Rachel bas Mordechai z"l

Today [11 Teves] is the fourth yarzheit of my sister Rachel a"h and her husband Zev a"h who were both killed instantly in a freak accident just outside of Melbourne in 2007.

In memory of Rachel, some women organized a special challah baking this morning, as this was one of the things she always did, no matter what else was going on she found time for the challah.

Below is her special challah recipe and other vital information on how to separate the dough, and the relevant blessing to be said.

For more insights into challah see: The Divine Dough

The Quintessential Quality of the Jewish Mother

Art: Sharon Tomlinson

Rachel lost her own spiritual luxury - the privilege of being buried in the Cave of Machpeilah - in order to help her children. This represents the unparalleled quality of the ''Jewish mother'' who is always willing to sacrifice her own needs, spiritual or physical, for the sake of helping her children.

And this is the inner reason why Jewish identity follows the maternal and not the paternal route. For even though the father possesses a greater degree of spirituality - since he has the privilege of observing more mitzvos than a woman - the quality of a Jewish mother is nevertheless greater, that she is willing to forego much of that spirituality in order to enable her to raise a family with tender loving care. And since this quality is even more quintessentially Jewish than the spirituality of the man, it is the mother than actually makes her children Jewish.

Source: Likutei Sichos Lubavitcher Rebbe [vol 30 pp 239-240]

Israel Needs a Reality Check

Violent clashes between Israel Police forces and ultra-Orthodox activists amid a public outcry over the exclusion of women from the public sphere is damaging the image of the Haredi community in the United States, Brooklyn community leaders told Haaretz on Tuesday.

New York Democratic New York State Assemblyman Dov Hikind added that "if a young Hasidic man would have spat on or hurt a girl in Borough Park he would have been immediately arrested and handled in the most stern of way."   [Source: Haredi violence is damaging Israel's image, U.S. rabbis say]

Exactly !

And in Australia..... they'd be arrested and charged with assault.....

So my question is:  Israel.... why are these men allowed to get away with abusing women and young girls?  What a chillul Hashem and total embarrassment for all of us.

Jewish Extremism : Out of Control

BEIT SHEMESH, Israel (AP) – A shy 8-year-old schoolgirl has unwittingly found herself on the front line of Israel's latest religious war.

Naama Margolese is a ponytailed, bespectacled second-grader who is afraid of walking to her religious Jewish girls school for fear of ultra-Orthodox extremists who have spat on her and called her a whore for dressing "immodestly."

Her plight has drawn new attention to the simmering issue of religious coercion in Israel, and the increasing brazenness of extremists in the insular ultra-Orthodox Jewish community

Source: Israeli Girl's Plight Highlights Jewish Extremism
More at : Beit Shemesh Gone Wild

Chaya Mushka

Mookie Cohen, who works in a Crown Heights flower shop, is one of thousands of women named after Chaya Mushka Schneerson, the late wife of the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

by Paul Berger, Forward

If in the coming weeks you happen to meet a young woman called Mushkie, here are a few things you should know:

Mushkie is probably younger than 24. She is most likely consumed with her upcoming wedding or her young children.

One more thing: “You have to say the last name when you are talking about Mushkie,” said Mushkie Bronstein, 20, “because everyone’s called Mushkie.”

Mushkie — or to give her full name, Chaya Mushka — is one of thousands of girls in the worldwide Lubavitch Hasidic community named after Chaya Mushka Schneersohn, the wife of the Lubavitcher rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson. Born Chaya Moussia [“Mushka” is the diminutive], Schneerson died, childless, 23 years ago, on February 10, 1988 -  [22 Shvat]

In the months that followed, hundreds of Lubavitch parents named their daughters Chaya Mushka. On the first anniversary of Rebbetzin Schneerson’s death, the rebbe was presented with an album of namesakes born during the previous year — 324 Chaya Mushkas from across the world.

Mushky Duchman, born in August, 1988, in Brooklyn was among them. “The rebbe was our leader and when the rebbetzin passed away, it was the greatest thing to give back to the rebbe,” Duchman told the Forward.

During the 1990s in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, where the Lubavitch movement has its world headquarters, schools were flooded with Chaya Mushkas. Duchman said that at her Beth Rivkah school in Brooklyn, about 75 of the 120 girls in her grade were called Chaya Mushka.

To differentiate themselves, these Chaya Mushkas adopted various nicknames and alternative spellings: Chaya, Chayale, Moussia, Mushkee, Mushkie, Mushky or Mookie.

Rishe Deitsch, senior editor of a Chabad women’s newsletter, said distinguishing between Chaya Mushkas at school only became a problem when cousins shared the same surname. “Then you start going by the street [they live on],” Deitsch said, “like Chaya Mushka Crown or Chaya Mushka President.”

That was no solution for teachers and classmates of Chaya Mushka Avtzon and Chaya Mushka Avtzon, first cousins who lived three doors away from each other on Crown Street, in Brooklyn.

“We always requested to be in the same class and everyone got us mixed up,” said one of the 22-year-old Avtzons who recently married and officially became Mushky Edelman.

Even today, now that one of the Avtzons has given up her maiden name, the two women still receive each other’s phone calls and text messages, or those meant for their 21-year-old cousin, Chaya Mushka Avtzon, who also lives in Crown Heights.

Mushka Katzman, 21, a classmate of the two Avtzon cousins, recalled how a teacher at the Lubavitch high school they attended avoided confusion by asking both girls to choose their favorite shape. Then each could sign off on her test paper in a different way, one with a star and one with a heart.

Every Mushkie has a story about her name being called out and a group of Mushkies turning around. Mushkee Efune said that when she was at Beth Rivkah school, in Brooklyn, older girls would call down “Mushkie” from the school’s fourth-floor windows and watch as scores of little faces in the playground turned upward.

“The older I got, the less I turned around,” said Efune, 22. “I ignored every ‘Mushkee!’ unless it was specifically for me.”

Today, like Efune, many of those little girls are starting families of their own.

Leah Gansberg, a Crown Heights matchmaker, said almost one-third of the 200 women on her list of eligible brides are Chaya Mushkas.

“The joke is, if I don’t remember the name I say, ‘Oh, it’s probably Chaya Mushka’ — and I am usually right,” said Gansberg, who has an 18-year-old daughter and three nieces called Chaya Mushka.

Even so, Gansberg added, Chaya Mushka is not as popular for girls as the name Menachem Mendel is for boys. That name became increasingly popular after the rebbe died in 1994. “In my son’s class, I would say about 90% [of the boys] are called Mendy,” Gansberg said.

There are no figures for the number of Chaya Mushkas worldwide. But the name appears to have been similarly popular overseas, at least according to Mushka Afrah, from Milan, Italy, and Mookie Cohen, of Sydney, Australia, both of whom now live in Crown Heights.

Statistics from New York State’s Department of Health, which does not record middle names, show that the popularity of the name “Chaya” surged shortly after the rebbetzin died, from about 100 girls annually during the mid-1980s to 150 girls annually during the early 1990s. It peaked in 2005 and 2006, with almost 200 girls named “Chaya” in each year.

According to Jewish tradition, two girls in the same immediate family cannot share the same name. And Crown Heights residents say neighborhood schools have only a fraction of the Chaya Mushkas today that they experienced during the 1990s. So it’s possible many of the Chayas listed on the health department’s statistics have different names, such as Chaya Rivka or Chaya Sara.

Sheina Margolis, a preschool teacher at Beth Rivkah, said of the 15 girls in her class, only two are called Chaya Mushka. But the name is the most popular among the school’s 20 or so teaching and administrative staff, almost half of whom are named Chaya Mushka.

“My daughter’s teacher is Mushkie,” Margolis said. “Next door to her is a Chayale and a Mushkie. The secretary in the office is Chaya Mushka.”

Even the school building has links to Rebbetzin Schneerson.

One month after she died, Beth Rivkah broke ground on a new 125,000-square-foot campus at 470 Lefferts Avenue, in Brooklyn. According to the school’s website, 470 is the numeric equivalent of the rebbetzin’s name. The facility is called Campus Chomesh, an acronym of the Hebrew initials Chaya Mushka Schneerson.

For most Lubavitch girls, Rebbetzin Schneerson epitomized the perfect wife: quiet, kind, selfless, modest, humble, generous, private. So private in fact that, as any Mushkie will tell you, there are very few photographs of her — a startling fact given the mountain of photos and videos of her husband.

Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka

The most ubiquitous photograph is a black-and-white image taken at a wedding in New York, in 1949. Mrs. Schneerson, wearing a floral hat perched atop a pretty face, is captured looking across a table. She has an aquiline nose, a thin upper lip and an elegantly curved jawline. Her expression is serious, as though she is listening attentively.

Every Lubavitch girl has a story about “the rebbetzin.”

There was the time a guest at the Schneerson home knocked over a drink, and to avoid embarrassing her, she knocked over her own drink, too. Or the time her driver passed a family being evicted, so Schneerson asked him to pull over. She immediately wrote a check for the rent they owed. Then there was the time she was asked by a child where her own children were, and she replied: “The Hasidim are my children.”

Perhaps her greatest act, in many young women’s eyes, was marrying Menachem Mendel Schneerson, who went on to become the seventh and last Lubavitcher rebbe.

Chaya Mushka was the daughter of the sixth Lubavitcher rebbe. If not for her marriage to Menachem Mendel Schneerson, he may never have become the rebbe. And if Chaya Mushka had not allowed him to devote almost all of his time to the Lubavitch movement, he may not have been able to create one of the fastest-growing movements in Judaism today.

“She was someone so special and she gave us the rebbe, who was the greatest leader since Moshe Rabbeinu [Moses],” Duchman said.

“It’s very special to me and to everyone who’s part of Chabad.”

Following Dinah's Example

''Dinah - Leah's daughter, whom she had borne to Yaakov''  [Vayishlach 34:1]

From Dinah's conduct we can learn that those Jewish women who are blessed with a God-given ability to influence others positively, should make sure to use their talents productively outside the home as well.  Of course, a Jewish woman must always maintain an air of modesty, and even when she is outside the home it should be recognizable in her actions that ''the entire glory of the King's daughter is within'' [Psalms 45:14].

Nevertheless, while retaining the utmost guard in all matters of modesty, it is crucial that Jewish women who are capable of bringing others closer to Judaism, spend time outside the home, utilizing their God-given talents for the sake of Heaven.

Based on Likutei Sichos Lubavitcher Rebbe vol 35

'Clinton unfamiliar with Jewish modesty'

Israel's Chief Sephardic Rabbi Shlomo Amar responded Monday to US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's harsh criticism against the exclusion of women in Israel. [See American foot in mouth]

"She has no real knowledge of a Jewish woman's modesty," he said. "The Jewish people respect women and treat them like queens and princesses."

According to the rabbi, had Clinton learned from "the right people, scholars, she would see that the Jewish people respect their women."

Speaking in an interview to Kol Barama Radio, the rabbi added that the respect is demonstrated in modest clothes and a head cover for married women.

Rabbi Amar did criticize the clothing of the "Taliban women" and their claim that Jewish women used to wear cloaks in the past.

"I still belong to the generation which we saw our mothers and grandmothers, so they cannot tell us how they dressed. We know exactly what they wore – they covered their hair with a silk cloth and the clothes went beyond their elbows and knees… They never heard of such a thing. There are clear rules."

As for "kosher" buses, separating between men and women, the rabbi explained that some people choose to be stricter but that this is not part of Jewish religious laws. He mentioned Rabbi Moshe Feinstein's ruling that there is no problem for men and women to use public transportation together.

Source: Ynet

Provocation

In the year King Moshiach is revealed, nations will be provoking one another...... [Yalkut Shimoni]

Chief Rabbi Metzger ‘sees the light’ after visiting shelter

by Sharon Shenhav - JPost

Rabbi Yona Metzger

It’s good that Rabbi Metzger is sympathetic to the plight of battered women. But where has he been for 40 years?

On October 31, Chief Ashkenazi Rabbi Yonah Metzger informed Israel Radio, Reshet Bet, that he had visited a shelter for battered Orthodox women in Beit Shemesh and was horrified to hear of their suffering.

Apparently the chief rabbi had not been aware that Orthodox women were victims of domestic violence and expressed sincere compassion for their plight.

He described how he spoke with the women and listened to their stories. This eloquent spiritual leader pointed out that Jewish law (Halacha) does not condone violence in the home and that good Jewish husbands honor their wives and treat them with dignity and respect. He was so impressed by the experience that he is now going to recommend that all dayanim (religious judges) visit this shelter.

Rabbi Metzger’s concern and compassion is well deserved and to be commended. However, it comes a little late. Where has he been for the past 40 years? Has he been so out of touch that he doesn’t read newspapers or listen to radio or television? He served as chief rabbi of north Tel Aviv and has been the chief rabbi of Israel since 2003. In that position, he serves as a judge on the Bet Din Hagadol (the Great Court). Has he never heard of women seeking divorce from abusive husbands? The first shelter for battered women was opened in Herzliya in the 1970s. Why did it take him so long to visit one? What does his lack of knowledge say about him personally, or about the Chief Rabbinate and the rabbinical courts in Israel? FROM 2003 to 2009 I served as the only woman on the Commission to Appoint Dayanim. During that period I interviewed over 350 candidates who sought appointment.

My colleagues on the Commission who participated in these interviews, including a dayan from the Bet Din Hagadol and an Knesset member, would discuss the candidate’s yeshiva education and the rabbis who had been his teachers.

I would ask the candidates how they would handle cases where abusive husbands refused to give their wives a get (a divorce). Apparently these questions had not been asked of potential dayanim prior to my participation in the interviews.

The candidates seemed surprised by my questions and a leading rabbi told me that everyone was talking about the questions I asked during the interviews.

Like Rabbi Metzger, these candidates were well versed in Halacha, but seemed to know nothing about the problem of domestic violence in the Jewish community. When asked how they would handle such a case, they stammered and faltered.

Several remarked that abusive behavior doesn’t take place in Orthodox homes! Given this lack of knowledge in the world of rabbis and dayanim, the way abused women are treated in the rabbinical courts when they file for divorce is not surprising.

The rabbis simply don’t believe their testimony.

Even in cases where women have required medical treatment, including the need for hospitalization due to physical abuse by their husbands, too many dayanim seem to find such objective evidence unconvincing. Is it because all of the dayanim are men that they tend to conclude that abusive husbands’ behavior is the result of provocation by their wives? In most cases involving physical abuse, dayanim are reluctant to obligate the abusive husband to give a get. Let’s not even talk about emotional abuse. Most dayanim have never studied psychology, sociology or child development.

They don’t understand the concept of emotional abuse and certainly do not recognize it as grounds for divorce.

NO WONDER that studies of abused Jewish women show that they remain in abusive relationships four times longer than non- Jewish women. When they approach a rabbi for advice on how to deal with an abusive situation, they are often told that shalom bayit (domestic peace) is of the utmost importance. To improve the situation and reduce the abuse, these women are advised to lose weight, wear more attractive clothes, clean the house, keep the children quiet and cook more creative meals.

Now that Rabbi Metzger is aware of the problem, perhaps we can expect some changes. It’s possible that he could do something about raising awareness amongst other Orthodox rabbis and dayanim.

I would suggest that the chief rabbi begin by requiring all Orthodox rabbis to take a course in domestic violence which is prepared and delivered by social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, lawyers and civil court judges.

Hopefully, women who have been victims of abusive marriages could also participate in these courses, giving the rabbis an opportunity to hear the victim’s version of events.

The chief rabbi could organize such courses and require that every sitting dayan as well as all of those who submit their candidacy to be appointed as dayanim take such a course.

Feminist activists have marked November 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women since 1981.

In 1999, the UN General Assembly designated November 25 as International Elimination of Violence against Women Day and encouraged non-governmental organizations worldwide to organize activities designed to raise public awareness of the problem. In Israel, there have been organized marches, demonstrations and conferences to mark the day for over a decade.

Perhaps this year Rabbi Metzger could, at long last, participate in these activities.

Would it be too much to hope that rabbis and dayanim could treat abused women with dignity, compassion and respect? Can we now expect that the dayanim will deal with abusive husbands by requiring them to give a get without requiring their wives to give up financial rights? Jewish women will be waiting to see what kind of action Rabbi Metzger takes, now that he has “seen the light.”

The writer, a Jerusalem-based women’s rights lawyer, is the director of the International Jewish Women’s Rights Project of the International Council of Jewish Women.

Source and talkback: JPost

11 Cheshvan: Yarzheit Rochel Imeinu

Jewish Mother's Day The 11th of Cheshvan  

by Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh

One of the most important days in the month of Cheshvan is the 11th, which commemorates the day of passing of our matriarch Rachel. Rachel was Jacob's most beloved wife and was the principal of his household and thus the principal of the entire house of Israel. From the first day of the year, the 1st day of Tishrei, the 11th day of Cheshvan is the 41st day. 41 is the numerical value of the Hebrew word "eim," which means "mother," thus the 11th of Cheshvan is truly the Jewish Mother's Day.

"Rachel cries for her children, she will not be comforted…"

Rachel constantly mourns over the exile of her children, the Jewish people, and the Almighty comforts her with the words: "Withhold your voice from crying and your eyes from tearing, for there is a reward for your actions… and the children will return to their border." Literally, "return to their border" refers to the return of the Jewish people to the Land of Israel. But, more deeply, it refers to the return of our people to our natural spiritual environs: Judaism and our ancestral Jewish nature. These are the borders that truly circumscribe the uniqueness of our people. Amazingly, numerically, the value of the Hebrew word for "border" (g'vul / גבול) is exactly the same as the value of the word for "mother" (eim / אם); both equal 41.

In Hebrew, Cheshvan is written with the four letters: חשון. The borders (the first and last letters) of Cheshvan are chet - ח and nun - ן, which together spell the word chein - חן, meaning "beauty." The word chein - חן, "beauty" equals 58. The 58th day of the year is the 28th day of Cheshvan.

Rachel is described as the most beautiful woman in the Torah. The numerical value of the two middle letters, shin and vov, שו, is equal to isha -אשה , meaning "woman." Thus, the name of the month itself hints at the special and unique grace endowed to women.

King Solomon says that external beauty by itself is deceitful. If external beauty is all that a woman seeks then the name of the month becomes Marcheshvan, which means Bitter-Cheshvan. It is of such a woman King Solomon says: "And I find the woman to be more bitter than death." But, of true beauty, the beauty of a Jewish woman that emanates from within, he says: "The woman of beauty shall support honor." This true beauty is given to us, the Jewish people, by G‑d through the Torah, for "there is no truth but Torah" and "there is no honor but Torah."

It was Rachel, who was first endowed with this real beauty. Rachel is described as the most beautiful woman in the Torah, "She had a beautiful face and a beautiful figure." Thus, Rachel was the embodiment of the verse: "A woman who fears G‑d, she shall be praised," praised both for her grace and true beauty.

The beauty of the Jewish woman is not just a passive agent of spirituality. The sages teach that the offspring of Esau and his grandson Amalek can be defeated only by the children of Rachel.

Who embodies the spirit of Amalek in our day and age? In Hebrew, the words "Amalek" (עמלק) and "doubt" (safek / ספק) have the same numerical value. Thus, the spirit of Amalek that continues to plague each and every Jew is doubt; doubt in our faith, doubt in our Torah, and doubt in ourselves and the moral justification of our path.

But, sometimes the spirit of Amalek becomes bolder and captures a Jew (whether he be a private individual or a political figure) to the point of driving him or her to unconscious or even conscious self-hatred. This can result in a Jew's cooperation with the enemies of our people.

Finally there are the direct spiritual offspring of Amalek: those enemies who threaten the lives of Jews and our return to the Land of Israel.

The sages say that beauty is a woman's weapon. With everything that we have said about Rachel, her role as our matriarch, as the progenitor of Jewish nature, and of her beauty, it should now be clear that our weapon for defeating Amalek is the special beauty and grace of the Jewish mother. Joseph the tzaddik (righteous one) inherited his mother Rachel's beauty and he too is described as having a beautiful face and a beautiful figure. That is why the prophet says about him that "the house of Jacob will be fire and the house of Joseph its flame and the house of Esau straw, and together they will ignite him and consume him; and there will be no remnant for the house of Esau."

True Jewish beauty and grace destroy the enemy indirectly but, beauty is no regular weapon. True grace and beauty work by attracting the sparks of holiness that are bound within the enemy. These sparks are G‑d's will that the enemy still exist. Yet, when they are redeemed by their attraction to true beauty, they escape the enemy's grasp, leaving him void of any Divine source and causing his demise. True Jewish beauty and grace destroy the enemy indirectly by leaving him void of any beauty or grace himself, making him irrelevant and powerless.

The battle against Amalek in our generation must be conducted primarily with our ability to communicate to all around us the true nature of Jewish beauty and grace. It is to this beauty of Jewish nature and character that we return during the month of Cheshvan by reconnecting with our matriarch Rachel, with our own Jewish nature, and with ourselves.

Also visit: http://rachelstomb.org

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Yiddishe Mama

Rachel lost her own spiritual luxury - the privilege of being buried in the Cave of Machpeilah - in order to help her children. This represents the unparalleled quality of the "Jewish mother" who is always willing to sacifice her own needs, spiritual or physical, for the sake of helping her children.

And this is the inner reason why Jewish identity follows the maternal and not the paternal route. For even though the father possesses a greater degree of spirituality - since he has the privilege of observing more mitzvos than a woman - the quality of a Jewish mother is nevertheless greater, that she is willing to forego much of that spirituality in order to enable her to raise a family with tender loving care. And since this quality is even more quintessentially Jewish than the spirituality of the man, it is the mother that actually makes her children Jewish.

Based on Likutei Sichos of the Lubavitcher Rebbe

Parshas Vayechi: Gutnick Chumash

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Mama Rochel understood that tending to a broken heart comes above even Kavod Hashem....

When Rochel, out of frustration, complained to Yaakov about not having children, Yaakov got angry with her. The mefarshim say, based on a medrash, that Yaakov was punished for getting angry at Rochel and telling her that she needs to daven to Hashem and not complain to him.

Rav Moshe Shmuel Shapiro points out that Yaakov was defending Kavod Shamayim (the honor of Heaven) and was correct that Rochel's complaints were unjustified. His mistake was that he addressed the words that she spoke and not the pain in her heart. Had he pierced the veil of her soul, he would have known that because of her anguish, the words escaped her mouth and she was not accountable for them. He should have been slower to defend Kavod Shamayim and faster to understand human suffering.

This he explains was the greatness of Rochel. After the destruction of the first Temple, when Bnei Yisroel went into Galus, all the Avos and Imahos came before Hashem with all their great zechusim but were turned away empty handed. All the heroism of the Akeida, Yaakov's Torah, and lives of pure mesiras nefesh to build Klal Yisroel, did not impress Hashem in that dark moment of history.

The only one who merited Hashem's attention was Rochel Imeinu. What was her great act that warranted this special treatment? That she gave the simanim to her sister and helped fool Yaakov. With this bravery, in her mind, she was sabotaging the history of the Jewish nation since she understood that it was her and Yaakov that were destined to build the nation. Nevertheless she chose to cast aside her own destiny and Hashem's grand plan in order to save her sister from a single embarrassing moment.

Only Rochel, who had such a deep understanding of another person's pain and how it carries more weight than the entire Jewish experience, can be Hashem's emissary to bring his children's pain before Him. Only tears from Mama Rochel can bring the Geula.

Miriam's Well

Art: Devorah Designs

[Please pray for the refuah shelaima [complete recovery] of Chaya Bracha Miriam Shira bat Mira, from the Lubavitch community in Chicago, mother of four young children]


"The congregation had no water, so they ganged up against Moshe and Aharon..." [Chukas 20:2]

Water assists the digestive system to break down food, and the water within the bloodstream carries those nutrients to all parts of the body.  This represents the mission of all Jewish women: to bring the well of living water - Torah - to nourish all segments of the Jewish people, even those who totally lack knowledge of it.  Thus we find that, while still in Egypt, Miriam devoted herself to small children, and her heroic efforts led to the annulment of Pharoah's decree against children.  Consequently, it was in her merit that the well water came, since water represents the universal dissemination of Torah.

Thus, when a mother, sister or teacher educates a child, we witness the modern-day "living waters of Miriam" sustaining the Jewish people in exile, making it possible to go peacefully throughout our current "sojourn" in the "desert" of exile.

In addition to providing water to drink, Miriam's well also made it possible for the mitzvah of taharas hamishpachah [family purity] to be fulfilled.  There was no other source of water in the desert, so Miriam's well served as a mikvah, enabling children to be born throughout the forty years.

The custom of drawing water on Motzei Shabbat [to draw from the well of Miriam] is cited in the Alter Rebbe's Shulchan Aruch.  This appears to suggest that it is applicable today; however, this was not a custom practiced in the House of the Chabad Rebbeim.  In any case, it certainly applies to all of us spiritually: studying this law about Miriam's well influences the whole week, that it may be a healthy week in both spiritual and physical terms.

Source: Gutnick Chumash: Based on various Sichos of the Lubavitcher Rebbe

Women Unite for Fogel Family

A Jewish response to tragedy is to add light to this dark world. Women around the world are uniting to light candles for this coming shabbat, March 18, in merit of the holy souls of members of the Fogel family murdered mercilessly. Please check your local Shabbat candle lighting time and make this your status. May Hashem have pity on his children.

Guys, please remember if you live on your own, you can also join in by lighting the candles for shabbat or you can get family and friends to do so!

Please note that if you already light shabbat candles, it is better not to add extra candle in their memory, but rather invite a friend who does not light to do so. If you keep shabbat you may choose to light the candles a little earlier.

May Hakodosh Boruch Hu inundate our world with his light and the light of peace and may the holy neshamot (souls) of these special people who lived for Israel and for peace enjoy eternal life and be our emissary in asking G-d for peace...

Click here for Facebook page and add yourself to the 11,000 plus names already there.

"A small amount of light dispels a great deal of darkness" [Tanya Ch. 12]

The Woman's Role in Bringing the Redemption

By Naftali Silberberg

Our sages tell us that "in the merit of the righteous women our ancestors were redeemed from Egypt" [Talmud, Sotah 11b].  It was the women who never despaired of G‑d's redemption. In fact, while the men had lost heart and were dejected and had no desire to procreate, not wanting to subject their children to the hardships of slavery, the women were upbeat—confident that a better day was soon to come. They seduced their husbands in the fields, and raised a generation of children who witnessed G‑d's miraculous salvation.

The souls of the final generation before Moshiach's arrival are reincarnations of the souls of the generation of the Exodus. After the sea split, both the men and the women sang songs of praise to G‑d. From the Torah's description of the episode it is clear, however, that only the women's song was accompanied by musical instruments. Why? The Midrash explains that the women, while still in Egypt, were so confident that they would be redeemed, that they prepared tambourines for the day when they would sing a song of thanks for their redemption! [Rashi on Exodus 15:20, from the Mechilta]

According to the master-kabbalist the Arizal, the souls of the final generation before Moshiach's arrival are reincarnations of the souls of the generation of the Exodus [Shaar Hagilgulim, Hakdamah 20].  Just as then it was in the merit of the women's faith that the Israelites were redeemed, so, too, it will be in the merit of the righteous women of our generation, and their unwavering belief in the Redemption, that we will be redeemed once again.

Source: Chabad
Relevant: Why are so many geula bloggers women

"All salvation comes by virtue of women." [Alter Rebbe]

The Story of Devorah HaNeviah

[Shabbos Parshas Beshallach is known as Shabbos Shirah, because of the song which the Jews sang to G-d at the Splitting of the Red Sea on their way out of Egypt. The matching Haftorah is the song sung by Devorah the Prophetess (Shirat Devorah) after the Jews won their battle against Sisera]

Devorah was the only woman who was both a Judge and a Prophet. The only man who accomplished that feat was Shmuel/Samuel who bridged the Period of the Judges and the Prophets.

According to Rashi, there were forty eight male prophets and seven female prophetesses. The seven prophetesses were Sarah (wife of Avraham) Miriam (sister of Moshe and Aharon), Devorah, Chana (mother of Shmuel), Avigail (wife of David) Chuldah and Esther.

Devorah's style is described as "sitting under the date palm of Devorah," meaning that for reasons of "tzniut," or modesty, she did not wish to meet with male litigants in private. Therefore, she "set up court," performing her duties as Magistrate and as Teacher and Transmitter of Torah, in the great out-of-doors.

The Midrash places her in good company when it says of her that "Moshe, David and Devorah sang to Hashem and the Holy Spirit rested upon them." [Mechilta Beshalach 6]

The date of the reign of Devorah was 1130 B.C.E. The People of Israel had been oppressed by Yavin, King of Canaan, and his fearsome general, Sisera, for twenty years. In a prophetic message from Hashem to Devorah, Hashem informs her that the time has come to cast off the yolk of the King of Canaan, and that the task should be performed by Barak ben Avinoam along with a small army of 10,000 men taken mainly from the Tribes of Naftali and Zevulun. Other Tribes were also expected to help, but no specific numbers were required.

Sisera, hearing of this surprising and presumptuous challenge from the People of Israel, determines to destroy their army completely. He assembles a force of nine hundred iron chariots (each the probable equivalent of a modern battle tank) plus, according to Targum Yonatan 5:8, 40,000 Officers, 50,000 swordsmen, 60,000 spear throwers, 70,000 shield carriers, and 80,000 regular soldiers - the total of which by the ordinary rules of war would be expected to totally annihilate the miniscule army of Israel, G-d forbid.

But the battle is a victory for Israel, though Sisera has received aid from all the Kings of Canaan, who likewise wish to destroy Israel. Israel receives miraculous aid from the forces of Nature, caused of course by their Director. The stars approach the battlefield, scalding the army of Sisera, and causing them to seek refuge in the waters of the River of Kishon. But those waters, usually shallow, miraculously rise and drown all the forces of Sisera - that is, all but him.

Sisera, shocked and stunned by the outcome of the battle, staggers in the direction of the Tent of Chever the Kenite, who has a peace treaty with Yavin, the overall King of Canaan. Chever's wife, Yael, emerges from the tent and gestures to him to come into her tent for protection. She plies him with warm milk, and he falls asleep. She seizes a tent peg and a hammer, and drives the peg between his eyebrows, through his head and into the ground, definitely and thoroughly killing him.

When Barak, in hot pursuit of Sisera, arrives, Yael says, "the one you are looking for is in my tent, and he is quite dead."

The People of Israel follow up their victory by applying intensifying pressure on Yavin until they completely break his hold on them and in fact reverse their roles. Peace is obtained for a long period of time, forty years, in the context of those tumultuous times.

Click here to read the Song of Devorah (in Hebew and English): Devorah Hanevia

"All salvation comes by virtue of women." [The Alter Rebbe]